User:Ratmaster/Non-Huffing

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Who would want to do that?!?

~ Oscar Wilde on Non-Huffing

It shouldn't be done on things like me...

~ Non-Huffable Kitten on Non-Huffing

Non-Huffing is a way to backwards huff an animal and the result makes the animal Non-Huffable. This can usually result in a less severe disease of Non-Huffability which is a born trait.

Contents

[edit] How to Non-Huff

[edit] Kittens

You get a Huffable Kitten and make it happy by making it chase a string. If that doesn't work, feed it catnip before resuming play. Then take a Non-Huffing Machine and throw the cat in it and turn it on for three minutes.
The process this cat goes through Anti-Huffane. This makes the kitten unable to be huffed and will make the huffer never able to huff again or take deep breaths which leads the huffer to do suicide.

Note that doing this to a Non-Huffable animal will cause the animal to be temporarily huffable.

[edit] Puppies

You get a Huffable Puppy and let it chew your slipper. The dog will then be in a state of Hyperactivity and will be ready to be Non-Huffed. Get a Non-Huffing Machine and depending on the size of the dog, take one of these steps:

  • Small

Throw it into the machine and leave it running overnight. The puppy may either be dead of Non-Huffable.

  • Medium

The machine should be big enough so throw the dog in and run it on high for 20 minutes.

  • Large

Buy the addon "Anti-Doggy Huff" (which looks like a Nebulizer) and strap it to the dogs face while it is asleep after you tranquilize it. Oh, we forgot to mention about tranquilizing... Oh, screw it.

[edit] See Also








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