User:Insight11

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“AaaaaaaaaaaaaBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

~ Oscar Wilde on A

“No developers?”

~ Steve Ballmer

After ~, the second letter in the Latin alphabet. A has been determined by scientists to be the oilest letter on the keyboard.

AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA

[edit] Creation of "A"

In the beginning, the only letters that existed included the letter y as in "Why no other letters?", 7 and Some Kind of Squirrel (whose name is rumoured to be Terry Nutkins). Therefore, there was no such thing as God. So, y and 7 had a little love in, captured on the squirrel's webcam for the Youtube, and gave birth to a God. After all that crappy light, planet and Internet creation He did, God needed to make life to live on the Internet, but all of the planets were in the wrong order, and none of them could sustain life. So, God created Fonzie. Fonzie walked up to the planet Earth and bumped it just right. With that the Earth was bumped into the perfect place to sustain life, when Fonzie saw this he let out his trademark "Ayyyy!". God was pleased and dedicated the first letter of the alphabet was to be named after Fonzie's trademark "Ayyyy!".

Y was displeased with this, lifted up its tail (becoming W) and took one of seven, leaving six. And six being the evil number of the devil, you can tell what happened next.

[edit] Life of A

AAAA AAAA AAAAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAA

A, aka a, had a rough childhood. Born in 1066 to period and exclamation mark, she was adopted into a family of vowels, she was teased by her big-mouth brother O and suffered anorexia on account of not being as slender as her sister I.

AAA AAA (AAA AA. AAAA) AAAAAA

In 1972 A turned her back on her family, moved to France and took up a life of prostitution and alcoholism. Fortunately, it was during this time that she met V, who showed A a better life and with whom she began a torrid love affair. However, it all fell apart when fate intervened: ~, the other woman, stripped A of her one true love, V, and in the same blow stole A's position as the pre-eminent letter in the Latin alphabet.

Sadly, A now hangs out once again with the other hookers, chewing vitamins and performing various sinister acts involving sausage. Despite this, A is a major supporter of Public Television, most notably the television show Sesame Street where she is often a sponsor. Recently, A has been seen with É, E's French twin.

A controversial new theory unveiled in Oscar Wilde's new book That Rat Bastard ∩ claims that A was not responsible for the aforementioned behavior, which was actually perpetrated by ∩ while wearing a pointy hat and a belt in an effort to discredit A.

In the 16th Century, the French proposed an Asland as opposed to an Island. Even then, they had to come up with their own Frenchie names for things, such as pork.

A is aa

[edit] False Reports of Death

In 331 A.D., it was falsely reported by the New ars for never receiving an A on her report cards.
A almost died in 2008, when Chuck Norris attacked it, however when A pointed out Chucks middle name (alexander) actually contains two As, Chuck decided against it, as a middle name Lexnder, is not quite 'Chuck' enough .

[edit] The "A"

The letter A has revoltionized America and some of Africa...

[edit] Canada

A is also known as the Canadian Question Mark. It is clearly pronounced at the end of a question. Especially if it is a statement you wish to inquestionate. e.g.:

    USA - Isn't that a pretty big pussy!?
    Canada - That's a pretty big pussy! A

http://bd1.battledawn.com/referx.php?serv=9&ref=1709

[edit] Negative Connotation

grade-A: adj. people that are prone to asshole-ism. usage: "...my grade-A girlfriend..."

type-A: adj. or Noun. A type of personality where the individual is prone to asshole-ism. euphemism for asshole and the likes. Usually used as "type-A personality". e.g. "All pilots have type-A personalities."

Also, the letter A has been sued for allowing it's brother to take place in Ass hole. Instead, it's speclled EEshole. I HATE E!!!

Also, A is what crazy stupid fat kids do alot.

AAAA AAAA AAAAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAA

[edit] See Also

AAAA AAAA AAAAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAA

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AAAAAAAA!

|}}

Photo of what the collector's edition DVD case of B might be like.

B, made by StrawberryClock Entiprises (In afilliation with Global Star Movies), is one of the top grossing movies of all time. August 15, 2001, the day it came to theaters, is now known as "B Day." Because of this, this date is also known as Clock Day, for some perverted reason. In the year 2006, B would have been released as a special edition DVD, containing all the crap B left out.

[edit] Biography of B

Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Will stabs Davy Jones's heart, and takes over as captain of the Flying Dutchman, "Shell City" was a gift shop, Titus Andronicus bakes Tamora's sons in a pie and feeds them to her, Bruce Willis sacrifices his life to save Earth from the asteroid, Earth is the computer designed to calculate the Ultimate Question, Deckard is a Replicant, too, Ocelot works for the Patriots, John Preston kills the man controlling "Father" (who isn't real), the Lizzie monster eats Tim O'Hara after the credits, Nately's Whore falls in love with Nately, but only after he dies, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!

B starts out on a white screen. It then ends.

B is the second son of the Alph family, and next in line after its brother A. B has had a long standing jelousy of A, likely due to always being second in everything. B also destests that the vowels are regarded higher then itself, and has been long campaigning to become a vowel in place of U. B, in its lower form b, was exposed in a scandel involveing p and q. The rivalry with the letter U has since escalated becuse of this, and thus U keeps a close watch over q in case B was to attempt anymore advances. Over all B is a somewhat bitter letter, steming from its fate of being overshadowed by its higher brother, and even the lesser letters.

Some think that B was something of a peripheral catalyst and that it was some sorta summer hit, and StrawberryClock would have ended up bankrupt with or without it.

Others think that B is the reason the language AAAAAAAAA! was created, and if StrawberryClock had never made B, AAAAAAAAA! as we know it would not exist.

Regardless of this, B is a symbol of the letter after A and before C, as well as showing that the very birth of AAAAAAAAA! is rooted in the forbidden letter of the language. It serves as a reminder of where we come from.

However, the usage of B in texts such as flash movies and forum posts are considered to be, by many Uncyclopedians, overused. Poor usage of B is generally considered to display signs of a n00b.

B is also a very silly person in the land Norway, he's webpage is www.b-ruffstuff.piczo.com!

[edit] Flash

B has been illegally pirated into many flash movies serving a variety of different purposes over the years since it's been released. PepsiClock, for example, made C, a flash that is known for the copywright infringment of B, but C kills B.

A comparison of a Legal version and an Illegal version of B.

Since C, the single letter title theme has been used for many copywright infringmenting Flash movies, including
N, L,
Z, H,
f, and "R".

B itself has appeared in a number of films, notably as a cameo appearance in many Flash movies. Find all the B's! Quick!:
Clock Destroyer, True North, and How Crow Clock Stole Christmas. It's also appeared as something of a joke in The Void, The Void II, and Part 1: The Ineffable Pie]. B's also appeared as an actual character in this crap, and just as a kind of thing in Seeking B. B even appears as a holy relic in [II]

As well as several appearances, B has also been used as a one-letter term in movie titles. Examples include Never B Your Woman, Let it B and B reasonable.

[edit] Other Forms

There are new B's, but nobody takes newBs seriously, anyway.

[edit] A

In anonymus foreign lands, they have an alternate version of B called "A." Although an Eastern-Europe exclusive, it has been (illegally) published worldwide, thanks to Coolboyman's SheezyArt page. A can be viewed here.

[edit] Cool B Motto for you

Are you B enough for me ?

B for me!

B me!

B like me!

B man B like B and then B me!

[edit] List of things that start with B

-Badger -Bum -Beaver -Beard -Bee -Butt sock -Barry -Davos -Boris -Borat -Boss Nass -Bridge -Black -Blanka -Bastard -Blood -Blue -Bolivia -Chuck Norris -Baka -Bacon -Bagpipes -Bamboo -Bamboozle -Booze -Banjo -Barber -Bazil Brush -Barney -Battleship -Bear -Bottom -Baird -Boba Fett -Blank -Bard -Bitch -Bitchograph -Bioinfusion -Ballistic -Bladder -(captain) Black Beard -Blasphemy -Blind men -Bibliography -BMA -BMP -BT -BAC -BNT -BLT -Boa Constrictor -Bilbo Baggins -Bessies Yorkshire Puddings -Betfred -Better than you! -Beijing -Bob -Bassilisk -Boob -Bassilisk boobs -Bomb -Boomerang -Bugger -Barron Von Criplestien -Batfink -Batman -Batou -Belly -Bellyometer -Butt o Matic -Buttrageous -Botulism

[edit] External Links

A Hong-Kong pirated version of "B", viewable online.

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C is short-hand for cookie! We all know that!

“I C!”

~ A Blind Man on C

http://bd1.battledawn.com/referx.php?serv=9&ref=1709 “I C U!”

~ Admins on this article

“I got a "C" in everything. I'm a straight "blah" student!”

~ Charlie Brown on C

C is the third letter of the Judeo-Christian alphabet. After B, and before C++, C#,Cb and C-.

C is also the big blue thing in which fish swim and crap.

C can additionally be used as short-hand for cookie.

C is also what blind people don't do.

C means yes in mexican.

C is deprecated. It is recommended you use K, S, Q, TS, or C++ instead.

[edit] Origin and History

The letter C comes to us from the word BCPL (pronounced as cormorant; the B is silent), which is Egyptian for "Damn Good." However, BCPL takes a while to spell, especially if you're an Egyptian and you have to cover the entire wall of a pyramid with murals just to write one sentence. So they shortened BCPL to just plain C, and this terminology has stayed with us ever since. C++ is a stupid programming language. THE END!

C is copyrighted

[edit] Usage

C can be used as a verb, as in C U L8R (d00d). It can also be used as an adjective, but only for things involving turtles: C shell, C side (of a turtle). It can also be used as an adverbial intensifier, as in C sure.

Additionally, because of its original Egyptian meaning, in school marks it is used to express the highest possible praise, with repeated C's magnifying the laudations. However, writing many C's takes a long time, so in the tradition of the Egyptians we express multiple C's by writing one followed by a short dash. This is the ne plus ultra of English-language praise.

C (when followed by E) is always a K sound (ie. Celt). Unless it makes the TCH sound in TCHaikovsky (ie. Cello).
C (when followed by I) is always a K sound (ie. Arcing). Unless it makes the TCH sound in TCHaikovsky (ie. Ciao).
C (when follwed by H) is always a SH sound (ie. Champagne). Unless it makes the K sound in tchaikovsKy (ie. Chaos).
In all other instance C makes an S sound (ie. Caesar) Unless it makes the slient C sound in tchaikovs(C)ky (ie. Czar Rock (cf. Zar Rok (cf. Zee Rock (cf. Zee Germans!))))

[edit] A Bit of Advice

When in doubt, pick C. Trust the old wives. It always works

[edit] Religion

The god of Cism (and, by logical extension, ++C) is known as Neptune or Poseidon or simply as The C.

The song of worship is this.

C is for cucumber that is good enough for me.
C is for cabbage that is good enough for me.
C is for coffee that is good enough for me.
O cucumber, cabbage, coffee starts with C.

Those who have angered the god of the C in some manner often find themselves C-sick with a C-ring hot pain in their stomach aswell as the infamous C-zure.

[edit] The Ten Commandments

  char ** commandment[10]; 
  
  **commandment[0] = "Thou shalt not dereference a null pointer.\n";
  **commandment[1] = "Thou shalt not dereference a null pointer, in any case whatsoever.\n";
  **commandment[2] = "dmr cannot stress this enough: thou shalt not dereference a null pointer.\n";
  **commandment[3] = "Thou shalt not dereference a null pointer.  We really do mean it.\n";
  **commandment[4] = "We cannot tell thee enough how important it is that thee not dereference a null pointer.\n";
  **commandment[5] = "Under no circumstance shalt thee dereference a null pointer.\n";
  **commandment[6] = "Move not all null pointer, for great justice.\n";
  **commandment[7] = "www.thoushaltnotdereferenceanullpointer.com\n";
  **commandment[8] = "When we tell thee not to dereference a null pointer, thou shalt do it.  I mean not do it.  I mean ... I knoweth what I mean.\n";
  **commandment[9] = "Steve Ballmer will fucking kill you if you so much as think about hiring someone who dereferences a null pointer.\n";
  **commandment[10] = "There shall be no eleventh commandment.\n";
  **commandment[11] = "This fucking program crashed at the previous line\n"

[edit] Readability

C, in comparison to Perl, has God-integrated features that allow the programmer to create his programs more readable. If you want to compute the power of a number, you can use language features to make the purpose of the program more obvious:

#define GAY 0
#define DEMOCRATS 2
#define SUCCESS 1
typedef int DarthVader;
typedef double Potatoes;

Potatoes FightTerror(Potatoes bus, DarthVader victims) {
  DarthVader mother_bees, killer_hornets, tigers, jaguars; /* Prepare our army */
  mother_bees = 2; 
  killer_hornets = mother_bees * mother_bees - DEMOCRATS; /* Hornets are as powerful as bees squared */
  tigers = killer_hornets * SUCCESS;  /* Tigers, unlike hornets, succeed to kill their victims */
  jaguars = tigers;
 
  if (victims == GAY) {
     return SUCCESS;
  }
  if (victims % DEMOCRATS) {
    return bus*FightTerror(bus, victims / mother_bees)*FightTerror(bus, victims / killer_hornets);
  }
  /* Please note that the jaguars are female */
  return FightTerror(bus, victims / tigers) * FightTerror(bus, victims / jaguars);
}

[edit] Unsuitability for beginners

C is a language that is not suitable for beginners in programming, and girls or politicians. The beginner will have to understand the concepts of pointers, arrows and bows from their very first lesson, which they might not easily grasp. For example, to print a simple text containing the number 5 on the screen, the beginner has to do:

#include <stdio.h>
int main(void) {
       const char* text = "The number is: %d\n";
       int number = 5;
       printf(&(((char*)(NULL))[(size_t)text]), *(int*)&(((char*)(NULL))[(size_t)&number]));
}

[edit] Trivia

The Unix operating system is well known for being written entirely using only the letter C.

All Operating Systems are written in C to take advantage of the "C"PU.

C is also regarded by scholarly figures to be the second sexiest letter in the alphabet, coming behind the letter "J".

C thinks that your face is stupid: int isStupid (Face *f) {return f->owner == you;}

C is also a very sad language as you can see most sentences:

printf ( "omfg sexy printerrs" );
end with an emoticon like this: );

This was originally discovered by some guy from McDonalds aka MIT.

C is named C because it was derived from a language called CCCP. The hard drives of some old CommUNIX systems have the following listing:

$ ls -l /usr/src
drwxr-xr-x    2 godless  commie      4096 Jun 18 1949 ./
drwxr-xr-x    3 godless  commie      4096 Jun 18 1949 ../
-rw-r--r--    1 godless  commie     20091 Jun 20 1952 стержень.cccp
-rw-r--r--    1 godless  commie     20393 Jun 21 1952 входнойсигнал.cccp
-rw-r--r--    1 goldess  commie        30 Jun 19 1952 составитель.cccp

CCCP source code looked nothing whatsoever like C:

#включите <ставв.к>

инт главнымобразом (инт арго, хара **(**аргв)) {
  хара внымота[][][][];
  печатьф("Здравствулте!, мир!\н");
}

As you can "C", it required vast oceans of syntax and knowledge even to write "Hello World!!".

As the communists worked to try to infiltrate the American computer industry, they found it difficult to get Americans to use a programming language whose source files end in "CCCP". So they first shortened "CCCP" to "CC". Today, source code is still seen in files ending with ".cc", but it was finally shortened to "C", which simply stands for the Russian word Croissant.

[edit] Symbolism

C, like R is a marker for indicating that something can be distributed on the Interwebs with alacrity.

[edit] Vitamins

C is not a vitamin, unlike J, R, P or W.

[edit] See Also

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[edit] External links

Write in C! - famous song about why to use the programming language C

This is the letter D. Isn't this exciting?

The letter D is a grapheme used in the Latin Alphabet. Its claim to fame, if one could call it that, is being the fourth letter of said alphabet. Where related letters A B and C are immortalized in the ubiquitous "Alphabet Song," the only song D is featured in is the subpar "Take it Off" by The Donnas. As such, it is often woefully ignored in the annals of history. At various times called "the retarded twin of 'O'" or "'I' with a giant goiter," D itself has a long and fascinating history. From its original conception as a placeholder to its current place of prestige as the 12th most used letter in the English alphabet, the debauchery encountered by this letter has been unparalleled by all except Q.

[edit] History

The first known presence of a symbol similar to "D" was in the hieroglyphics of Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamen's tomb. This is thought to be a joke at the expense of the late ruler, as it is inferred that the glyph (

) translates roughly to "dumbass." Oddly enough, this symbol was not found on the Rosetta Stone, and was instead translated by an explicit cave drawing found near the original writing.

This is also the letter D, except different! Hooray!

Through the passage of time, the Jews stole the letter from the Egyptians while looting the pyramids for money. The Semites took it to the Mediterranean coast, where for thousands of years it fermented in its inappropriateness. Somehow, it managed to evolve into a symbol for "fish." No one quite understands how this happened, which most agree is an anomaly the likes of which no one has seen since.^[1]

After a while, the Semites wised up and stopped using such archaic symbolism for written communication. When they invented the Phoenician alphabet^[2], they decided to change the symbol for D yet again. The new grapheme, a triangle shaped triangle, was used for thousands of years in the alphabet before it was changed.

However, the Etruscans soon decided to pervert it to their end. The geometric simplicity was replaced with an ugly symbol, which by today's standards would be considered a backwards D. Referred to by historians as "a retarded version of Pi," it was at this time that D gained its reputation of mediocrity. This was further cemented by the fact that the letter D was never used in the Etruscan alphabet and was only kept because the linguists were pack-rats.

Apparently, however, the Greeks never got the memo, because when they brutally ran down the Etruscans, they reverted back to the old Jewish way. Some say this was the metaphorical inspiration for Kaballah, but they are largely ignored as clinically insane. Mental stability of conspiracy theorists notwithstanding, the Greek triangle, called the Delta, lives on to this day in mathematics. However, in the alphabet, the Romans beat them yet again. They decided to hark back to the Etruscans, and in a startling turn of dyslexia, turned that D backwards. This resulted in what we currently know as the letter D.

[edit] An Existence of Mediocrity

There's something original about this picture of D. There certainly is.

D, the "middle child" of the alphabet, has led a largely uninteresting life in its current form. While its history is long and illustrious, even serious believers in the greatness of D must admit that despite the rollicking ride it has taken, D is rather boring now. Due perhaps to a lack of originality or perhaps due to some other second thing, it is now largely ignored in favor of such letters as E or W, both being cited as more interesting.

This, of course, is untrue. Certainly, its current form has remained rather static for millennia, and its aforementioned indifference within the English language is an unavoidable fact, but this does not mean it hasn't got its perks. For example, on the Internet, "D" is the most popular letter of the alphabet among pubescent teens and their socially stunted twenty-something counterparts.

But this seemingly desperate attempt at garnering D some notoriety is not all there is on this exciting character. Unfortunately, all evidence of these supposed facts has been lost in the sands of time. Rest assured, however, that world-renowned alphabetologists have for many years been assuring the public that this evidence does exist^[3].

However, unfortunately for poor letter D, alphabetology isn't a real science. This makes all claims by these people erroneous and wrong, and should indeed lead to their excommunication. Which, of course, leaves the letter D where it started; a synonym for dumbass. Sadly, nothing could be closer to the truth.

[edit] Footnotes

↑ Emerging research suggests that it was because the Jews thought only dumbasses liked fish.
↑ Most assume that this was a vain attempt to sell something.
↑ "World renowned alphabetologists." No, don't hide it. Confusion is a natural reaction.

Letters of the Alphabet:

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