User:Pika8888/May (Pokemon)
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| This tag makes no sense! Due to hating Pokémon making sucked by their idiot Uncyclopedia users, The editor, Pika8888 (and others, too) will have chance to rewrite this article, and WILL finish it. Do you have any idea what i just said?! | 
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May is the replacement to Misty on the hit reality show Pokémon. She is extremely headstrong and shows that people who call her stupid could get laid out.
Contents |
[edit] Biography
Not much is known about May before Pokemon, except that she seems to be related to Max. Her father is believed to be a gym leader, but he sucks, and people beat him without trying, because he only uses that fat, ugly, sloth Pokemon.
Because of this 'important' position, May became accepted into the show.
May is thought to be so stupid because, like Misty, she lacked coordination. Later, this coordination problem was attributed to a slight nerve injury, but that was taken care of via surgery. May was also about to become broke.
May is the third hottest girl in Pokemon, after Dawn and Misty. She would be second hottest, in front of Misty, but for some bizarre reason, she grows the sides of her hair long and shaves the rest of her head (not to the point of baldness, but enough to be noticed). Most people theorise that the reason why she does this is that it is a side effect from drinking nothing but Slim Fast.
Her Japanese name is Haruka, thus not to be confused ha a NetNavi friend.
[edit] Role in the Show
May replaced Misty after, in season six, Misty went to AA meetings due to her constant consumption of alcohol. May used to suck at pokemon, but thanks to intense training from the masters, May is a HELL of a lot better than she was when she started off. She usually runs around during the show and copies what the rest of the party does (Low Self-esteem much?). There are a number of possible reasons, but one may be depression. May just wants to be accepted, don't you SEE? She is removed at the start of episode ten because she was doing some guest modelling for WAMTEC's EBP Videos.
[edit] Other Stats
- May has an IQ of about 130-ish. But of course, that just means that I have less than no chance with her...
- May has a wicked awesome car! Again, just makes her way cooler than me.
- It is rumored that May and Mario are secretly going out. This, of course, is probably true, but I'm in denial so SHUP UP!
- May has recently read this page and has said:
| [Users] Digimon and Dark Paladin X are pathetic and disgusting little creeps...Honestly, they're like the people who were too useless to become stalkers...' |
Later, someone else would uncover that, in fact, Britney Spears said this, but she was dressed similarly to May.
- The May that we know of for over 2 years actually is unaware of the existence of many people who wish they had a chance with her.
[edit] May's Secrets
[edit] The reason why May was replaced
Most of you may wonder why May has been replaced with Dawn (who is not half as hot as May). The reason is that May was too intelligent of a character to stay on. That's right, the CHARACTER actually LEFT the show. Screw the fact that May is an entirely fictional creation in the minds of various underpaid artists, she escaped and is currently developing her own television show.
[edit] Why May supports waterboarding torture methods?
If anyone asks why May is sympathetic to extremely cruel torture methods, refer to the next section.
[edit] May's stalker
May is well known to be constantly stalked by The Über Pokéemo Sociopath|The Über Emo, whose lack of common grammatical logic and spelling are enough to scare anybody. When May was first spotted by the Über Emo, he desperately attempted to talk to her but failed miserably; he ended up attempting suicide. And, of course, failed.
When she met with him again 3 weeks later, she beat the tar out of him; though May is normally peaceful, the emo just had to be beaten up by someone. The Über Emo was then arrested and sentenced to 8 years in a mental facility and 4 years in therapy after that. Somehow, he managed to kill himself in a completely padded room while tied down; this was seen by many as the most positive impact his life had on the world.
May enjoys using Über Emo as an insult to those who act as stalkers, creeps, or otherwise dim people.
[edit] Reaction to Ash's Death
May was glad to hear of Ash's death. In fact, rumor has it that she had a hand in it, disclosing Ash's location to a group of wild and unruly yet completely sane teenagers who would have kept playing Pokemon and watching the show were it not for the GOD DAMN annoying "gatta catch em all!" coming from a kid who couldn't catch sh*t.
[edit] Did Ash really die?
Yes, don't be an jackass.
[edit] May's Pokemon
- Torchic (how cute)
- Bulbasaur (aawww...)
- Rayquaza (wtf?!?)
- Groudon (how???)
- Kyogre (ah, makes sense, if she had Groudon...)
- Palkia (that's not even in her fkn REGION!)
- @#%)(*$ (yet to be discovered)
- zigzagoon
[edit] Closing Comments
May is just dying for some attention as seen here here. Ever since losing her job to Dawn, May has been kinda depressed. Well, she could always help me with my Uncyclopedia Member Page. Oh dear...if she finds out about this article, He's a dead man, Then I can take over *Laughs then coughs*.
[edit] Other boring links
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| People: | Ash - Ash Rectum - Team Rocket - Misty - Brock - Professor Oak - Nurse Joy - May (Pokemon) - Max (Pokemon) - Officer Jenny - Pokemon Kid - Eric Dickerson - Dawn |
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