User talk:Contestant

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Contents 1 Welcome! 2 Loved the article you created 3 F@H 4 The Real People's Champion is Here! 5 because you deserve it 6 religion follies 7 You suck 8 Congratulations on becoming n00b of the month! 9 My Comrade 10 Thank you 11 evil audios 12 Welcome to UnNews 12.1 the important stuff about UnNews articles 13 Thanks for the audio! 14 Get back on IRC! 15 Wa-hey! Free Food! 16 Haha 17 Thanks from UnNews latest blabber mouth 18 Johnson family audio 19 Hey 20 Oh shit! I've gone all topical! 21 UotM 22 "Sucks"? 23 Fun with n00bs 24 Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:TheLedBalloon/UnNews 25 Have a not-shitty Christmas! 26 Bloody Pagans 27 Yet another christmas template, but with more penis! 28 Et toi 29 It's that time of year again! 30 Merry Xmas! 31 Merry Christmas soon! 32 Christmas cuteness 33 There, Iowa 34 Merry holiday celebration thing... 35 Pee review 36 Joyous victory for political correctness! 37 Merry Christmas 38 Thanks 39 Why?:Take Your Fish To Work 40 Thx, can you give suggestions on another new article 41 Thanks 42 Join Unsoc 43 Sorry I'm late 44 PLS Judging 45 Let's never mention this again, eh?

[edit] Welcome!

Hello, Contestant, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

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• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! 

[edit] Loved the article you created

For that, you deserve an award.

--General Insineratehymn 14:49, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

Aye, you might want to check Talk:HowTo:Start a Religion for added praise. —Braydie 15:02, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

[edit] F@H

And have a point keepin' userbox. Premier Tom Mayfair 19:31, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

[edit] The Real People's Champion is Here!

Prepare to face my wrath. Nobody gets in my way and lives to tell about it. Big Boss 0 02:27, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

Lovely! I've never had a 12-year-old throw down a cyberthreat before. Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 02:28, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

Aw, you got permanently banned before you could do anything. Such a shame. ...No, it's not a shame. Sorry. Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 02:43, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

[edit] because you deserve it

User:UNKNOWNFILE has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

For helping me ward off a general annoyance that follows me everywhere. --» >UF|TLK|▋» 03:12, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

[edit] religion follies

I'm really enjoying your HowTo. It's Brilliant, and you beat me to the punch, I'd always thought this particular HowTo needed to be written. I hope you don't mind my self-serving additions... cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 14:28, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

On your knees! Rev. Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and recieve the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware.

I'll get in on this HowTo:Start a Religion love. Nice work.--Procopius 14:51, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

	NeedABrain has awarded you a mayonnaise jar!
	For you got the brains. In case of unwanted death, just have your brain tucked in and fill it with serum, formol or mint liqueur. If you can't wait, go tease a lion.

Congrats for your meteoric career here. A small token of recognition, for your own trophy room. ;) -- herr doktor needsApistol  [scream!] 17:30, 21 February 2007 (UTC)

[edit] You suck

You have won the coveted Bucket of Piss award. I would congratulate you, but this isn't anything to be proud about.

--Lstarmes 02:27, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Congratulations on becoming n00b of the month!

Take this stupcarp as a complementary gift:

--» >UF|TLK|▋» 02:53, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

Thanks! ...what's a stupcarp? Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 03:04, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] My Comrade

Premier Tom Mayfair 18:30, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thank you

Dear Contestant:

A big congratulations on your NooB award, and an even bigger thank you for the vote on Potatochopper of the Month award. It was very kind of you to recognize me for my work. And it was a very nice honor to get after a really horrible past couple weeks. Again, thanks so much. Dame GUN WotM 2xPotM VFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 22:52, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] evil audios

Thanks for contributing 3 evil, malformed, unprofessioa, and thoroughly horrid audios to UnNews... you'll fit in nicely. The little tune you used (I hope you didn't steal it) was interesting. I recommend new users use the "official" UnNews jingles, but that's one's ok with me. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 23:02, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

	YOU'VE BEEN HOZED!!! Listen to your doom!
	Rev_zim has performed a Hozing on your soul; apparently you've done wrong in the eyes of doG. Take off, eh?!.

[edit] Welcome to UnNews

Here it is, your welcomeing drivel, fresh from the oven. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 23:23, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

On your knees! Rev. Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and recieve the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware.

[edit] the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, Contestant, and thank you for contributing some crap, or something. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an UnNews articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and dispepsia.

Although I am an UnNews god cretin and an omnipotent admin, I am also humble, and realize that I make mistakes. I try to allow for some slack in others as well. If your article has been deleted or NRVd by me, it probably sucked, and in my opinion was not worth saving. Things which may protect you from my delete stick are;

1. Pics with captions
2. Links to other Uncyclopedia thingies, like this [[thingie]]
3. Pay attention to suggestions in the UnNews article template
5. Sources, fill in the info {{source|url= |title= |author= |pub= |date=Mmmmm DD, YYYY}}

if I see this "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY

instead of a properly formatted source, I may take it as a sign from the gods to delete the article

I've reproduced some other pertinent links below from Uncyclopedia:Community Portal which I recommend you peruse.

Discussion and Visitor Information

• Village Dump

General Discussion about Uncyclopedia, questions, comments.

• Uncyclopedia:Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian

If you're new read this or you might be huffed.

• Help Portal and All About Uncyclopedia

Information for new visitors to the site.

• Vanity Policies

We don't care how awesome you or your buddies are.

• How To Get Started Editing Uncyclopedia

Some helpful tips.

• List of Admins
• Mediawiki Formatting Guide

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers!

[edit] Thanks for the audio!

Greetings! Thanks a lot for adding audio to UnNews:Ice slabs fall in Toronto, mayor calls for 'tons' of salt. It is much appreciated and you did a great job :) - Enzo Aquarius 22:33, 5 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Get back on IRC!

Get back here, you FFS'er! --Starnestommy 00:51, 10 March 2007 (UTC)
jbndsakdjsadnadadndkjasdnaskdasjdnasd You --Starnestommy 01:14, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Wa-hey! Free Food!

Shalom! Yum! You've received a basket of delicious fresh bagels from RabbiTechno! Lekhaim! מזל טוב

RabbiTechno 11:37, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Haha

This was great, so I decided to keep it for you.

Bearing in mind that the article content was "Ha!" —Braydie 17:26, 30 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks from UnNews latest blabber mouth

I'm Mad As... Thank you for your vote. And, yes, I'm seeking professional help.

Thanks for the vote, mate. I truly enjoy your work as well. Kenvalyi 02:02, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Johnson family audio

Since you got the first one, would you mind doing the sequel? Sir Modusoperandi 16:46, 1 April 2007 (UTC)

Done. -- Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 01:54, 3 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Hey

I just listened to your audio version of Slate industry in Wales and enjoyed it. Bravo. I actually had an idea for your audio version of Fisher Price: maybe you could have an elaborate opening sequence like how some books-on-tape do, where they have some flourishing music, publishing information, and some proper-sounding person saying "Fisher Price. By 4.252.99.182. Read by the author." And then what you already have at the end. Just a thought. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 02:06, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Oh shit! I've gone all topical!

I realize that it's not a lot of warning, but this needs your magic audio touch. There's no time to waste because, for some reason, I'm occassionally topical. Who knew? --Sir Modusoperandi 03:15, 22 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] UotM

Thank you very much for your vote. This month, do the right thing and vote for Spang. --Sir Modusoperandi 02:25, 1 May 2007 (UTC)

[edit] "Sucks"?

Care to discuss a little? The article is on Pee Review, in case you are interested. -- herr doktor needsAcharge  [scream!] 21:33, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

At least from a grammatical, spelling, and vocabulary standpoint. -- Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 21:43, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

Ah, all right then, that's why I asked for help. It was rewritten preserving some parts but I guess you may credit me for most of that mess. -- herr doktor needsAbolt  [scream!] 21:45, 8 May 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Fun with n00bs

--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 19:45, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Um, you are aware that you're whoring inactive users? And if you get this message, don't listen to him--Æ 20:21, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:TheLedBalloon/UnNews

So, are you from MA, too, or did you just look us up on Wikipedia? ;) Actually, a bunch of those are towns that I don't know, are they in Western MA? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:45, Dec 13

Both. Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 22:46, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Have a not-shitty Christmas!

	Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
	Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:37, Dec 17

	AE has awarded you a beer in which you help build your own Christmasbeerbottletree (shown right)
	Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

On a side note, I'm really tired of you Massachussetts guys invading Uncyclopedia. This has to stop--Æ 01:39, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Bloody Pagans

Premier Tom Mayfair

[edit] Yet another christmas template, but with more penis!

I just wanted to wish yew a faggy christmas! I mean... merry. I contest yew to have a great christmas! :P Honest, I meant merry! ~Fag x FS

[edit] Et toi

--Major'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Canada! 15:32, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Merry Xmas!

Bonner would like to wish you a Merry Christgame And a happy New Game P.S, You just lost the game (Bonner) (Talk)

[edit] Merry Christmas soon!

Uncyclopedian wishes you have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year's!

Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

[edit] Christmas cuteness

Thanks for the card, it's going to look just great hidden down the back of the sofa. Here's wishing you the cutest Christmas ever! Not cute enough? CLICK to try again

Yay Christmas! -- sannse esnnas 21:37, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] There, Iowa

Thanks for the review!! I added a conclusion and a Proofread Template. Do you think it's fine now?--Æ 23:58, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, it's much better now. I put the article on UN:PROOF for you. Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 00:02, 20 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Merry holiday celebration thing...

Merry Holiday type thing, or somthing 2007 Capercorn would like to hope that your holidays are not as bad as this poor guy's. Have a Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Yuletide and/or Kwanzaa, or whatever strange holiday you celebrate.

--Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS NO!! 08:06, 23 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Pee review

Yo, thanks for the review. In fact, have this:

	Rejoice, Contestant! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award
	For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Thankings aside, I fixed it up a bit, do you still think it's too informal-sounding? I do the official templates and categories after I put it into mainspace, so my subpage doesn't wind up in a bunch of categories. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:58, Dec 23

[edit] Joyous victory for political correctness!

	The Led Balloon thanks you for keeping our school systems politically correct to the point of absurdity.
	But really, does anyone care?

Thanks for voting, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:26, Dec 23

[edit] Merry Christmas

[edit] Thanks

Thanks for the encouragement. But what does dibs mean? Yongen 92 04:35, 27 December 2007 (UTC) Unnews:Latest attempt to capture Santa Claus fails

[edit] Why?:Take Your Fish To Work

	Rejoice, Contestant! You have been entitled to something that looks similar to the Golden Shower Award
	For doing something nice for Cajek!!!

Thank you anyway, Contestant! I updated the page a little bit based on your suggestions. Especially thank you for being honest. If you think it's vfh, you could nom it. Maybe I should see what a few other people think, though.   CAKE J! <-> (Dec 27 / 05:33)

[edit] Thx, can you give suggestions on another new article

Hey Contestant! thx for your review. Now, I'm working on another article(Unbooks: chicken soup for the chicken's soul). Would u please stop by this page and give osme suggestioons on the article? Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul

Yongen 92 14:30, 28 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

--Æ 00:44, 1 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Join Unsoc

You have shown yourself as a worthy contributor to unc and have the skills and experience to help make uncyclopedia a better place. I joined. Why don't you, comrade?-- Sir Unknown User ^{(Talk : Cont : VFH : PEE : CUN)} Jan 5 21:02

[edit] Sorry I'm late

Enjoy your late thankin'.

	The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.
	Beware the white stuff!

- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:13, Jan 14

[edit] PLS Judging

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, or if these rules are not cognizant within you.

Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! -- [SIR] e|m|c ^[talk] 23:34, 27 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Let's never mention this again, eh?

-- [SIR] e|m|c ^[talk] 20:44, 10 February 2008 (UTC)