User:TheLedBalloon

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    my anti-drug


Nominated Writer of the Year
This user has been nominated for Writer of the Year—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite user at Uncyclopedia:Writer of the Year.
Nominated Uncyclopedian of the Year
This user has been nominated for Uncyclopedian of the Year—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite user at Uncyclopedia:Uncyclopedian of the Year.
Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your ban. Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.
Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your ban. Goodbye, Mr. Anderson.

Contents

UnBios: The Led Balloon Story.

(I like to call it a "loserpage")

If I've ever deleted your page, just remember, it hurts me more than it hurts you.
If I've ever deleted your page, just remember, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

Ok, time to write my story. Once, a long time ago upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, there was a time, many years ago, once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away. Unfortunately, most people don't really remember what went on then, not having been born at the aforementioned time, or within reasonable walking distance of the aforementioned galaxy.

As such, I'll write about a much more recent time, specifically April of 2007, when I found this crazy site. Naturally, I took to writing here like a fish to hydrochloric acid, and my earlier works reflect this. Luckily, after a bunch of reading, I improved my writings, rantings, and ravings to an almost passable level, a lifetime achievement which I have yet to top. So, now I've got a bunch of features and awards, and I also do some adminning as well. And that's pretty much where I am right now, as I write this, so it'll probably be outdated by the time you read it. So, please keep in mind, dear reader, that this text is almost definitely outdated. I could be in jail or dead right now, and you'd have no idea. Even I have no idea. But hey, that's life.

...Yeah, that about sums it up. If you wanna really talk to me, (although I'm not sure why you would) you can come on the IRC Channel, and I may or may not be around.

No, I'm serious, I actually look like this. I'm 2D with a lightsaber and everything.
No, I'm serious, I actually look like this. I'm 2D with a lightsaber and everything.

Political Views

Anyone who goes around bragging about their political views on their wiki userpage is a pretentious douche.

FAQ

...none, really.

Message of the day*

*Message of the day not updated daily

Lotsa lotsa hockey...

And I write all this like there's someone who cares....

Will I ever stop being such an ass?

I suppose it's a possibility...
I suppose it's a possibility...










Quotes

GUN.png
Grand Cross of the Order
This user is an administrator, which explains his/her exceptionally high stress levels.
This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

\m/ This user is a metalhead, prone to wearing offensive shirts and headbanging to really loud music. Metalheads also have long hair, but are not to be confused with hippies.
NO This user doesn't care.
This user gots a shuvel. Yes he/she does.
MEH This user redefines lazy.
Formerly lost among the dregs of obscurity, this User has defected and crossed over from the dark side. Welcome to the machine....
This user is a pyromaniac.


THIS USER IS ADDICTED TO COWBELL, AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS.
This user hates you and everyone you care about.

User goodthink U.W.P member.
Helper of needy, destroyer of ungood.

This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.
This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.
This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

This user should not be trusted.
This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.
Z This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.


3 This user rewrote 3 pages for Conservation Week 2008, because s/he cares. How many have you rewritten, huh?

This user is a member of the Reviewing Committee, because they are self opinionated knowitalls.

Tpt This user plays trumpet, because he enjoys being the loudest.
This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Fire Department.

This user can be found on the Uncyclopedia Frappr Map.


54 This user has written 54 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?

TheLedBalloon is an UnTunes contributor. Hearing protection should always be worn within fifty yards of them.
This user is from Norwell, Massachusetts. In other words, they have an army of whores to vote for their articles!
This user is NOT Thinkerer

As such, they are not entitled to any of the royalties that being Thinkerer entails, nor do they claim a level of awesomeness equal to, or any higher than, Thinkerer.

This user thinks that
Mr winkler is GAY, 'cos he gave them an F.

This user has been
blocked 17 times.
50px-8-cell.gif This user edits Hypercube and knows that there are exactly 962884857 rooms.


This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
 1 year, 9 months and 6 days.




  • ...That's what I love about Preschoolers. I keep getting older, but they always stay the same age.
~ TheLedBalloon on Little children
  • Indifference is not an emotion. It's a skill, learned over time.
~ TheLedBalloon on How I learned to stop caring
  • I like this website. Way, way too much.
~ TheLedBalloon on Uncyclopedia
  • TheLedBalloon doesn't appreciate it when other users add quotes to his page
~ Ljlego on Irony
Also: Whichever quote magically appears below:
  • Children are the most common form of sexually transmitted disease.
~ TheLedBalloon on the mysteries of life
To see more, go to Template:Fortune

Video of the <TIME INCREMENT>

Articles

Articles I have spawned or stolen "borrowed" and made "better."

  1. Baby-snatching my 1st page (not very good...)
  2. Pen Island my 2nd page (not very good...)
  3. Papercupism my 3rd page (I think it's ok, but meh.)
  4. Phrases spoken before death List I helped to fix up.
  5. Pae Do (Rewrite)
  6. UnNews:Florida flooded by global warming, Sea World ironically left above water -- FEATURED!
  7. UnNews:Russia's communist resistance sends bear army to retake Romania, four US tourists left dead Famine's idea and about half his text, but partially mine as well.
  8. UnNews:Host of NBC's "To Catch a Predator" arrested for attempted rape of a minor
  9. 667:Neighbor of The Beast -- FEATURED!
  10. Volcano (Another rewrite) -- FEATURED!
  11. HowTo:Become a wise old man My first "HowTo"
  12. UnNews:Lisa Simpson a suspect in bizarre double-homicide (Not very good)
  13. UnNews:Hitting children found to have positive effects on brain development -- FEATURED, PLS WINNER!!
  14. Russian Roulette -- PLS WINNER!!
  15. Independence Day -- PLS contender
  16. This page does NOT exist -- PLS entry
  17. UnNews:Defenseless Hummer viciously attacked by Eco-Nazis -- FEATURED!
  18. HowTo:Check for Lumps -- FEATURED!
  19. UnPoetia:Ode to Russian Reversal -- Will almost certainly be deleted
  20. UnTunes:Won't Get Banned Again -- Music by the Who, words by Leoispotter and I, singing by me, and recording/editing help by The UnIdiot.
  21. UnNews:Original Van Halen lineup to begin touring, fighting again -- Quasi-Featured.
  22. UnBooks:The Castaway -- FEATURED!
  23. Walls -- FEATURED!
  24. Star Wars -- Rewritten originally for the Rewrite-a-thon -- FEATURED!
  25. Your Mom -- Also rewritten for the Rewrite-a-thon
  26. Why?:Nuke the whales -- FEATURED! -- I found this trolling Newpages, helped it out, fixed it up, and added a lot. A good portion of the text comes from User:Roboriath, however, so props to him/her.
  27. UnNews:Bin Laden releases new video, America responds with indifference -- FEATURED!
  28. UnNews:Man sues God; is smited
  29. Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A -- FEATURED!
  30. Camp Lazlo -- User:Ineedaname asked me on my talk page to help out with this, so I did. Ain't I nice?
  31. Heat death of the universe -- Collaboration with Cajek -- FEATURED!
  32. UnBooks:Science Fair -- FEATURED!
  33. UnBooks:Honest Jim's Miracle Tonic -- FEATURED!
  34. UnNews:Massachusetts school's winter break renamed to please all religions -- FEATURED!
  35. UnNews:Strange "white stuff" falls from sky, America baffled -- FEATURED!
  36. UnNews:2008 election race continues
  37. Fourth Wall -- I had a great idea for an article about this, when I found out that it already existed. But it was really short, so I expanded it. -- FEATURED!
  38. Pyromaniac -- Same as above. -- FEATURED!
  39. Iron Maiden -- FEATURED!
  40. Conservapedia -- Rewrite achieved with Modus and Ljlego, FEATURED!
  41. Lake Spooky -- Rewrite of a VFD'd page for UN:CW, FEATURED!
  42. UnTunes:Artsy and Misunderstood: A Bedroom Emo Song -- I think people read too much into this...it's kinda an emo joke, but at heart it's just a horrible, horrible piece of music.
  43. UnBooks:Hospital -- I originally wrote this for a school magazine, but after it was published I uploaded it here and have been working on it.
  44. UnNews:PBS facing lawsuit after The Count's televised drunken profanity -- FEATURED!
  45. Why?:Blame Hitler -- Collab with SysRq, FEATURED!
  46. Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia -- Written solely to make fun of this
  47. UnNews:Scientists devote massive funds for cancer research to production of an 'orgasmatron' -- Collab with The UnIdiot, FEATURED
  48. Unquotable:Keanu Reeves -- I've been helping out UnIdiot with this for a while, now.
  49. UnTunes:Johnny Feelgood and the Latex Minions LIVE at the Big Corporate Superdome
  50. UnNews:The newsless streak is over; suck it Uncyclopedia - I call this an "event article," because it was written solely for this event.
  51. Physics Act of 1707 -- PLS Entry, FEATURED!
  52. Everything is great -- FEATURED!
  53. Lewd Acts of the Apostles -- Collab with Mhaille and Prettiestpretty, FEATURED!
  54. Why?:So Serious? -- Collab with Thekillerfroggy
  55. HowTo:Hotwire a car -- FEATURED!
  56. HowTo:Rob A Bank With Your Penis -- ICU'd page made great during an IRC session with RAHB and Dr. Skullthumper, FEATURED!

At this point, you may be thinking, "how does he have all those features?" Unless, of course, you're Mhaille or Ljlego or something, in which case you may be thinking "who does this fucker think he is? I have twice as many FAs as him, and now he's made an ass of himself talking like this!" But, yes, how did I get featured pages? It's not that hard, just do this:

  • 1)Read HTBFANJS
  • 2)Repeat step 1. Over and over and over and over and over and over again until you can recite it without looking. HTBFANJS, I mean. Not step 1.
  • 3)Write page, preferably one that uses the techniques learned over and over via HTBFANJS.
  • 4)SN and whore on irc.
  • 5)????
  • 6)Profit!!

Project Pages

May or may not contain material you've never seen before. May or may not contain material.

Images

Pictures I added and dig. OK, only three, but still!

MS Paint for life!!

Audios

Awards




...Look at me, I've got awards!!! I'M A BIG MAN!!!!!
See also: My full awards page

Obligatory non-sequitors





What, you no rike my userpage? I sho showwy! Will you forgive me? Cause I rearry rearry showwy.
What, you no rike my userpage? I sho showwy! Will you forgive me? Cause I rearry rearry showwy.
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