User:Luvvy/Sandbox/Mensa
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Mensa is the sister organisation of al qaeda and is said to be behind the following incidents:
- The assasination of JFK
- The assasination of Alexander Litvinenko
- The assasination of Abraham Lincoln
- The future assasination of George Bush
However when Mensa isnt busy with its assasinations it is world renowned for its ground breaking research in project Creation Of Crucial Kipling Superhumans or C.O.C.K.S for short.
Other than its heavy involvment with the C.O.C.K.S project they are behind the removal of people who are 'too smart' from the community, these people are then intergrated into the secret underground community just north of Accrington. This community is nothing short of what Adolf Hitler wanted with the Aryan race (which as we know didnt work out too well). Only the key members of this community are allowed climb the sacred stairs of Xylotol to visit the 'Overworld' as mensa call it, members such as:-
- Steven Hawking (He uses the almost as sacred lift of Sorbitol)
- Elvis (Not actually dead, was intergrated into the mensa community and has just become a Key Member)
- Your Mom (No not really, was just joking, she way to dumb to go there)
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[edit] The C.O.C.K.S Project
The C.O.C.K.S project is a joint venture by Mensa, Japan and The Black Eyed Peas. The overall expectation is to have made a working Kipling Superhuman by the year 2000. Which doesnt take a member of mensa to work out that the project has failed. But still they keep working in the hope of one day mastering the art of Kipling Superhuman manufacture.
Mensa's part of the C.O.C.K.S project is the brains whilst Japan provides the tools, and The Black Eyed Peas provide the advertising. The C.O.C.K.S project currently has over one and sixty-nine billion employees. A large portion of this goes towards the testing of genetic solutions, none of these solutions has worked so far. The most notable faliure was when someone called Michael Jackson took the a solution and it turned him from black to white, which has shot him to fame.
[edit] Kipling Superhuman
A Kipling Superhuman was thought of during a Rudyard Kipling wet dream. This dream involved a woman who was so hot and sexy it made everything melt. She was so strong she lifted a whole Kipling Battenburg. And then deepthroated the whole thing. At this point Mr Kipling was mildly aroused. Then the woman ran to the nearest Tesco supermarket at the speed of light and bought one hundred million (Insert kipling cake here)'s with the money that came out of her belly button. Now Mr Kipling was highly aroused.
When he woke up he exclaimed that he must create one of these women. And so the C.O.C.K project was started, and still it continiues.
[edit] Trivia (for the non-Mensa)
- "Mensa" is Latin for "He who got his butt kicked regularly in junior high."
- In Ancient Greece there was a tradition of sending the people who were just'Too Smart' into a dungeon so they could share ideas. This is where the idea was thought of. So once again thank the frikken greeks.
- Using big words gives you gas. Remember that around really smart peoples.
[edit] See Also
NOTE:Original article from it's page copied here so I don't have to mess about with windows and tabs... DON'T DELETE ANYTHING BELOW THIS COMMENT BEFORE ASKING FOR MY APPROVAL!
Mensa is an organisation dedicated to the collection of evanescent individuals for the purposes of edification and the accretion of erudition. The members need not be particularly pulchratudinous or bonifate, and can in fact be (and frequently are) brochitous, anguine and scaerititous. However, the order has no use for mythomanes, agelasts and ultracrepidarians. It is due only to their crypaesthetic abilities that they are optated, as well as the dianotic facilities they can promulgate.
Catuchemens of the order are predominately inexperienced, one might say vernal, in the practice and ethics of sodalities, but are expiditiously versed by the elder pedagogues who are exclusively rhadamanthine in their modus operandi, something which is cardinal since these agonarchs will be bajulating the callow ones in their early years.
[edit] Deipnosophy
The novitiates must naturally become learned in the arts of helicosophy and the trigonometric arts, to aid them in the prelation from their abecedarian provenance. Numbers and the numeratic cruxities are prime in these first isochronisms, although instances can naturally be found for apricacy and other desarcanatous activities.
[edit] Gymnosophy
When the allotted solar sojourns have become antecedant, the neophytes will illustriously metriculate, being no longer picayune dilettantes, but have fledged into the mavens they found so redoubtable in their prevenant extants. They now can be subject to full anthropolatry. No sciosophists, they!
[edit] Prepotency and World Mastery
Of course, there are some aristarchs and other Momuses who untenably disparage the Brobdingnagian orders of Mensa, and even some who are presumptuous enough to make postulations to the effect that Mensa is in all verity an organisation dedicated to the realignment of the methodology and principiums of the terrestrial globe, as it were, to the realisation of holistic regulation and superintendance of our sublunary sphere. These superstitions are indubitably tantamount to base witlessness and rummage of the primary order. Mensa are gods among us, and don't you forget it, peasant!
[edit] Trivia (for the non-Mensa)
"Mensa" is Latin for "I know big words, but not the meanings"
[edit] See Also
Categories: Stub | Conspiracies | Cults | Gangs | Intelligence
