User:Rogpyvbc

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This user is Canadian
...and actually admits to it!

ca-N

This user is a native speaker of Canajan, eh?.

ja-X

This user only speaks Japanese enough to seduce native Japanese speakers.

This user is from Victoria, British Columbia, which is not in South America. B.C. is named after the Columbia River, which runs through the province and reaches the Pacific at the border between Washington State and Oregon. It is remarkable that the river just happens to complete its run exactly where the border happens to be. Anyway, B.C. is in Western Canada; it was made famous in the prelude to Monty Python's Lumberjack Song.

This user plays the accordion, but has never met Weird Al Yankovic; but he knows someone who met him after a concert in which he threw his boxer shorts at her. Or something like that. (And no, the after-concert meeting did not involve the aforementioned boxer shorts. Get your mind out of the gutter).

This user prefers to play croquet in the snow. He never set the world record for endurance croquet when he was 19 years old because it would have meant staying up FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT; and it seems unfair you

Me... a few years ago.

can't get in the Guinness Book by doing something, well, a little less strenuous. If you could, I bet a lot more people would be willing to set world records and they would sell a lot more books.

Speaking of world records, I once ate at a restaurant in Takamatsu, Japan, which at the time held the record for plate-spinning. I spent three months in Japan teaching English, though I learned little Japanese, other than a few useful sayings such as "thank you very much," "my name is Roger," "I love you but I can't marry you," and "if you really love me, you'll stop asking me to eat raw fish."

I am now on Unsabbatical, busy working on my MFA in Creative Writing at UBC.

Commander of the Order

1 Writing
2 Reviewing
3 Ninjastars
4 Featured articles I voted for
5 Other gifts and miscellany

[edit] Writing

I have now written over 0.1% of all Uncyclopedia articles (a whole 31), and I've reviewed another 28.

Featured Articles:

Global Cooling - May 31, 2007 (Featured version)

In recognition of your contribution toward maintaining a humourous atmosphere on Uncyclopedia.

Thank you for keeping Uncyclopedia cool.

Bipolar bear - July 5, 2007 (Featured version)

Here's ~~two bucks~~ a charming portrait of a bipolar bear for your heartfelt support of manic-depressive wildlife.

Bipolar Bears Rule!!

Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light - August 1, 2007 (Featured version)

BIG MOTHER AND BIG FATHER ARE WATCHING YOU!

Though it's cold and lonely in the deep, dark night

They can see a Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light

Other articles I wrote:

UnNews Reports

- made the UnNews front page January 18, 2008

UnNews:Photo of Clinton Wearing a Burqa Creates a Stir

Articles I re-wrote:

Articles I contributed significantly to:

Worst 100 Self-Help Books (numbers 1-18)
Canadian Military
Tim Hortons (RRRoll up the brews to lose)
Game:Pick Up the Phone Booth and Aisle/superhero (change clothes)

[edit] Reviewing

	Rejoice, Rogpyvbc! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Articles I have received the Golden Shower Award for reviewing:

Laura Secord
Soul Market (quasi-quasi-featured)
Did I really move to LA? (quasi-featured)
Portishead
Hunter

And I got this for reviewing Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder (featured):

Rise, Rogpyvbc! You have been proclaimed by Big Brother to be an honorary member of the Inner Party for your contributions to Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder!

Subject to ability to pass a Ministry of Truth orthodoxy test. Offer invalid outside Oceania.

Other articles I've reviewed:

Muiderberg
War on Spinach
Maternal Mastery Theorem
The Hokey Pokey
William Shakespear
Roberts' Rules of Order
Celebrity Manufacture (quasi-featured)
Jolt Cola
Front de libération du Québec
HowTo:Throw a temper tantrum (featured)

UnNews:Uncyclopedia is better than Wikipedia
UnNews:Rain falls on United Kingdom (featured)
UnBooks:Beverly Hills Tales (writing in progress - this will be a good one!)

[edit] Ninjastars

Whirling Star of Vigilance

For extreme services to VFD in digging up all its embarrassing past, your friendly neighbourhood poopsmith awards you something shiny and spinny. –Strange but untrue

- Ljlego also awarded me one of these for helping put templates on articles nominated for deletion.

[edit] Featured articles I voted for

	Congratulation! You are now happy owner of new proud fat kid with an Accordion from El Zoof!
	Much felicitous appreciations for happy double nice good voting for HowTo:Stop Playing the Accordion

Congratulations

Thank you for voting on Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor. You have been awarded a meaningless template which was adapted slightly from an equally meaningless one by another user! You may now feel part of the Evolver Club, even though the writer has no idea who you are and is only giving you this so you vote for his articles again.

Weasel3689 would like to thank you for
Lord of the Flies.

Remember:
Weasels Rule!

Thanks for voting for Blandford

Have some special Blandford-style tea.

Luckily you voted for this article. If you didn't you might have found yourself headless down a well

	Herr Doktor has awarded you a pumpkin pie!
	For voting on Gallows Humor "With your stamina refilled, time to work!"

OMG THANX!!!
	For voting on my Lego Assassination Image on VFP! Sliffy thanks you! I so totally stole this box
Now sing along: “Ebony, Ivory, living in perfect harmony!”

Mr. Kearsy
..is so cool, he doesn't have to say anything in order to thank you. Just look into his eyes and you'll know.

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for HowTo:Be a Jehovah's Witness.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

A tall, dark man pushes a note into your hand; it reads:

"The The Don thanks you for voting for

Film Noir. He offers a free secret from

Jimmy the Shoeshine Boy as a reward."

The man turns away, muttering he has an appointent with someone's mom...

For voting for OCRD, Big Brother thanks you! As a gift in return, have a pet Stalingrue.

BB claims no liability if it bites off one of your fingers or three.

REJOICE!
You have received the
Double-Douser's Award
for exemplary utilization of boiling, scorchingly hot water.

Thank you for helping make
Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers?
the most strongly favored article in Uncyclopedia history!

Thanks for the vote!

For showing the good taste/pity to vote for Old McDonald on VFH, 15Mickey20 would like to reward you with a chicken! He hopes you find many uses for this gift.

AHEM!

IS THIS SOME KIND OF FUCKING THANK YOU?!

You head on over to the VFH page, and notice that Is This Some Kind of Fucking Joke?! is no longer there. No it hasn't been stolen you fucking moron! It's simply been moved to the Main Page.
Kindly accept this offering of Jalapeño Cheddar flavored Cheetos as a personal thank you from RAHB for voting for it. Now stop viewing this template and clean the fucking carpet!

Leoispotter has awarded you a helmet!

Now you can bash your head against a brick wall safely and in style!

Manforman has awarded you a booger...

So you can sell it for a lot of money on eBay.

Your vote for HowTo:Deceive people on eBay is greatly appreciated.

Sonic80 has awarded you a magnifying glass of which you, too, may use to get thousands of dollars, in government subsidies for insect torture research.

Peace, love and Far OUT!

Prettiestpretty appreciates your vote for the

Old hippie chick who's always collecting money on VFH.

Thank you for choosing the Bow tie
You are now more attractive, more intelligent, and more popular in school.

	WILSON!! WIILLSOOONN!! Hey, there he is! Anyways, The Led Balloon would like to thank you for voting on UnBooks:The Castaway.
	When you get on the raft, don't forget to bring...... Oh, never mind...

please accept this template both as a thank-you for voting on "Ode to the Monotony of Life" but also, in its own, small way, as a symbol of the monotony, general grayness, and eternal dull unchangingness of life, which somehow continues to go on despite many objections to it and people opting out of it, God knows why

THANK YOU FOR VOTING!
You voted for Why?:Remove Your Penis on VFH, and it got featured!! As a token of our humble appreciation, you receive 75% off your next Penis Removal!
Come see us sometime, the doctor would love to ~~meat~~ meet you.

Pelsae aeccpt tihs etxrmely ltae tnkah you tmepltae for yuor
vtoe for taht wierd atrcile taht porblaby hrut yuor eeys. Yuor wsiodm and gnersotiy are ellquad olny
by yuor bearth, wihch is as fersh as a smmuer ham.

Thanks for joining the campaign against this sort of thing.
By swelling our already formidable ranks, you have helped ensure that our voice will not go unheard!
Glorious success will yet be ours!
Sorry dear, I will keep the noise down.

Thanks for your vote.

You are presented with one (1) bomb shelter for voting
for DOHS Anti-Terrorism Regulations.
In the event of a terrorist attack, simply place your bomb
in this handy (and stylish!) container to protect it from harm.

[edit] Other gifts and miscellany

Gerrycheevers sincerely thanks you.

Your vote for NotM is much appreciated. As a token
of his gratitude, Gerry wishes to offer you his services
should you ever be looking for a goalie while planning
a pick-up street hockey game.