From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

WARNING!

In the event you are a n00b, I am NOT an actual admin, you moron. Click Here to contact one.

Contents 1 Why I Joined UNSOC 2 Comments Begin Below This Line 2.1 Thanks! 2.2 RED RED RED 2.3 Welcome to UnNews 2.3.1 the important stuff about UnNews articles 2.3.2 Hooray! 2.4 For the love of Dawn 2.5 Ooh 2.6 Thank you for your vote, and sorry I edited your page so much 2.7 Collaboration? 2.8 Hey, thanks for voting for Cancer 2.9 You bad man! 2.10 Army of Banjo2e 2.11 Thanks and, uh, stuff 2.12 Something relating to Illogicopedia... 2.13 *STAR WARS theme plays...* 2.14 so i herd u liek plai nexuswhar 2.15 n00bs of war 2.16 Have a not-shitty Christmas! 2.17 Merry Xmas! 2.18 Poke 2.19 Dude, it's me 2.20 This guy is my hero. 2.21 Judge Dredd Approves

[edit] Why I Joined UNSOC

Welcome To Uncyclopedia* Hello, Administrator, and welcome to Uncyclopedia *! Thank you for registration & your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. Please take this time to read some of our help guides provided below. Beginner's Guide How to be funny and not just stupid If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia* or need more help with something, try these: Join the Revolution with UNSOC About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia* How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia* Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask an Administrator, chat with users on the IRC, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! Sincerely, -- Premier Tom Mayfair * ☭ This Is NOT A Communist Website. However, The User That Has Welcomed You Is A Communist. Workers Of The World Unite! ☭

[edit] Comments Begin Below This Line

Specifically, right at the bottom of the page. That means press the plus symbol. No adding to the top, ya n00bs.

[edit] Thanks!

Thanks for voting for right arrow! You deserve this crappy template! -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 02:34, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] RED RED RED

Thank you, Admin! --  CAKE J! <-> 03:09, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Welcome to UnNews

On your knees! Rev. Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and recieve the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware.

[edit] the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, Administrator, and thank you for contributing some crap, or something. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an UnNews articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and dispepsia.

Although I am an UnNews god cretin and an omnipotent admin, I am also humble, and realize that I make mistakes. I try to allow for some slack in others as well. If your article has been deleted or NRVd by me, it probably sucked, and in my opinion was not worth saving. Things which may protect you from my delete stick are;

1. Pics with captions
2. Links to other Uncyclopedia thingies, like this [[thingie]]
3. Pay attention to suggestions in the UnNews article template
5. Sources, fill in the info {{source|url= |title= |author= |pub= |date=Mmmmm DD, YYYY}}

if I see this "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY

instead of a properly formatted source, I may take it as a sign from the gods to delete the article

I've reproduced some other pertinent links below from Uncyclopedia:Community Portal which I recommend you peruse.

Discussion and Visitor Information

• Village Dump

General Discussion about Uncyclopedia, questions, comments.

• Uncyclopedia:Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian

If you're new read this or you might be huffed.

• Help Portal and All About Uncyclopedia

Information for new visitors to the site.

• Vanity Policies

We don't care how awesome you or your buddies are.

• How To Get Started Editing Uncyclopedia

Some helpful tips.

• List of Admins
• Mediawiki Formatting Guide

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 23:57, 24 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Hooray!

Zimulator just gave me an award! I must be moving up in the world! --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 02:17, 25 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] For the love of Dawn

Don't use this template! It is a good idea to create a "non signed posts" template but not under Pokemon theme! This will just make sure to kill the template soonish, instead of promoting this idea. I suggest you think about a different theme....~ 16:27, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

OK. But I'm keeping the image, if at all possible. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 16:30, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

Take a look at it now, I played with it a little. ~ 16:46, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

Ah well. I liked the old pic, but the new one is also good. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 16:48, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

Feel free to revert, I just think that the Pokemon theme doesn't work well with the majority of the people here, and also it doesn't really connect to the tilde issue. It's a good idea anyhow...~ 16:50, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

No, the new image is great. I just liked the old one too. About equally. You are certainly right. People have issues with Pokemon here, which sucks. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 16:52, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Ooh

Ohh, take my entire article, I just wanted to make a new one for revival. Looks like you beat me! Yup, urs is way better, I barely even know who Dawn is, I just make fun of her, like with that very old General Grievous engagement thing. I think you should take my stalker thing, I think that'll be good, but all of the stalkers should have things in common, like Davy Jones and General Grievous are ugly, evil stalkers of Dawn. There! Not like um... Mario and George Dubya Bush stalk I dunno, Stewie Griffin. WTF do Mario, George Dubya, and Stewie have in common. Anyways take my article, get it Pee Reviewed two or more times, and BAM! We'd have done it, revived one article, but I'm not sure if ur going to revive more, I am. P.S. Did ur house get hit by Mischief Night? Just Kidding! --

Ineedaname 19:18, 30 October 2007 (UTC)

Uh...no. I'm using my version for the time being. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 23:36, 30 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thank you for your vote, and sorry I edited your page so much

Hey Banjo (right?), In exchange for voting yes and for me violating Dawn, would you care to review a new article of mine? --  CAKE J! <-> 13:14, 31 October 2007 (UTC)

Actually, your edits are awesome. Continue, by all means. I actually was under writer's block, as at the time you started editing it was still not good enough to place back into mainspace. When you're done, though, it may actually be worthy. Also, I'm not worthy to pee review your articles. They're too good, and I have no idea how to help you improve on them. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 15:46, 31 October 2007 (UTC)

That's very cool that you're so honest (and that you understand the nature of pee reviews)! Anyways, take a look at the article, and post your reaction on your talk page, here. I wouldn't mind any kind of feedback, even just a short reaction. --  CAKE J! <-> 15:59, 31 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Collaboration?

I just worked on a collab with my adopter and now it's up on vfh 1 day later. Let's me and you work on an article idea I'm having. Something like Why?:Don't Eat People (as opposed to your Why?:Eat People, just because my idea actually has more stuff we could write about, and it's unexpected). Would you... take my hand? --  CAKE J! <-> 01:00, 4 November 2007 (UTC)

*ignores creepy part* Sure, I'll help. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 17:29, 4 November 2007 (UTC)

whoops, already written. However, please please review it? As for Gradius, it's pretty bad and there are other opinions out there. Some people love my hideous article hard to read, some despise it. Anyways, review? And go in depth. --  CAKE J! <-> 17:44, 4 November 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Hey, thanks for voting for Cancer

Aaawww... Administrator has been diagnosed with cancer. arm cancer. Yeah. Incurable.

Have a weird little user template! --  CAKE J! <-> 22:28, 9 November 2007 (UTC)

[edit] You bad man!

Bad, bad man. Don't do this again. Editing the comments of others can only lead to an Orwellian nightmare of nightmarian Orwellan...something bad. Sir Modusoperandi 03:36, 13 November 2007 (UTC)

*checks history* Oh crap. Sorry, I thought someone had edited One-eyed Jack's post after I was done with replying to it. Won't happen again.* --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 03:42, 13 November 2007 (UTC)

*Unless I fail to check the history again.

Well okay, then. Just remember that I've got my eye on you, mister...guy! Sir Modusoperandi 03:46, 13 November 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Army of Banjo2e

How can I join the Army of Banjo2e? I've finally worked up the courage to enlist, and now the recruiting page seems to be deleted! --YeOldeLuke 00:51, 14 November 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, gimme a sec... OK, the links are fixified now. Or they will be shortly, if they aren't. *Edit: That line was a lie.* --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 03:12, 14 November 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks and, uh, stuff

Ta muchly! Under User would like to present you with a chandelier by way of thanks for voting for his hat-trick highlight article, HowTo:Fuck Off. It isn't tasteful or stylish, is in no way understated (unless you happen to live in a palace) and so forth, but it has a long chain, sturdy hand holds, and swings well, and will be an invaluable aid to fucking off stylishly in future. Place it carefully!

Ah, 'tis you of the misleading username. Well, I bestow gratitude on you.

You have been thanked, and now (with weary predictability) I must fuck off! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 23:40, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Something relating to Illogicopedia...

This has to do with that article you tried to write about Gradius. Should we ask a real administrator for help moving the article to Illogicopedia? It is probably going to need to be temporarily undeleted to User:Administrator/Gradius while we work on it. I feel that Illogicopedia would greatly benefit from such an article. Pentium5dot1 20:15, 25 November 2007 (UTC)

I'm going to take this matter to the Village Dump. Pentium5dot1 05:33, 26 November 2007 (UTC)

[edit] *STAR WARS theme plays...*

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... It is a period of Galactic unrest. Star Wars was nominated for VFH, but nearly failed, thanks to the efforts of the evil lord Darth Vader. However, during the nomination, Princess Prince TheLedBalloon managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR. Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, he races home aboard his starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save his people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

I can't believe it finally got featured, either. Thanks for voting!

Thanks again for voting, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:58, Dec 7

[edit] so i herd u liek plai nexuswhar

Yeah. I saw your character while I was walking around.

We have run a nexus war faction. unless that Banjo2E dude isn't you. Cheerio! --Asema 06:48, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Sorry, but I already joined another faction. However, my second character WILL be in the Uncyclopedia faction. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 13:51, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] n00bs of war

Kindly Sir, I need the backing of an admin, or fail that, someone who looks like an admin. Please support the cause!

Sincerely, --Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 23:24, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

He's being a dirty whore who is launching sneer attacks towards a completley innocent user. Don't feed the whores, and vote for the candidate who is less of a whore--Æ 23:32, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

If they were such lies, then why didn't he bring any breasts for show & tell? I stand by my claims. save Uncyclopedia! Vote for me! --Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 23:49, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Stop the wh0ring, vote ME!!! --Æ 00:22, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

Hi folks! I'm a real admin! This is just ridiculous! Whoring has caused site-splitting drama in the past, so if I see this escalate any further, I won't hesitate to ban both of you for any time up to a whole week. Cheers! --Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 02:52, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Have a not-shitty Christmas!

	Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
	Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:30, Dec 17

[edit] Merry Xmas!

~ Merry Xmas Administrator! ~ Ye Olde Luke

--YeOldeLuke 08:00, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Poke

Just going around stabbing poking all the people who have idled out on Nexus War, hopefully trying to coax them back into becoming active. So...

POKE
(Bonner) (Talk) Jan 17, 13:52

[edit] Dude, it's me

Welcome back, although I don't think we actually talked or anything!   CAKE J! <May 02, 2008 [2:12]>

Duuuuude! --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 13:18, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

...Dude.   CAKE J! <May 02, 2008 [13:21]>

Yea, dude? --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 13:25, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

Dude, I was just thinkin' n' wonderin' what stuffs you got goin' on in Uncyc right now?   CAKE J! <May 02, 2008 [14:42]>

Well, I kinda just got back, so it'll take a while to get everything warmed up, dude. But it'll be sweeeeeet, dude. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 20:32, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] This guy is my hero.

You are definitely the most hellafuckin balls-to-the-wall awesomest user except for all the admins. Moar 17:53, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Thank you. --SPY Administrator (Complain|I rock|LOL whores) HMRFRA WH 23:49, 26 July 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Judge Dredd Approves

'You are the Law' Judge Dredd 17:58, 28 July 2008 (UTC)