User:Splaka/Wal-Mart's Republic of China

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	This article was written by a кoммциіѕт.
	"In Soviet Яussia, template adds УФU!!" *Note that both the Chiniзe and teh Яussians love thiz AЯTICLE!*

中华沃尔马共和国
Zhōnghuá Warema Gònghéguó


(Flag)	(Coat of Arms)

Motto: "Always Low Prices"

National Anthem: "Money makes the world go around!"

Image:Mapchina.jpg

Official language

Business

Capital

Foreign

Government

U bet!

Major Issue

Tibet!

CEO

Mao Zedong III

National Heroes

Mao Zedong, Jackie Chan, Sun Tzu, Hudson Leick and an anonymous Shaolin priest, presented in all Chinese movies, flying

Established

When dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

Currency

YuWang

Religion

Persecution

Open at the following times:

Weekdays 08:00 - 23:00
Saturdays 09:00 - 23:00
Sundays 09:00 - 18:00
Chinese New Year ~~Closed~~ Open - you Pay + 10 %

[edit] Customer Reviews

- “Sure, Wal-Mart has a lot to do with ancient China. Just as much as plastic has to do with porcelain”

~ Oscar Wilde on Wal-Mart's Republic of China

- “In Capitalist China, dog eat YOU!” - :- George Soros

[edit] History

Founded as a joint venture 1998 between the Communist Party of China Polite Bureau and Wal Mart International Inc. Known most for being the birthplace of young Fang-Xi Lin in 1991. Npw this young chinese individual buys all his belongings at Wal-Mart. Yes the store. He gets 75% off. He usually takes about 4 hours to leave the store on account of the quarter of the population of China (remember people, over 250 million PEOPLE!!!!) who live in said store. (The montreal one that is.)

[edit] Geography

Wal Mart China is located on the other side of the Earth compared to the Wal Mart Warehouses. The mystery that this arrangement can be profitable is thought to have something to do with cheap labour and Fossil fuel Magic. Yes, it is huge, yes it is. It fits over a billion people, 4% of which are perverted hentai..watching PEOPLE. Yes, one is Fang-Xi. YES, you should stop reproducing. NO, we do NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT need any more little Fang-Xi's running around our green Earth!

It has been said only Nixon could do it, but you can too!

[edit] Departments

[edit] Civil

Many security personnel are imployed at the entrance to most entrances through out the rebuplic. Code-named "greeters" these people determine the estimated value of every citizen. This allows for more effieceint elimination of n00bs, politcal prisoners, and K-mart shoppers.

[edit] Foreign

Where they export things that have any of these ingrediants:

lead
poison
STDs
LSDs
Porn (not a bad thing)
other body parts
rice

[edit] Penetration Store

A store where any loser or ANYTHING can go and get penetrated by ANYONE! No matter how ugly you are, people will love to do it. However, you may get chlamydia.

[edit] Dairy products

Clean up on isle 666. The village capitalist got loose again.

[edit] Perfume

Wonton Noodle for the lady or Ching-Chang-China-Man for the gentleman.

[edit] Tools

Ever wonder why everything you assemble that's made in China comes with an allen wrench? That's because the Chinese love allen wrenches! The nice hexagonal shape inspires efficiency. And strange sex with very little boys.

[edit] Toys

And coming soon...Fuzzy bear pets for all American childern!

Wal-Mart China toys makes the cheap look expensive. Like Fang xi Lin

Not in the sense that the cheap things they make has an extraordinary luster, but that ordinary cheap things made elsewhere look like treasures compared to the stuff this country produces. They Gaurente a delicious lead coating.

[edit] Underwares

You may think that those fancy, capitalist Silk thongs are overindulgent, and so does China! In fact, they created a cheaper version for all Wal-Mart stores that was made out of plastic!

[edit] Garden

Garden!!! they don't have enough room in the 2x2 parking lot...and that's a big one for china. And seeing how they eat babies...well I don't know.

[edit] Complaints

All complainers are shot on sight, as it is obvious they have been corrupted by capitalist influence.

[edit] Customer service

Customer service?? It's china baby

[edit] Wholesale

Wholesale? Have you been hoarding goods from your brothers in a warehouse?!?

OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

[edit] Politics

The Wal-Mart's Republic of China, is the first country in the world which has legally been recognized as a corporation. Previously known as The People's Republic of China, the country was run by the people. Specific people, in fact. These specific people were actually one person Hu Jintao, but his views represented the views of the people. Well, at least the people who haven't been shot. He still remains, but now as CEO instead of Chairman of the Party.

Image:Iron23.jpg

The PLA

[edit] Recognition

Though seemingly easy to do, many countries have failed to recognise Wal MArt China. This may be due to a politically correct atmosphere that has led people to look past things such as slanted eyes, but the act of recognition is in fact quite easy. Try it.

[edit] Manufacturing and Export Markets

China discovered a market in the year 2001 for 8 billion pairs of socks, with sock production predicted to peak at 90 billion pairs by the year 2030. Entire towns in Wal MArt China have been turned into sock factories to cope with demand. Over 700,000 'donated' political prisoner body organs are sold per month on C-bay. China has been accused of slavery, paying child workers only 3 cents per hour, but Wal Mart Inc. have played down the allegations.