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“The HORROR . The Payne”

~ Innocent Movie viewer on A film "starring" Bruce Payne

“A B class actor ? No way, Ehh Silvia, what comes after the letter Z in the alphabet ?”

~ Bollywood producer on Bruce Paynes level of competence"

“NO , Somebody with talent, or two talents prefurably”

~ Porn director on Considering mild usage of Bruce Paynes Acting skills for project "Up the shitter"

[edit] Bruce Payne

A well know thespian, shakespearian actor, follower of the school of Method acting, Screenplay writer, Inprovisation expert , skilled characature to play any part, Director, producer, Praised filmographer, script editor , famed dancer and chorographer, Multifunctional stage performer, broadway veteran Once said about B class actor Bruce Payne : " Is he in any way related to Max Payne ? ".

Mostly after finding out that Max and Bruce are, in fact, not related at all people rejoice for there sence of right in the world has been restored. For Max Payne is a successfull, skilled, famous rich individual whereas Bruce Payne is relatively unknows by name, without serious skill or succes and probably lives in the next best thing next to a cardboard box.

The only part where Bruce Payne seems to have the upper hand, is the simple and almost trivial fact that Max payne is NOT REAL and Bruce Payne is. Well Ladi da da, Congrats Bruce , so you are real. Do you know how many people wish you where not and wished that Max Payne was ?. Ow you do ?. Well, sorry for you .

[edit] Notable characters

or nausiating, depends on the way you look at it ( as in television or theatre )

[edit] Damodar

The worst interpretation of the worst roll in the most godawful movie ever. The extent of Damodars vocabulary not only limited due to terrible playwriting but also by the skill, or lack thereof, sported by the subject at hand. Not even Jeromy Irons could have saved this movie thanks to the horror that is Bruce Payne ( and Justin Whalin ).

Notable quotes

• ( Turns head slowly to the right ) .. Kill themmm.. ( Spoken in semi menacing tone )
• ( Turns head slowly to the left ) .. Kill themmmmm.. ( brought forth in treatening voice )
• ( Twists neck slowly to the right ) .. GET HIMmmm!!!.. ( uttered in forcefully lowered pitch )
• ( Engages in low velocity head turning to any side ) .. Bring it to meéééé.. ( Dark voice, probably digitally lowered )

[edit] Accomplishments ( Using the term loosely )

• Playing Damodar TWICE !.
• Loosing from Westly Snipes.
• Loosing from the Highlanders.
• Lose out to the queer kid from superman.