Today's featured article
Canadians, or Canadianus Beerbellius, are the descendants of castaways of two pasty European nations, England and France.
Back in the day, England and France each had one problem: French people and English people, respectively. While their first solution to the problem (varying degrees of war with each other, themselves, and other countries) had successfully led to the death and mangling of untold thousands over the centuries, neither country had yet managed to annihilate the other.
A new solution had to be found. Great minds in both countries sat and pondered, eventually coming up with the brilliant ideas of more war and bigger war. These were tested on a small scale but proved unsatisfying, unsuccessful and unsomethingelse.
War, unfortunately, had two crippling disadvantages; dead people from war, and protests from the people who would end up as dead people in the next war.
A new new solution had to be found. Preferably one that involved some place far away...and what place was farther away than Canada? (more...)
Yesterday's featured article |
Did you know...
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| *... That Hanukkah is the festivle of lights, and has been celebrated by kids for the same reason for several thousand years?
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| *...that Styrofoam is a slightly edible fruit which is produced in overwhelming quantities from nothing at all?
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In the news
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- NASA declares war on tool belt; Hexagon mission against it fails, due to Obama image.
- Medvedev discovered to be possible marionette.
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On this day...
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December 2: International Boring Nordic Culture Heritage Day
- 6000 BC - Mankind born from the toil of an ice giant melting to the ocean. At least that's what Viking creationists say.
- 432 - Thor gets arrested in Valhalla after being accused of destroying an orphanage while Drunk Chariot Driving. Embarrassed, the Nordic people begin converting to Christianity.
- 793 - Vikings visit Lindisfarne Abbey in Northern England, bringing home a suspicious amount of souvenirs.
- 900 - Erik the Red, a Viking explorer and real estate agent, discovers a big block of ice, utterly unsuitable for human life. He gives it the name 'Greenland' to attract customers.
- 957 - A third Denmarks population dies victim of the mysterious axe in the head plague.
- 966 - Vikings reach Constantinople, bringing home alabaster chess sets and cheap carpets as souvenirs.
- 1000 - Explorer and murderer Leif Erikson discovers America, but realizes his mistake in time and lets Columbus and Vespucci have all the blame.
- 1429 - Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, decides not to be, and disappeares immediately.
- 1755 - Danish pastries are first introduced to non-Danes.
- 1859 - Hans Christian Andersen writes The Emperor Is A Nudist, a beloved fairy tale.
- 1916 - Europe at war. Swedes have an excellent game of bridge.
- 1940 - Europe at war again. Swedes read a lot of good books.
- 2010 - Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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The UnIdiot. One writer. One name. Two words. In the name, I mean. Last month UnIdiot...I mean, The UnIdiot wrote a bunch of things, including his (or her. I'm not here to judge) Userpage, for which he got an award of some kind.
I'm not very good at this giving praise thing. He'd probably be really good at it, though. *Sigh*
Maybe we should give him an award for that, as well. He could put it on his mantle, which is like a shelf but not as good, beside the Writer of the Month trophy. Then he would, no doubt, put on a Hawaiian shirt and race his Ferrari around, like Magnum, P.I.
That would be awesome.
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Nachlader. Born 08:41, 14 October 2007, 4lbs 411oz. With big, blue eyes and a tuft of bright red hair, and potty-mouthed Pee Reviews that'll surprise and shock the neighbours, you'll fall in love with this little user the moment you sets eyes on him. Oh, won't you adopt this user?
Free O.B.O. Phone 555-9681 after 5pm.
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