User:Gwax/previous

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gwax
KUN.png
Knight Commander of the Order
MIT Alumnus
MIT Alumnus
This user is an administrator and messing with him/her could result in a ban.
This user believes that admins are control freaks.
This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.
This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
This user joined the Folding@home Team, because he/she gives a damn & so should you.

265K+ This user has contributed 265K+ pints points to the Uncyclopedia Folding@home Team.

4844+ This user has over 4844 edits.
This user has been
blocked 0 times.
This user's IQ is 170.

♂ This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.
This user is a monarch, or a megalomaniac.

ego This user is a deluded egomaniac.
This user is not and has never been Napoleon.
This user enjoys indiscriminate pillaging.
This user is a Mad Scientist.

This user is a Viking and enjoys killing, looting and pillaging.
This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.
This user is a level 13 Wizard. They see the fnords.
... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
This user is a conspirator in the Grand Conspiracy.
This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.
Image:Shyny ub.jpg This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.
\m/ This user is a metalhead, prone to wearing offensive shirts and headbanging to really loud music. Metalheads also have long hair, but are not to be confused with hippies.
This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

This user supports free operating systems because he/she is basically a cheapskate.

C:\>_ This user contributes using DOS.
ow-1 This user understands some of the quotes by Oscar Wilde.
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

This user is a mutant.
No user serviceable parts inside.


MEH This user redefines lazy.
NO This user doesn't care.



Uncyclopedia:Babel

enl-N This user is a native speaker of English, but Louder.
gb-N This user is a native speaker of Gibberish.
ht-N This user is a native speaker of HTML.
ns-N This user is a native speaker of Newspeak.
sa-N This user is a native speaker of Sarcasm.
us-N This user is a native speaker of American English.
en-E This user only speaks English because it was a required course in school.
fr-E This user only speaks Français because it was a required course in school.
17-X This user only speaks 1337 enough to seduce native 1337 speakers.
lz-X This user only speaks Lesbian enough to seduce native Lesbian speakers.
vl-X This user only speaks Valley girl enough to seduce native Valley girl speakers.
au-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek 'Straylyan whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
enr-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Engrish whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
ca-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Canajan, eh? whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
sl-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek sign language whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
uk-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Correct English whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
bs-4 This user speaks Bullsh!t at a near-native level.
cpp-4 This user speaks Cplusplus at a near-native level.
il-4 This user speaks Igpay Atinlay at a near-native level.
MW-4 This user speaks MediaWiki at a near-native level.
pe-4 This user speaks Plain English at a near-native level.
re-4 This user speaks Recondite English at a near-native level.
rh-4 This user speaks Random Humour at a near-native level.
css-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of CSS.
php-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of PHP.
sc-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Scrabble.
vb-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Visual Basic.
perl-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Perl.
se-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Simple English.
yt-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of ytmnd.
mor-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. ..
ju-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Joual canadien.
ru-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Русский.
tlh-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Klingon.
vg-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Vogon.
wr-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Write-only.
ac-0 This user does not understand those African clicky noises and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
da-0 This user does not understand Danish and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
de-0 This user does not understand Deutsch and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
do-0 This user does not understand Dolphin and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
es-0 This user does not understand Español and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
et-0 This user does not understand Estonian and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
grc-0 This user does not understand classical Greek and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
hr-0 This user does not understand Hrvatski and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
it-0 This user does not understand Italian and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
ja-0 This user does not understand Japanese and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
ko-0 This user does not understand Korean and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
la-0 This user does not understand Latin and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
og-0 This user does not understand Ogopogan and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
nl-0 This user does not understand Dutch and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
nq-0 This user does not understand Nelly queen and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
Pie-0 This user does not understand Pie and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
pl-0 This user does not understand Polish and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
pt-0 This user does not understand Português and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
sp-0 This user does not understand Spanglish and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
sv-0 This user does not understand Swedish and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
zh-0 This user does not understand Chinese and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
ah-G This user does not speak Asshat and furthermore believes Asshat to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Asshat.
ao-G This user does not speak AOLer and furthermore believes AOLer to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of AOLer.
du-G This user does not speak Dumbass and furthermore believes Dumbass to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Dumbass.
elv-G This user does not speak Elvish and furthermore believes Elvish to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Elvish.
eo-G This user does not speak Esperanto and furthermore believes Esperanto to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Esperanto.
fh-G This user does not speak Fuckhead and furthermore believes Fuckhead to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Fuckhead.
fur-G This user does not speak Furry and furthermore believes Furry to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Furry.
gbs-G This user does not speak Galactic Basic Standard and furthermore believes Galactic Basic Standard to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Galactic Basic Standard.
java-G This user does not speak Java and furthermore believes Java to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Java.
pika-G This user does not speak Pikachu and furthermore believes Pikachu to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Pikachu.
tx-G This user does not speak Texan and furthermore believes Texan to be an embarassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Texan.



RENT This space for rent.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

"4 out of 5 grues prefer gwax over other adventurers."

~ A grue on gwax

“4 out of 5 trucks prefer gwax over turtle wax.”

~ Optimus Prime on gwax

"Beep, beep, beep, beep."

~ Sputnik I on gwax

Sir Major gwax Image:Signuke.gif KUN UotM FH++ F@H CM GD NS Bur. +S is a man, or maybe a dragon, or perhaps a robot. He might actually just be a figment of his own twisted imagination but we don't really want to bother arguing with him because he tends to be kind of loud.

Contents

[edit] The Rules

gwax lives by a very strict set of rules:

1. When you're chucking a danish, everything is a cop car.
2. When in doubt, go left.
3. When in doubt, buy double.
4. Even floors do not exist.
5. Apathy is the lazy man's whatever.

[edit] FAQ

Here are some answers to some questions that no one actually asks:

[edit] Is gwax a robot?

Yes.

[edit] Can he transform?

Yes.

[edit] Has gwax ever been eaten by a grue?

23 times and counting.

[edit] Is gwax religious?

No, he is a Zen Discordian.

[edit] Is gwax a samurai?

No, but he wishes he were.

[edit] Is gwax a vigilante?

No, he is a professional.

[edit] Is gwax a member of the Illuminati

No, there is no Illuminati.

[edit] Is gwax insane?

Maybe.

gwax likes the number 3
gwax likes the number 3

[edit] What does gwax like?

3

[edit] What does gwax hate?

Tangled phone cords.

[edit] What does gwax do in his free time?

Play Zork, play Go, play craps and build Pigs from kits.

[edit] Is gwax the Messiah?

No, Todd and gwax lost the last election.

[edit] Has gwax ever been to war?

Yes, he was a hero of the cow war of 1927a-1927i.

[edit] Did gwax really help invent turpentine?

Yes, it is largely his fault..

[edit] Who are gwax's heroes?

The Tick, Emperor Norton I and Optimus Prime.

[edit] Where does gwax hail from?

Parts unknown, or maybe Eastern Massachusetts.

[edit] Would gwax like a sandwich?

Yes, please.

[edit] Can I poison the sandwich?

If by "poison" you mean, "add bacon to", then sure.

[edit] Has gwax ever killed a man just to watch him die?

No, the jerk had it coming.

[edit] Does gwax really hate fun?

Yes.

[edit] Has gwax ever died?

Yes.

[edit] Does gwax know what the afterlife is like?

No, he was lying about having died.

[edit] Does gwax lie often?

No.

[edit] Was that a lie?

No.

[edit] How about that, was that a lie?

Shut up!

[edit] Contact Information

User talk:Gwax : it's just that simple.

[edit] Awards

Least Awards Award

This user has the least number of awards at Uncyclopedia. Whoops, not anymore.


This User Is Better Than You

Give up now.


Killed in Action

This user has made the supreme Uncyclopedia sacrifice, donating a life in the line of Zork only to be repeatedly eaten by a hungry grue.


"Good show, chum!"
Keen!-ness Merit

For vigilance when an admin was busy not doing his or her job,
this Uncyclopedian is awarded a really cool, shiny new thing! Keen!

You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.
Apparently you are "notable".
Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.
Original Ninjastar
I award gwax a Ninjastar for stirling work
in the field of ancient history. –Mhaille


Image:Newcookie.gif Todd Lyons has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Awarded 12/16/05 ~ For your pioneer contributions to Uncyclopedia:Folding@home.

Image:Funhater.jpg

Fun Hater Award

This user HATES fun. They sit on their proverbial porch all day and shake their canes at anyone who dances or laughs on their wiki.


"Get a hair cut, you hippie!"


For hating fun. KATIE!! 20:09, 3 Jan 2006 (UTC)

The Burninator!

This User is hereby cited for extreme diligence
in the deletion of crap. Fear them.


For requiring a template to stay your deletions. KATIE!! 06:20, 5 Jan 2006 (UTC)
Image:Funhater.jpg

Fun Hater Award

This user HATES fun. They sit on their proverbial porch all day and shake their canes at anyone who dances or laughs on their wiki.


"Get a hair cut, you hippie!"

Uncyclopedian of the Month Award Uncyclopedian of the Month February 2006


Anal Retentive Fun Hater On Wheels Award

This user makes even a Wikipedia Admin seem as good humoured and amusing as Fred Rogers in a tutu.

"I do not believe in kidding; there is no room for comedy in such a serious matter." -gwax

The Magical Eight-Days Gestating Bear Award

The Magical Eight-Days Gestating Bear
wishes to thank you for voting "si" on bear in VFH.
Hooray for you! Hooray for magical bears!

THIS USER HAS WON A
~~ JESSE AWARD ~~

Pi Award


This user has been a good uncyclopedian,
and therefore gets pi.

KEEP YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF IT!

Original Ninjastar
I award this page a Ninjastar because you created the Ninjastar page. –conorkirk



[edit] Notes

gwax is forgetful, so he maintains a bunch of notes to himself. Most notably, gwax maintains a to do list.

[edit] To Do List

[edit] Play

[edit] Figure Out

  • Where my mother fucking cheese go at?
  • Why Template:Q and possibly all <code> sections have a very slight grey background.

[edit] Investigate

[edit] Exuent

Exit

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