User:Vosnul/SCO totaly closed linux

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Totally closed linux claims that it tries to close a long persisting gap within the linux community. for all the ideals,morals, ethics and righteousness that tend to guide most linux and , for that matter, FOSS developers there is a large group of users and developers that are not represented at all. I has even been suggested that this group is by far the largest within the software user and developer world. These are the total ethically challenge fucking bastards that just do not care about nuffin. For these people, who don't give a shit about licenses this linux distribution has been created.

[edit] Overview

Totally closed linux basically is a copy of slackware. all though some have suggested that it has no real features or additions of it's own, careful examination clearly reveals some differences. What makes TCL so different from slackware or any other distro for that matter is :

Removal from all source code.
inclusion of GPL violating EULA and Patent lists.
Removal of ALL copies of the GPL and BSD license.
Obfuscation and removal of credits and copyright notices.
supplied various proprietary software modules and applications.
Sells for $699 per CPU.

The target audience for Totally Closed Linux are basically 90% of all Pjuter Users aged 16 to 35 who, as Windows XP install base per soled box or OEM licence shows, Pirated nearly all of there software. That's right folks, People do not talk the talk but surely walk the walk. 9 out of 10 people will read this article using a pirated version of windows. 12 out of 15 pictures on this wiki will be edited or created with a pirated copy of photo-shop. This knowledge about how the expensive is desired by pirates the SCO team set to work on a piece of software even more demoralizing and degrading then Windows XP SP 2 has been for a miserable 3 years. Break the Eula before you can seems to be the motto.

[edit] history

After losing the war on unix and having to pay a gazillion bucks to IBm, NOVELL, REDHAT, DAIMLER, AUTOZONE, 4500 lawers and the paper cleanup bills the upper management of SCO found themselfs without Work, A home, clean underwear and no bucket to shit in. Fortunatly Darl McBride was never big on ethics and pulled the team out of the slumps by selling lower employees to the organ donor mafia. After Selling of all the helpdesk personel who, if they survived, can live perfectly with 1 kidney and half a liver, Enough money was earned to pay for new accomodations under one of the bigger more prestiges innerstate highway viaducts. Here Darl and Chris Sontag came up with there horrible revenge on those long haired hippy communist FOSS programmers. The plan was as follows .

1. Create a new software community
2. Introduce new software
3. Go bankrupt again
4. keep supporting the community
5. violate the GPL in the most terrible way

[edit] Controversy and legal action

Since it's introduction several legal threats have been made by various GPL friendly companies including Redhat, Mandriva and Eben Moglen. Most of these issues revolved around the GPL and the obvious violations that are present in totally closed linux. The reaction from the TCL community in these cases are as extreme as the distobution itself seems to be :

Bite me, asshat linux.
Sue me ? for what ? sue who ? fuck off.
GPL ??? that unconstitutional piece of crapola.
I shit on your right to have MY sourcecode.
No YOU infringe on MY property, NO YOU infringe on MY property, NO YOU infringe on MY property
BLAAAABLAAAA can lala not lililoo hear lala you lAAA la la la la hi hi hiiiiiiiiii lalala.

At one point redhat actually sued TCL for 1 billion dollars and won without question. The unusual thing was that :

No representative nor lawyer from TCL was present the entire time.
It seemed the TCL people had no money in the first place
Nobody cared.
TCL people called the judge telling him to stuff the cease and disist letters

Nothing could be done, Open source ethics could be enforced all they wanted, TCL just didn't fucking care.

[edit] Eula

The most amazing part of the distribution must be the Eula that, whilst breaking the GPL just by existing, seems to be designed just to do that , and more.

[edit] TCL end (l)user Lickme Agreement

This software is provided AS-IS, We are not responsible if you hardware,house,family or any other piece of property get burned,blowup, washed away, shot,stabbed,fistfucked or receives any other notably damaging of insulting treatment. The content of this software belongs to US, not to you, your neighbour or the people who actually wrote it. We claim the right to all it's source, binary and files and results that are extracted from the software using this distribution or any other distribution that includes any piece of binary or text that is also includes within OUR software distribution, This includes any program using OUR applications , that we own, like, Linux Kernel, Apache, EMACS, VI, KDE, GNOME, SAMBA, anything digital, anything binary and anything that has letters on it. Any or all websites CD's and other media that were in the past,present or will be used in the future to host any piece of data even remotely affiliated with any package that , even by sheer coincidence, seems to be includes in out distribution automatically defaults to being owned by US.

You may NOT, Reverse engineer this software, You may not spread it, you may install it once and only on a machine older then 2 years. You may not run this software on AMD chips and ATI graphic cards. You may not see the source code. You are not allowed to ask for the source code, where it is, why you can't see it or use it. It is even stricly forbidden to think about contemplating to consider even one of these questions. Failure to do so gives us the right to sue the pants of of you and sleep with your wife.

You may also not read this eula, Reading this eula results in US being able to sue you for whatever reason. We now own your house car and first born. Other later born children will be sold to cover our intellectual property damages inflicted by you upon us for which you will be punished severely.

Reading this line of the eula for even 10% will make it your duty to pay us 699$ + Tax for every day of your life. Failure to do so will result in a suit that will prove that you stole our software and turned it into communistic open source clutter that is hurting our economy.

Not using our software is considered treason and is punishable by suit. Forgoing the right to exercise your duty to use our distribution and life by our eula like it it the fucking bible, or at least some buddhist mantra, will be dealt with severely. Not knowing about our software is a IP crime and Monopolistic offense that will be reported to the DOJ as soon as we figure out who all of you people are.