User:The UnIdiot/archive2

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Contents 1 user:AE/HowTo:Escape Prison 2 UNLIMITED POWER 3 Hi, It's that guy you adopted 4 Why, hello, sir! 5 My Article... 6 Whore World 7 UnNews 8 I would like to be a KUN 9 Merry Xmas! 10 Have a not-shitty Christmas! 11 Excuse me 12 One Of These 13 Holidays Aplenty 14 Mainspace? 15 Merry Christmas soon! 16 Merry Xmas 17 Thanks 18 Joyous victory for political correctness! 19 Merry Christmas. 20 Merry Xmas! 21 UnNews:Santa Claus arrested after being missing 22 UnNews...no UnNewses in particular...just UnNews in general. 23 Thanks 24 Hey 25 SPAM! 26 Greetings, Comrade 27 Would you consider doing an audio, Mister Moron? 28 Sorry I'm late 29 GTFO! 30 Thanks For Voting 31 The police have found Cajek, and he wants to thank you. 32 Thanks! 33 PLS Judging 34 Welcome to UnNews or Better Late Than Never 34.1 the important stuff about UnNews articles 35 Daddy! 36 THINKER Loves You 37 Frankly my dear... 38 EPIC FAIL! 39 GIANTS ARE TEH 1337!!! 40 Tanks 41 Let's never mention this again, eh? 42 UPotM 43 The Academy may not give a shit about Meloni but you do! 44 Thong'd! 45 Image for Lake Spooky 46 Ridiculously late thankings 47 New IM!

user:AE/HowTo:Escape Prison

Hello, I'm almost finished with this. Since you have adopted me, can you tell me if it's funny... better than the original article, could it be feature-worthy one day? Thankies--Æ 17:59, 26 November 2007 (UTC)

Ok, lets start. As of right now it's a solid funny article (not amazing mind you), but a solid article. The main thing it suffers from is meh formatting and strange wordings in some areas. It IS funny however. I would say, once the formatting and prose in some areas is fixed up, it would be just as good if not a bit better than the articles that inspired it. I would be doubtful it would pass VFH, mostly because the idea has been done several times before. Here is what I suggest you do...

1. Finish it up completely. 2. Read it out loud, and rewrite parts that don't sound right. 3. Fix the shoddy formatting in areas

If that was done it would be a very nice article, not featurable solely because the idea has been covered. However, if you worked on this a ton, and incorporated even more original ideas and humor, I could see this passing VFH. Overall, great first article! Keep this up, and I may toss you up on Noob of the Month next month. Remember, if you want a second opinion, you can submit it to Pee Review. Nice job! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 22:40, Nov 26

I sumbitted it to Pee Review. I'll finish it up as soon as possible and I'll try to think of more ideas though I'd rather have it be short and funny than be long and notfunny and I hope this will be featured down the road. Again, thanks!!--Æ 23:17, 26 November 2007 (UTC)

No problem! Remember, an article doesn't have to be featured to be good! With a bit of work, this will be a solid article! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 23:31, Nov 26

The only problem with submitting to Pee Review was Cajek (the reviewer) thought it was plagirasm of the current piss. I RV'd it though and explained to him it was actually a rewrite--Æ 23:15, 27 November 2007 (UTC)

Be careful calling it a rewrite. That would suggest you are replacing the other author's text with yours. Called it an "inspired writing" or something. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:21, Nov 28

Since I've worked on it a bit more and I want a 2nd opinion, what should I do? Should I resumbit to Pee Review and ask someone else to do a review... or get opinions on IRC???--Æ 18:44, 1 December 2007 (UTC)

Also, I am thinking about writing an UnNews tonight. Would you be willing to provide guidance??--Æ 20:03, 1 December 2007 (UTC)

I would resumbit it, and ask people to do the review for you on IRC. I could definatly help you with the UnNews tonight, as I'll be around. Leave a message with your IRC nick when you get it setup! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 21:35, Dec 1

First off, I'd like to know what website do you usually get your UnNews ideas from? For now, I'm using CNN, though there might be a better place for ideas. If so, I'd love to know.--Æ 21:47, 1 December 2007 (UTC)

Actually, every one of mine wasn't inspired from an actual news story. CNN is probably good, but I think I head somewhere instantnews.com is good? Not really sure, see if instantnews is any good. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 21:49, Dec 1

Instantnews.com. is a serch engine. It didn't work out for what I was looking for, so I'll stick with CNN.com. I was going to write about UK law makers meet Teddy Bear Teacher, but that concept was done already twice. And on a unrelated note, I forgot to tell you that I resubmited to Pee Review--Æ 21:55, 1 December 2007 (UTC)

Well good luck finding a concept! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 22:13, Dec 1

Also also, is IRC addictive? I was reading Cajek's talkpage, and I read it was addictive and caused you to write less. Is that the case with you? Okay, I'll write now. Also also also, is that article funny?--Æ 22:18, 1 December 2007 (UTC)

Nah irc isn't really addictive to me, I usually just use it to talk to RAHB or to whore stuff. I usually end up lurking. You'll probably not get addicted unless you are one of those people who get addicted to AIM or chatrooms and stuff. About that article. It has a neat concept, and could turn out good. Right now it is not particularly funny, but its not terrible. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 23:39, Dec 1

I worked on it for the last hour and it's a bit better now. I couldn't think of an UnNews, better luck tommorow. I might go on IRC tommorow.--Æ 01:01, 2 December 2007 (UTC)

UNLIMITED POWER

Thank you muchly For allowing me access to UNLIMITED power I shall now fulfill my destiny January 8 09:54 Mordillo (Talk) blocked Mordillo (Talk) (Infinite) (Clear off!).

~ 16:34, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

Hi, It's that guy you adopted

What d'ya think about my second article. Any suggestions?--Æ 00:05, 4 December 2007 (UTC)

Pretty good, but outside of the concept, it didn't really have any funny parts? I would add some jokes in along with the cool concept of a town called there. Still, good job! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:31, Dec 4

Why, hello, sir!

I must say, you look intelligent. Perhaps you'd like to partake in some of my Miracle Tonic? Guaranteed to cure what ails ya! Got a cold? Going bald? High mortgage rates? No problem for my miracle tonic!

	The Led Balloon has awarded you with a FREE* case of Honest Jim's patented Miracle Tonic.
	*Not actually free. Side effects may include just about any horrible diseases we can come up with.

Thanks again for voting(and in your case nominating), - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:03, Dec 4

My Article...

Hi, Mr UnIdiot!!! How's my new article? While it is nowhere near done, I devoted a lot of work on it today. Also, if you could think of a creative caption for the second picture, it would be much appreciated--Æ 00:31, 9 December 2007 (UTC)

I'll take a look at it when I get a chance! Which one is it again? - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:45, Dec 9

The one in the link--Æ 00:51, 9 December 2007 (UTC)

Oh wow, not sure how i missed that. I'll take a look at it! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:00, Dec 9

Hmm, very cool concept. It definatly needs more content, but otherwise pretty good. The joke will probably get tiresome though, try to add some others, with the not remembering joke the overall joke used repeatedly! Should turn out well! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:08, Dec 9

I still have a long ways to go. Much better than it's crappy original state. --Æ 01:51, 9 December 2007 (UTC)

Whore World

I think you should write an article about your home town. I think it could be a great article, ya'll great writers unlike vanity slanders and it could be a bit of an in-joke (with the whoring) as well. I think it would turn out to be a good article, what about you? --Æ 22:50, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Possibly, it would be fun. We would probably have to keep it in the userspace, but who knows? - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 22:53, Dec 10

If it's funny it could be in mainspace. It isn't vanity if it's a well written funny article, and towns aren't necessarily vanity--Æ 23:22, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

UnNews

Hi, now I'm finally writing an UnNews article (unlike last time). I just started, and have a long ways to go. Would you provide guidance to an unexperienced reporter? --Æ 22:32, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

Hmmm. Keep it fairly simple. Don't use a extremely complex concept and, and don't try to throw too much into the article. Get good images that add to the joke. Other that those things, you just might want to read HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article. Good luck! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 02:14, Dec 13

Thanks for the linkys--Æ 02:15, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

I would like to be a KUN

Hey dude, can I be a KUN to? DO I buy my way in? Is there a PayPal set up for it, or something? Do only admins get it? I see that award winners get CUN, but KUN is like way better, right?--MaddMax 01:25, 14 December 2007 (UTC)

Just so you know, UnIdiot isn't an admin. He's a FAILURE! YOU HEAR THAT??? YOU'RE A FAILURE!! A-hem. To learn of the ranks, check out the Order of Uncyclopedia. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:31, Dec 14

Thanks. Where do I join UNSOC? --MaddMax 01:32, 14 December 2007 (UTC)

Wow, I feel so useless. Tom Mayfair runs UNSOC. I'm not a member, but check out his page. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:34, Dec 14

Right on the UNSOC main page, I think. Or just ask Tom Mayfair -- He and Jocke Pirat mostly run the UNSOC stuff. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:36, Dec 14

Thanks for trying to restate what I said, it was a nice attempt, but I'm still cooler! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:39, Dec 14

Or at least you would be if you weren't such a FAILURE. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:42, Dec 14

Well at least I don't have 2 DADS - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:46, Dec 14

Well, they say 3 is better than 2, but come on now... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:59, Dec 14

Merry Xmas!

Bonner would like to wish you a Merry Christgame And a happy New Game P.S, You just lost the game (Bonner) (Talk)

Have a not-shitty Christmas!

	Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
	Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:16, Dec 17

	AE has awarded you a beer in which you help build your own Christmasbeerbottletree (shown right)
	Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

On a side note, I'm tired of politics invading Uncyclopedia. --Æ 01:33, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

Premier Tom Mayfair

Excuse me

Would you be interested in judging the "Best Noob Article" category for the upcoming PLS? If so, let me know via my talk page. Danke. -- [SIR] e|m|c ^[talk] 01:34, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

One Of These

	HEY LOSER! Here's another semi-personalized (that's a lie) Merry Christmas template to add to the overwhelming pile you've got building up on your talk page right now. Have a Merry Christmas, or I'll come over there and make you have a Merry Christmas.
	If you don't already have a pile of these building up, you're a hopeless loser that nobody on Uncyclopedia likes...sorry. Yours truly, RAHB

Happy Holidays, or some such. -RAHB 03:37, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

Holidays Aplenty

Good times are had by all. --UnTalented 03:05, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

Mainspace?

Hi, it's that guy you adopted. Although I'm not done yet, do you think I'm ready to move Alberto Gonzales into the mainspace? (worked on it some more, and now in mainspace, never mind) Also, could you develop a wittier caption for the "That one signer" in the "Preceded by:" section as I'm to lazy to do so myself. As I worked on it a lot more, do you have any suggestions for improvement? Thanks --Æ 16:28, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

Changed it! Other than that, I don't really know what else you could put there. Sorry! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 22:07, Dec 18

I changed it back to the original and moved the "I Don't Recall" to the "Succeeded by" section because of Ashcroft's musical career. Thanks anyways--Æ 22:11, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

Whatever, its fine. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 22:16, Dec 18

Merry Christmas soon!

Uncyclopedian wishes you have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year's!

Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Merry Xmas

--Why is there a redirect? How did I get here? I'm cold...Commander An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays TALK 21:07, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

In recognition of your vote for UnNews:Liberal insurrection heroically crushed, Grand Adjudicator UnTalented hereby awards you with the Insignia of the Federal Dominion. Display it proudly, for it is a symbol of your pact of eternal servitude to us.

Thanks for your vote! --UnTalented 21:41, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

Joyous victory for political correctness!

	The Led Balloon thanks you for keeping our school systems politically correct to the point of absurdity.
	But really, does anyone care?

Thanks for voting, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:29, Dec 23

Merry Christmas.

Also, I was away for about a year and nobody put the vacation marker on my page. Oh well. Back now, I guess.

Merry Xmas!

~ Merry Xmas The UnIdiot/archive2! ~ Ye Olde Luke

--YeOldeLuke 08:00, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

UnNews:Santa Claus arrested after being missing

Hey! How's my first UnNews? Like it? Suggestions? Can you record an audio for it? Also, thanks for giving me the links to writing an UnNews, they were a big help--Æ 17:19, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

Hey! I like the concept, but the grammar is very rough. I fixed some of it, but you really need to read it out loud and fix the bits that sound wrong to you. Also, I've noticed something you do is put 2 spaces after sentences. Just put 1. If you fix the grammar up, it will be a fairly nice unnews, and I'll record an audio of it for you! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 18:35, Dec 26

Is it better now with the spacing? Since the article is on Pee Review, should you wait to record then?--Æ 18:42, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

With the spacing fixed its better, but the grammar is still weird in spots. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 22:17, Dec 26

I put the Proofread Template on the article, so it should be fixed soon. Also, is there certain criteria an UnNews must meet to be a Lead Article?--Æ 22:23, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

Not really sure, to be honest, I think zim_ulator just picks the UnNews's he like for the lead UnNews spot. But the UnNews generally has to be pretty good to get the spot. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 17:53, Dec 27

I fixed the grammar a bit, and do you think it's fine now for an audio?--Æ 17:40, 30 December 2007 (UTC)

UnNews...no UnNewses in particular...just UnNews in general.

I can't think of anything else, why don't you look it over and then we'll stick it on Pee Review. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:57, Dec 30

Thanks

--Æ 00:33, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

Ok yea, congrats my Noob! You learned fast the ways of Uncyclopedia! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:42, Jan 1

Hey

Dig this. You start fixin', I'll help later. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:04, Jan 4

Hmmm, NO! Well, fine, I will later. - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 21:09, Jan 4

SPAM!

I just got unbanned and now I wanted to say howdy doodie to you!   (harass) (contributions) …·°º•ø®@» 01:48, 5 January 2008 (UTC)

Congrats! Nice to see you back! - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 01:49, Jan 5

Greetings, Comrade

You have proven yourself as a user worthy of joining this great user organization devoted to the protection and maintenance of uncyclopedia. If you decide to join, post your request for registration on UNSOC and register here. Thank you.-- Sir Unknown User ^{(Talk : Cont : VFH : PEE : CUN)} Jan 5 23:54

Would you consider doing an audio, Mister Moron?

I asked led a while back if he wanted to do an audio for Red light, and he said yes... and then flaked. Do you think that article lends itself to audio?   CAKE J! <-> Jan 12 (17:29)

Definitely In fact Led was over my house yesterday, and we attempted to do one. We ended up stopping when my mom came upstairs near my room, because yelling "shittyfucker" or whatever doesn't appeal to me with my mom around. But yes, I will end up doing it eventually. - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 21:58, Jan 12

Awesomeness! Finally! ...oh, that article has so much cussing in it.   CAKE J! <-> Jan 13 (01:10)

Sorry I'm late

Enjoy your late thankin'.

	The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.
	Beware the white stuff!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:13, Jan 14

GTFO!

SHOW ME YOUR TITS! Thanks for voting my tits to the front page. -Zana Dark

Thanks For Voting

GopherKiller has given you a free ticket to ride Superman Tower of Bloody Severed Legs for voting on UnNews:Six Flags to sell severed legs in gift shop.

Have Fun! Remember, avoid those rednecks at all costs. They want your legs.--GopherKiller Questions? Comments? 14:41, 20 January 2008 (UTC)

The police have found Cajek, and he wants to thank you.

That audio was pretty good! Thank you, Unidiot!   CAKE J! <-> Jan 21 (15:18)

Yeah, led did all the narrating stuff, I just did the recording and effects stuff. I thought it came out well. - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 16:54, Jan 21

Thanks!

CONGRATULATIONS! Your vote for Grass in the Mist II has earned you a romantic evening with Gizelda, this year's winner of Africa's "Sexiest blade of grass of the year" award!!! Enjoy yourself, and good luck figuring out how to have sex with a blade of grass!

Thanks for the vote, and curse you for having that link to the audio in your signature! That distracted me for a full 30 seconds! --THE 18:43, 25 January 2008 (UTC)

Ah yes, my "Theme Song" - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 19:50, Jan 25

PLS Judging

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, or if these rules are not cognizant within you.

Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! -- [SIR] e|m|c ^[talk] 23:28, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews or Better Late Than Never

On your knees! Rev. Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and recieve the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware.

the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, The UnIdiot/archive2, and thank you for contributing some crap, or something. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an UnNews articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and dispepsia.

Although I am an UnNews god cretin and an omnipotent admin, I am also humble, and realize that I make mistakes. I try to allow for some slack in others as well. If your article has been deleted or NRVd by me, it probably sucked, and in my opinion was not worth saving. Things which may protect you from my delete stick are;

1. Pics with captions
2. Links to other Uncyclopedia thingies, like this [[thingie]]
3. Pay attention to suggestions in the UnNews article template
5. Sources, fill in the info {{source|url= |title= |author= |pub= |date=Mmmmm DD, YYYY}}

if I see this "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY

instead of a properly formatted source, I may take it as a sign from the gods to delete the article

I've reproduced some other pertinent links below from Uncyclopedia:Community Portal which I recommend you peruse.

Discussion and Visitor Information

• Village Dump

General Discussion about Uncyclopedia, questions, comments.

• Uncyclopedia:Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian

If you're new read this or you might be huffed.

• Help Portal and All About Uncyclopedia

Information for new visitors to the site.

• Vanity Policies

We don't care how awesome you or your buddies are.

• How To Get Started Editing Uncyclopedia

Some helpful tips.

• List of Admins
• Mediawiki Formatting Guide

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:54, 29 January 2008 (UTC)

Hmm... You seem to have missed my archive. I've been welcomed to the UnNews world before. - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 01:04, Jan 29

Daddy!

Even though I moved out of your house, I still need to borrow some money from ya (translation, vote).--Æ 01:31, 1 February 2008 (UTC)

WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE! I'll take a look. - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 01:36, Feb 1

THINKER Loves You

UnIdiot. Certainly a fitting title; you are not an idiot. Your vote for THINKER makes it so! and that other stuff you do too..

Anyway, thank you for your support in the Writer of the Year competition. I'm glad you flipped through the old scrap book/article list and found some stuff that made you laugh. So, from the bottom of my polka-dot tie-wearing heart, I say thanks be to you, from myself. --THINKER 06:50, 2 February 2008 (UTC)

Frankly my dear...

Hugs, Dame GUN WotM 2xPotM VFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 22:01, 2 February 2008 (UTC)

EPIC FAIL!

	All Praise and Glory Be Yours!
	You have been emphatically thanked for voting for EPIC FAIL! on VFH.
	Due to the nature of the article, your thanks
	template has been stolen from the template
	that tells people a user has been infinibanned.
	EPIC FAIL!

~Fag x FS

GIANTS ARE TEH 1337!!!

Aww what a sad day it will be for all of norwell, when your precious patriots get killzord by the giants. Soo sad...lol-- Sir Unknown User ^{(Talk : Cont : VFH : PEE : CUN)} Feb 4 03:04

I was rooting for the Giants. I just don't care! - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 20:15, Feb 4

Tanks

Let's never mention this again, eh?

-- [SIR] e|m|c ^[talk] 20:45, 10 February 2008 (UTC)

UPotM

Long forgotten.

The Non-Official User Page of the Month Award Presented By His Holiness The Dali Llama December 2007

Premier Tom Mayfair

The Academy may not give a shit about Meloni but you do!

Chris doesn't have a fancy graphic for you, but we hope you still a ceept this as thanks for making his dream come true! Thank you again for helping get Why?:Does Christopher Meloni not have an emmy yet? featured!--Dr. Fenwick 18:16, 20 February 2008 (UTC)

Thong'd!

Olipro presents you with this Brutal-looking manthong (which he is no longer wearing) Thanks for voting for UnNews:Olipro is wearing a thong, offers $10,000 to anyone who can guess what color it is over at that crazy VFH thing.

~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 03:38 Mar 2

Image for Lake Spooky

Hey, I was wondering, could you 'chop me a picture of a smart-looking guy so that he's a zombie? You could possibly start with this... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:35, Mar 21

Ridiculously late thankings