User:Jocke Pirat/Federal Reserve

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Uncyclopedia Federal Reserve
Premier Uncyclopedia Loans, Bank Accounts, and Banking Standards

Image:Tophatsig.png Operated by The Bankers' Commission Image:Tophatsig.png

Jocke Pirat | Gert5 | High Gen. Grue

LIVE! CURRENCY EXCHANGE RATE BOARD

All currencies have a live, calculated, universal exchange rate which is based on users and the money inside the system.

Currency Bank Total Reserve Fractional Reserve UER
YNX Bank of Yoinnx

YOINXX NATIONAL BANK
est 2007

Yoinxx Network:

Yoinxx store – UnCyc store – yHouse – Top Chop

Yoinxx

Ello to Yoinxx, the free solitary confinement that is capitalism. Here at Yoinxx, we want to make Uncyclopedia more kid-friendly, by adding currency to the game. As kids are too young to actually join Yoinxx, they cannot live here, and have to leave. Otherwise, it's a pretty dang nice currency system.

You can sign up right away below, but if you think you are going to be more active with your Yoinxx, you should really start your own Account page at User:Gert5/Yoinxx/Account:your name here

Inaffordables
  • Yoinxx Store the real one, watch and learn, sonny.
  • UnCyc the UnOfficial Yoinxx store
  • Top Chop the potato choppage contest
  • yHouse the place to live on ya own!
Members
  1. Gert5 [1,801.12]
  2. Spang [550]
  3. An Ape That Only Exists On Thursdays [500]
  4. Premier Tom Mayfair [216.12]
  5. High Gen. Grue [1,145.50]
  6. Starnestommy [498]
  7. THEDUDEMAN [500]
  8. The Grue Army Fund [1,595.01]
  9. Uncyclopedian [568]
  10. Pongo [335]
  11. Kalir [500]
  12. Enzo Aquarius [976.74]
  13. Rorozarzar [397]
  14. Bonner [450]
  15. Trar [499.5]
  16. The Led Balloon [806.79]
  17. Ikenzeke [500]
  18. Necropaxx [450]
  19. Fag [500]
  20. MNM5150 [500]
  21. DJ Irreverent [500]
  22. Spuds1 [500]
  23. Sixthhokage1[150]

Add yourself, socky!

Get a Loan, hippie!

Grab a loan at your local Yoinxx bank. That is here.

Get a loan!

You probably want to know your loans. Well...

The current interest rate by the Yoinxx bank (not the FR) is 3%. Not low, eh? Well, loanage from FR is up to 4.62%, their all time low. How magico. Since Yoinxx deals Yoinxx, we can set our own damn standards. Also:

  • N00bins and New Y can get up to 500 (1,500) in loans
  • Thousandaires and Yolk' get up to 2,500 (7,500) in loans
  • Millionaires just don't get any.
Swedish deals
Wear this with UnPride, High Gen. Grue!

We're GIVING AWAY 5,000 YOINXX to a random choice! Really! 5,000 YOINXX! You could eat yourself through the communism and dictatorship. Really. Just for August!

Also, I, Gertings Mann have declared that High Gen. Grue is Bankee of the Year, and therefore award him/her with the newly compressed and vacuumed BotY badge. Mainly, this has come to mind for the Grue Army Fund, a fund made for the well helping of Uncyclopedia, somehow with fake currency. Really, why even start?

Attention Storeowners

Starting from 28th November, Yoinxx-based stores have to pay Y15 to The Bank of Yoinxx if they want to keep up their store's Yoinxx-base. This rule is because the stores can have an infinite amount of products to sell and don't have to worry about it. Unless they pay due to this rule, they must stop accepting Yoinxx from now on in their stores. The money must be payed to Gert5's talk page where it will then move on to The Bank of Yoinxx, after that a license will be given to the previously illegal store. However, anything rightfully bought from another store can be sold without a license.

Why we're so good
Yoinxx Oceania Grue Army
Creation Date July 2007 (1st) August 2007 (2nd) August 2007 (3rd)
Creator Gert5* Jocke Pirat* High Gen. Grue*
Value (UBP) 4.3 UER 2.8 UER 2.5 UER
Clients+Creator 21+1 9+1 7+1
Clients allowed Everyone UNCYC members Grue Army members
Callsign (UBP) YNX VAL CRED
A discussion about peanuts and their affects on U.S. politics
  • Let me join, too--MNM5150 13:50, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
  • I, too, would like to participate in an Uncyclopedian market. Sign me up! Please. --Raumthemad 05:45, 27 October 2007 (UTC)
  • I would like to participate in some form of market in Uncyclopedia, but this seems to be the only one. --Starnestommy (Talk • Contribs • FFS • WP) 01:44, 31 July 2007 (UTC)
Why not. Add yourself. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 01:57, 31 July 2007 (UTC)

Everybody add themselves, I'm too lazy. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:21, 11 August 2007 (UTC)

I have set you up in the list below, including a link to a page you can use in your user space to keep your bank stuff. :) - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 02:17, 12 August 2007 (UTC)

UnPanel of Banking

Yoinxx · Valjuta · Credits

Expression error: Unexpected < operator Expression error: Unexpected < operator
VAL National Bank of Oceania 17100 153900 Expression error: Unexpected < operator
CRED Grue Army Treasury 18600 167400 Expression error: Unexpected < operator
FRN Federal Reserve Expression error: Unexpected < operator Expression error: Unexpected < operator 1


Request a Loan

Do you need a loan to purchase something? Simply drop the bankers a line on the talk page. We'll get to you as soon as possible.

The Fed Says Interest Rates Are At:

Expression error: Unexpected < operator%

An all time low, so this is the best time to loan money



Request a Bank Account

Do you need a bank account that's flexible enough to be changed into any Uncyclopedia currency, and gain interest? Sign up for a bank account at the Federal Reserve, and experience the power of being inside the system!

Account type Description Interest rate per month Courtesy Deposit
Savings Accounts They gain slow, but everyone can get them. Expression error: Unexpected < operator% 100 FRN
Advanced Savings For editors with a credit rating of 100 or better Expression error: Unexpected < operator% 100 FRN
CD For editors with a credit rating of 300 or better Expression error: Unexpected < operator% 500 FRN
Mutual Fund For editors with a credit rating of 500 or better Expression error: Unexpected < operator% 1000 FRN


Don't know your credit rating? Go to the banking standards box to find your credit rating!


Uncyclopedia Federal Reserve Notes

Federal Reserve note designs have not been made. Please be patient.


Banking Standards

Credit Rating

To determine your credit rating, simply convert all your funds into FRN, and divide it into the lending rate. Subtract 50 points for every 100 FRN you have on loan. This will be your credit rating.

Fractional Reserve Ratio

This determines how much we can loan out before going bust. It is currently at 9 debted notes to 1 real note, but can increase as demand requires.

International Bankers Pen

We sockpuppet this page and its finances. All owners of all Uncyclopedia banks can join the bankers pen.


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