User:Ggarfield/crazzzzy
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 | This user is on vacation, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected return date is uncertain. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message. |
 Nominated for the Foolitzer PrizeThis user has been nominated for the Foolitzer Prize—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite users at Uncyclopedia:Foolitzer Prize.
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Threads Of Our Existence: Excerpts From the Secret Writing Journal Of F. Scott Fitzgeraldby SysRq
 ~ Why?:Are there voices coming from the closet? |
Contents |
[edit] Fuck this shit
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my anti-drug
| Hinoa F. Arash, esq. | |
List of Factoids
| Hallo, you've reached my user page. If you want to see shiny things that I've received in my time at Uncyclopedia, see here. If you'd like to talk to me for whatever reason, I've got a page for that. If you'd like to vandalize my userpage, please hold and I'll be right with you. If you're incredibly bored and want to see my userboxes, look here. If you want a cookie or someone who cares, hang up; you've got the wrong user entirely.
And enough with the voicemail conceit. I'm Hinoa, I'm a misanthrope, and I'm a pseudo-active admin of this train wreck. Yes, I probably don't know you, but I hate you anyway, so you can stop trying. ;) Fun fact about me: I hate vanity articles. I've even gone so far as to register for forums that have pissed me off to the extent of CVPing the article in question and bitch at them in person. I do not intend on changing this policy anytime soon. When I do come around here, I do maintenance work (deletions, reversions, more deletions, banninations--that sort of thing). I haven't written an article in forever. I keep wanting to, but never actually getting around to it due to laziness and such. I'm not very fond of how the Uncyc community is turning out lately. It seems to me that there's too much whoring of articles going on, and thus an article that could be genuinely funny may be overlooked by one whose author whores it out more. It seems to be a fairly hostile environment for new writers, and thus, Uncyc is beginning to stagnate a bit. (Not to mention overreaction and professional dramamancers--I won't name names, but regulars should know who I'm talking about.) That, and I'm probably suffering from admin burnout. Anyway, take a look around. I recommend starting at HTBFANJS if you're writing, and then just a few generally awesome articles: Hammer, Do NOT click any links!, Don't be Stupid, Vote Fish Penis, and HowTo:Survive a wiki vandal attack (one of mine). Enjoy, bitches. |
my anti-drug
“Пламена ада покроют ваше тело в горящей боли.”
~ Ggarfield on being evil
This user may in fact be absolutely rich in Nofu dollars, or may just happen to know the right people. If you have already met him/her with your psychic powers and can find a way to Christianize this user, please do so.
You were whored once by an evil man who has gone from the dark side to the side of goodness. He has ended his whoring ways. he has crawled out of his swamp of depression. He has taken up golf and fishing. He has shaved his face. He has taken a shower. He has eaten breakfast. He has put on a white suit. He has gone back to work. He has gotten engaged. He has taken away the hot picture that used to be here. This template replaces the evil whoring he once did. He is sorry. This message was paid for with positive energy and love
Whore of the Month December 2007
[edit] Attention
“As far as adopters go, Ggarfield is more "behind the scenes"”
~ Cajek on not being adopted by Garfield
“I may be discreet, but I always keep an eye on my adoptees”
~ Le Marquis de Nofu on watching Cajek have sex
| This user has adopted Tom mayfair. |
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| This user has adopted AE. |
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| This user has adopted cajek. |
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| This user has adopted Sex. |
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| This user has adopted Olipro. |
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| This user has adopted the practice of Fucking lying about who he's adopted. |
| 6.5 | This user has written 6.5 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities. |
User goodthink U.W.P member. | 
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[edit] Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu, the man with the golden Nofu
Hi I'm Ggarfield, and I like fishing. Trout taste good. I want a Browning Citori. I also like pie. Ok, ok, I get bored of randomness quickly, just like <insert name here>, but lets face it, I'm totally nuts full of inner randomness. I mean,come on, just picture someone who knows more about guns than a Field Officer, can knit a sweater that would not only fit your fat ass you overweight foo YOU, but would win you countless complements from old women, can bake, loves fishing, web development, goes to online school, writes for his school paper, and finally, has a vast knowledge of many types of history. I'm pretty nuts like I said fricken awesome, eh? Furthermore, I like English and Science and shooting clay pigeons and hunting deer and making websites, and now I'm here! Watch out, I will probably have taken over your brain within a number of minutes after reading this!
[edit] Bio
<insert name here>:If this is a BIO, then what was that?
Ggarfield: Never you mind. Anyway, here's a poetry BIO:
I come from the state of Wisconsin,
The land of the milk and the cheese,
Where God speaks only with cheeseheads,
It's ironic that cheese makes me sneeze.
-Ggarfield
(Adapted from famous colonial rhyme about Boston)
[edit] Final Thoughts
Seriously, if you want to talk about some article I've written, or just leave me some random award that I wouldn't deserve other than the fact that it means nothing anyway, add (with the +) some talk in the discussion area. Use a subject. If you are an admin, I want you to make my rank more official! It is already very official part of the way there, but you could help. Ask me how.
If you want to feel the love, go find a hooker! go away! I'm cynical, I can't spell without Spellchecker, and I am a member of a select branch of aristocracy known as the Nofu. I'm also notedly funny, and I DO specialize in making fun of the people that love Jesus, by loving Jesus in my own way. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus wasn't funny until I met him, and spiced things up. It spread like wild fire. My religion is Canadianism.
Don't believe it? Check it: Canadian_Jesus and Communist_Jesus
Also try:
Wire tapping - Yeah, it's my favorite
UnNews:FOX NEWS Buys Uncyclopedia - need I say more?
Model 94 Winchester - It's not at all Bad, and it's not entirely mine - I collaborated with user:MaddMax
user:Ggarfield/FDA - This is my latest project still in its fledgling stages. It will be great some day soon!
user:Ggarfield/Order_of_Nofu - The order of Nofu Project will begin shortly
user:Ggarfield/Bank of Nofu - a Bank were we Nofu Aristocrats keep our dough
User:Ggarfield/A Series of Unformal Events - It's an UnBook in the making
UnBooks:The Bootylicious Beginning - it's made!
Once again, thanks! (Or did I even thank you nofus in the first place?)
--
Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 04:28, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 04:28, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 04:28, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 04:28, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 04:28, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 04:28, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 04:28, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
|== Pokemon ==
Pokemon ,which of coarse in japanese means squinty vagina,has become the number one game in America. The first stages of pokemon were created in the aftermath of Hiroshima. The ideas of all the 150 pokemon came from geneticly mutated japanese who were in contact with the gamma radiation emitted from the atomic bombs that were dropped by America. The Empire of Japan then took all 150 mutants and put them in holding cells;except Jynx who the emperor keeps in his chamber for to use as a private whore.
[edit] Types of Pokemon
Normal
Normal types may have fewer weaknesses than the other types, but they also lack damage modifiers. The good thing about many of them is that they can learn diverse techniques like Toxic, Blizzard, Seismic Toss, and so on. This makes battling a Normal quite a bit less predictable than going up against a Pokémon of another type. You just never know what techniques its trainer has chosen to concentrate on... Use this fact to your advantage when training Normal types.
Fire
In general, Fire Pokémon are not quite as powerful as Water or Electric types, but they're an excellent choice against Grass, Ice and Bug types. Most players tend to train Charizard the most out of all their Fire Pokémon. Although the flying lizard has good stats, it's also very vulnerable to Electric and Ice attacks. It's better to stick with a single-type Fire Pokémon.
Water
Water types are abundant in all the Pokémon games -- which is a good thing if you've got a lot of Electric and Grass Pokémon. But there is simply no better choice against Ground, Rock and Fire types than a powerful Water Pokémon.
Electric
Flying and Water Pokémon are everywhere. Both are vulnerable to Electric attacks, making Electric Pokémon the single most important addition to any team.
Grass
Tangela is the only true Grass type Pokémon. All others are dual types, which makes them vulnerable to a lot of attacks. It doesn't help that Grass types are already vulnerable to four types on their own... Still, a good Grass type can save the day when going up against Electric, Rock, Ground or Water types.
Physchic
WHY DOES THIS WORK SOMEONE FIX THIS PLEASE.
IT SHOULDN'T BE POSSIBLE.
