User:TEH ABSOLUT BEST

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This user is a Republican and has a bizarre nineteenth century outlook.

They may even work at Focus on the Family, be a hard-working farmer, or, worse, be an unelected conservative activist judge.
For information on the best way to save our great nation from scum like this read the Daily Kos.
(Psst. He's probably also a Nazi; quick! Play the race card!)

Contents

[edit] About Me

Hi, I'm a college student from South Jersey, but I go to school in Central Pennsylvania. I'm not a normal college student. My views on the issues are more like those of that guy that didn't get re-elected to the Senate than your typical hippie student (except I'm Protestant, not Catholic). Think of me as sort of a young Jerry Falwell or Mike Huckabee. I do have a sense of humor, but I will not use the Lord's name in vain in my edits. Other than that, I will be willing to do any other edits. I think this is a great site where you can take out your urges to vandalize that evil site (where I secretly have an account but they don't know that I'm a traitor). If it ain't good enough it just gets erased as long as it's not too bad. I look forward to making Uncyclopedia as content-free as possible!

[edit] My Userboxes

[edit] Babel

en-N This user is a native speaker of English.
fr-0 This user does not understand Français and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
es-0 This user does not understand Español and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
MS-0 This user doesn't know how to speak his mind, and hates people who speak their minds because they're all annoying liberals.

[edit] What's Really Important

This user is a Christian

(as long as they put a dollar in the box)

This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
This user says "Hi-didly-o neighbourino" to you.

This user enjoys staring at spinning objects, and may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!.
YA This user is a young adult and so is probably poor, lazy and drunk or a student.
♂ This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

This user identifies as straight and so is probably homophobic.
This user identifies as asexual as it sounds better than 'virgin'.
This User has never been punished on Un-Bestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them.

Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.
This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.

This user is getting addicted to templates!


JoW This user is a suspected sockpuppet of Jimbo on Wales, but hasn't been blocked indefinitely because we are not so-called-experts.
This user rejects the theory of global warming or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.
This user does not believe in evolution preferring instead the alternate theory of Intelligent Design. This means they are not going to hell.
Sex This user is against sexuality. Probably because they're not a pervert like you.

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