User:That Guy Huffed Me/How to:Find Love (For The Mentally Insane)
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“This helped me Find Love”
~ George W. Bush on How to:Find Love (For The Mentally Insane)
If Your reading this, you are quite literally CRAZY in LOVE. Your'e not quite as intelligent as a mildly retarded Hippo who likes to vitiate cobs. You have been in and out of the Mental Hospital for the last 10 and years now your in love with a women. Anyways I can help you, I'm Hitch And I'm gonna help you get some loving.
Contents |
[edit] Step 1:Stalking
Find the person you love and start stalking them. You should be good at this. It's just like chasing a Squirrel. Except you don't want to jump on her and start riping her apart like you do with the Squirrels. Girls Don't like that kinda stuff they wanna be loved. Try not to get caught and if she sees you in the rose bushs stop touching yourseft and don't give her a creepy half smile. Most girls get sligitly turned off by that kinda stuff.
[edit] Step 2: Pick Up lines
Needed to break the ice
The Golden Rule
When making up pick up lines don't act crazy
[edit] Bad:
- Your place or my mental hospital?
- Is heaven missing an angle, cause I think it's in my head telling me to kill you...
- Wow I'm Thristy, can I milk you...
- So, you're a girl huh? Oh really cause thought you were a man!
- If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together and maybe your sister.
- Baby, you're so sweet, I'll eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
- I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away, And if you stay near me and I get a knife I might just take away your breath!
[edit] Step 3: Dating and Communications
You may think spaming her Email-In-Box with pictures of animals mating will make her feel warm and fuzzy and loved, but your wrong.
[edit] Step 4:Meeting The Parents
This is it...Hell on earth...For this nerve racking exprience you will need:
