User:Shandon/Laughter
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Life got you down? Find yourself commanding others "Bring wood, and oil," at every negative turn? Frustrated by phrases like al dente (dent? why would I want to dent my pasta?!) and shrieking "Tear down every last tree!" in response?
What you need, my friend, is a pick-me up. One perfected by pint-sized fella so long ago everyone's forgotten about it. Bad day? Here's what you do. Yell:
"AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!"
Now, of course, I know what you're wondering. How would that help? Just take my word for it. It does. Like what mold is for antibiotics, that phrase, correctly shouted, is an infusion of happiness direct to the tired spirit.
Now trim your goddamn fingernails, will ya?
...all right, don't get insulted. C'mon, admit it: they are a little long. So here's your chance, to start perfecting the opportunity to spring this little gem on an unsuspecting world.
Say it with me.
C'mon!
...Now trim your goddamn fingernails, will ya?
(and you do)
and then you say
"AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!"
Didn't that feel great?
Now your best situation to apply this phrase is of course just after you've thrown an orc off a stairwell while rescuing your...uh...friend, but the truth of the matter is you and I just aren't going to get that kind of A-1 opportunity in this day and age. So be creative.
Go to the gas station. Make sure it's Full Serve. Tell the attendant "Fill'r up, my good man" or something equally innocuous. Wait until he's done. Present payment. And then, as he's walking away, spring it on him:
"AND THAT'S FOR MY OLD GAFFER!"
