User:EvilZak

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	WARNING! EvilZak is an Evil Nazi Sysop from Hell! He always deletes crap pages right away, gives long bans, and uses vulgar language while doing so. Presumably, he also kicks puppies, eats live kittens, heils Hitler, and sacrifices children to the great lord Satan.

THE LANGUAGES I SPEAK!!!!
and other trivial shit

This user is an administrator and messing with him/her could result in a ban.

fh-3

This user is an advanced level of Fuckhead.

rh-P

This f****r speaks Random Humour heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

en-P

This f****r speaks English heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

sc-P

This f****r speaks Scrabble heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

MW-P

This f****r speaks MediaWiki heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

pika-P

This f****r speaks Pikachu heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

ac-P

This f****r speaks those African clicky noises heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

du-P

This f****r speaks Dumbass heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

es-P

This f****r speaks Español heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

vl-P

This f****r speaks Valley girl heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.

ow-3

This user has already read all of Oscar Wilde's works. Twice. And has his picture over his bed.

This user joined the Folding@home Team, but is going to use the project results to cause cancer rather than cure it.

“I'm going to fucking bury those guys, I've done it before, and I'll do it again. I'm going to fucking kill every Uncyclopedia user.”

- EvilZak

EvilZak is a global spy created by turkey manufacturers to destroy all ham. He walks the Earth, searching for mentions of ham and exclamation points to modify them for the evil turkey conspiracy. Saying HAM!!!!! will alert his superiors. They will send him to destroy the hamination, to maintain the turkey empire. He is known to be involved as a double agent for salami.

EvilZak attended this YKK klan rally. He's in the front row, second from the left.

He has extreme laziness.

He is also adamant in his hatred of all yous. Yous are inferior to all other members of the human race, and they should not even be counted as members themselves. He's even in the You Klux Klan.

1 THE ARTICLES!!!!
- 1.1 MORE ARTICLES!!!! THEY'RE NOT IN THE MAIN NAMESPACE!!!!
2 THE IMAGES!!!!
3 THE ARTICLES HE LIKES BEST!!!!
4 THE AWARDS!!!!

[edit] THE ARTICLES!!!!

Articles that are featured are in bold, and articles that should have been featured are in normal style.

Also: User:EvilZak/Random ideas for an article

[edit] MORE ARTICLES!!!! THEY'RE NOT IN THE MAIN NAMESPACE!!!!

User:EvilZak/Incomplete list (it's an incomplete article)
User:EvilZak/Extreme laziness (I'd have completed this article by now, but I have extreme lazine... eh, I don't feel like finishing this explanation)

[edit] THE IMAGES!!!!

PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!

These images are pieces of crap. The artist acknowledges this.

This is a gallery of the images he's done. The gallery is written in first person, unlike the rest of this page which is in third person. He has no fucking clue why that is. Featured images appear on someone else's user page.

HTML, what can't it do?	I wonder how much bandwidth I'm wasting with this picture.	I'm also capable of making TILTED RECTANGLES! YES, I SAID TILTED!	What the fuck was I smoking?
This is better than the previous four combined, but still worse than one pixel by anyone else.	For this image, I moved an oval up, then moved a smaller oval up. Nothing short of serious laber.	Here I added a rectangle and some text. Hey, I told you I had extreme laziness.	It's in black and white, so you can't see the faults as easily.
To be fair, this is the best picture of a sharpened hamster I've ever seen.	MSPaint is a good tool in the right hands. Too bad my hands aren't right.	A trophy. Notice that it is neither for excellent image editing nor given to me.	I made a typo on this image. Where I put "Signature-related human fatalities", I meant to say "EvilZak's image making talent".
At least I'm good at making images that are supposed to be revolting.	It's not easy being green. And even if it was, I'd still do it wrong.

[edit] THE ARTICLES HE LIKES BEST!!!!

(In case you weren't paying attention earlier, articles written by the man himself (that's EvilZak, in case you REALLY haven't been paying attention) are italicized.)