Well, Hi, I'm your friendly Co-Anchor Oliver O'Reilly... I'm very much active in the UnNews section of the site; it is in fact un-officially now my own personal Monopoly, well, I'd like to think it was, but it's probably more just one of those passing obsessions fortunately.

Ok, it's war. If anybody writes a vanity article, or a few pieces of cruft then your ass is banned for 36 hours... no more kid gloves, if you actually care about writing for uncyclopedia then get your ass onto IRC and tell me so and a few ground rules will be explained followed by you getting unbanned and allowed to continue on your merry... if you and a bunch of school friends are messing around, then the IP will be indefinitely banned since clearly you're supposed to be getting on with schoolwork; but if you really care, then when you get home, create an account for yourself and login with it at school to be able to edit.

If I ban you for whatever reason and you have an issue, then come on IRC and we can resolve the issue amicably.

• 1900 National Kill Olipro created, people try not to kill Olipro.
• 1927 Chuck Norris accidentally kills Olipro, but brings him back to life.
• 1932 World forgets Olipro was resurrected, forgets celebration
• 1960 World realises Olipro is alive after seeing him featured on Crimewatch.
• 1962 World declares every day to be National Kill Olipro Day.
• 1980 Olipro Fucking Kills™ everyone, no celebrations for 1 week
• 1999 World is resurrected by quantum mechanics, nobody notices.
• 2006 World learns of the past, fails to care, learn from, or otherwise document it.

• Lots of evil Javascript
• Cancer Cola
• The UnNews Main Page!
• Wikipedia & Wikia are attacked by a new breed of wiki-terrorist.
• The World is currently preparing for a bird flu pandemic.
• Bill Gates played an April Fools on the White House
• Uncyclopedia is being vandalised right under our noses.
• Everybody Tolerates Raymond but they don't like him.
• April Fools Jokes that just aren't legal.
• Pampers is run by super-babies
• Rockstar Games Makes a GTA for the English
• Apple launches another revolutionary iPod
• Windows Server 2003 found inferior by restaurants to Line-UX system.
• CIA Realises the organisation has been using black highlighters.
• This Page.
  

• This isn't random.
• No matter how many times you refresh
• That Chuck Norris had Your Mom?
• That it's not legal to be on that site?
• AAAAAAA AAA AAAAA AA AAAA A AAAAAAA AAAAA?
• That WAR is PEACE?
• That shit stinks?
• That for every 2 good article I write, I write a shit one too, I'm short a lot of good articles.
• That you can't edit Touch This?

The Sun is a well-known printer of bullshit

The Sun claimed to have revealed the true identity of one of the London Bombers, capturing it in this provocative newspaper headline, featuring a group of workers, designed to represent the Nation but actually being a load of utter crap.

Knight Commander of the Order

Featured Image: Fmj.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Image: Nukemeifyoucan2.jpg This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia.

The Burninator! This User is hereby cited for extreme diligence in the deletion of crap. Fear them.

E G A E D M The Emmanuel Goldstein Award May 2006

Foolitzer Prize Winner June 2006

You get a hippie! Yay!You discovered my gender! Tell anyone and I'll forcefeed you a margarita made from your blended genitals, glass and all! Otherwise, here's a hippie! –Ж Kalir potentially sexier than you

Uncyclopedian of the Month June 2007

Useless Gobshite of the Month November 2007

This user is a Fellow in the Potatochoppers' Guild, and has earned a great deal of respect. Ask this user about joining!

This user has adopted UNKNOWNFILE.

This user has adopted AAA!.

This user has adopted Midget 1990.