User talk:Dr. Skullthumper/Archive 7
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Chapter Seven |
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Chapter Six |
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Chapter Five |
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Chapter Four |
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Chapter Three |
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Chapter Two |
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Chapter One |
Toodles.
- Wow, Olipro of all people is making you quit? I thought you a bigger man, "Skullthumper" --Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 05:29, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
- What I find hard to believe is that you are willing to give up on a years work on a humour website over a joke. Irony, or what? Are you Nintendorulez in disguise? ;) -- Sir Mhaille
(talk to me)
- This is Olipro we're talking about, right? (from the alternate audio track on the DVD of Unforgiven)
"I'm Olipro and I've buggered women and children. I've buggered everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to bugger you, Little Bill, for what you done to Ned."
- Don't ask me how I discovered this hidden track. It's a shame that I plan to carry to my grave. Sir Modusoperandi 08:19, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
- What I find hard to believe is that you are willing to give up on a years work on a humour website over a joke. Irony, or what? Are you Nintendorulez in disguise? ;) -- Sir Mhaille
- awww! aw, awwwwwww! 16:05, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
I wouldn't like to think I made you leave over the fact you fancy another Uncyc user who you never met, but equally, if you take me that seriously you probably need to take some time out to mature "like a piece of stilton" -- Prof Olipro 
KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 16:14, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
- Or perhaps, you need to realize when to stop. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 16:26 Aug 22, 2008
- It's done, I've stopped, see the VD. -- Prof Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 16:47, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: August 21st, 2008
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
August 21st, 2008 • Issue Sixteen • The periodical without any junk in its trunk
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And the award for Sluttiest User goes to... ...Mhaille! With over fifteen thousand links to his userpage strewn willy-nilly about Uncyclopedia, Mhaille takes home the Slutty for the sixth consecutive time. Everyone's favorite moustachioed chappie overtook Codeine in early 2007 and never looked back. When asked about this momentous achievement, Mhaille was still in shock from the victory. "I'd like to give thanks to my mother and my father, for first taking me into the family business. Without their years of experience and their guidance I would not have become the Slut I am today," he said. "It is for them that I hope to make it a seventh title!" Coming in at second on the list was the legendary Benson. Despite having only twenty edits in the past year, Benson has managed to rack up over twelve thousand links to his userpage. He still enjoys a several thousand link lead over slut number three, Thekillerfroggy. When asked how Benson managed to not only maintain his lead, but actually increase it, TKF said, "A wizard did it." In-depth investigation by this reporter revealed that Froggy's signature may have something to do with it, as random selection feature will occasionally cause TKF's sig to spam dozens of links to Benson's userpage, mostly in Dr. Skullthumper's userspace. UnSignpost gets new paper-boy Uncyclopedia's semi-official newspaper, enjoyed by literally several readers each week, has hired a brand new paper boy. This individual has been delivering the UnSignpost for the past two weeks. This cost cutting measure was announced after the guy with the keys to the delivery robots disappeared, taking the keys, several thousand dollars in cash, and a stapler with him. Unconfirmed rumours made up by me suggest that he intends to staple the money to the keys before turning the stapler on himself. The paper boy, who calls himself Gerrycheevers, says that it is a tough job, but he is glad to be able to contribute something. "It's a tough job," he told UnSignpost reporters "but I am glad to be able to contribute something." The young paper boy is saving up his pocket money to buy a new frisbee. The mammoth task has taken its toll on young Mr. Cheevers, leaving him with severe wrist pain and an acute hatred of humanity. "It totally messed up my wrists. I was out of action for days!" he said. Most Uncyclopedians are said to be happy with the new service, saying that they prefer the more personal touch that comes with human delivery. "Those damn robots trampled my garden, broke down my door and killed my dog with their death-rays" said one unfortunate Uncyclopedian. In a related story, Gerrycheevers has been 'throttled' from such activites as moving pages and making mass edits. His repetitive edits have apparently pissed off at least one admin, and Gerry is now limited to one edit per four hours. He has used these edits carefully, and has managed to find a new paperbot. This week, the UnSignpost will be delivered by MantiBot. Subscribers can only hope the new delivery system works out, or the UnSignpost may be doomed. |
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Owner 12:12, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
Uh
Please don't leave on account of one person. It's so easy to just ignore that person. A lot of people on here are dicks, but for every one of those people, there's 2 people who aren't dicks. And that makes, like 38 people at least who aren't dicks...and...um...kinda forgot what I was sayin'. Oh yeah. Dicks. Anyway, like...don't go. Or whatever. 
Heck no techno | chitchat | stuff.. 
19:36, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
Anyway...
I brought a picture of some sausages. Hope you like them.
Hey, look at this!
Look at the adorable puppy. He wants you to come back. His eyes cry for your return. How can you possibly say no to him?
Observe his lonely gaze. Surely, it is a gaze of sadness that can only be remedied by the return of the one who has possession of him; the one whose talk page currently hosts his image and likeness.
Despite the loss, he still maintains an ever so slight smile in hope that one may finally return to properly care for him. He needs a doctor to make sure that he is healthy and can become a full, adult dog. He needs someone of power to maintain a watchful eye over him. He may also be some sort of allegory for this site, but let's ignore that, and carefully see him, sitting there, waiting for you.
How could you deny him of that? --Mr. Monkey 
Pant-hoot here. 15:21, 23 August 2008 (UTC)
Now look at this!
Doesn't that make you feel all warm inside? -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
Darling
Skully, it's all over now, the whole thread is gone, your request for me to stop victimising you is granted, and even better; nobody is paying any more attention to you and the original "joke" that upset you... suffice to say that your grievance has essentially been destroyed.
Your Move. -- Prof Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 23:19, 23 August 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008
The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!
August 28th, 2008 • SEVENTEENTH ISSUE SPECTACULAR • Word to your mother
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Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden '1000' in the count to a million project, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars. On that note, the Porn Wars ended earlier this week with a tentative truce between Commander Jailbait and General Pervert. The war began the week before, when Regret posted a pin-up girl to balance Orian's photo of a scantily-clad male, claiming he was "bringing balance back to the universe." Regret also stated he would "fight to the death"... or at least until Leddy stepped in, this time to call a "three-pornstuffs rule", which eventually ended the erotic feud. Meth, a constant editor on the forum, said "'twas a fortunate day for all under 18." Still, even with peace returning to the forum, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times. That would mean 3000 archives, give or take." To which another user responded, "unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always trudge on, giving Uncyclopedians something with which to kill thirty seconds, and also giving UnSignpost reporters something to write about. Lack of cure for testicular cancer kills 100 Uncyc members Uncycloversity members are still failing to find a cure for our previously mentioned testicular cancer, and to date, 100 people have died of said cancer. When nobody died, some user said it was a rumor made by some other user to piss us all off, right before clutching his balls in pain and dropping dead. Within an hour, about 16 more people died a cancer-related death. A live update shows that 105 users are now dead. You could be next! Don't panic, that'll make you die faster. Regret Tenenbaum, the user who originally warned of the disease, had this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!" to which he added "Na-nanana-nanana!" The death toll is expected to reach into the thousands, with no end in sight. A memorial was set up earlier today to remember the dead, with one number added for every fallen Uncyclopedian. With fear and panic filling the hearts of users everywhere, there is one question that is on everyone's mind: "WHY GOD, WHY?!" Another live update show that 200 people have now died, and out of those, 10 people killed themselves in anxiety. Remember to always feel your testicles with your fingers. That's right. It helps prevent the cancer from reproducing. |
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WTH
Why won't you let the Runescape page be created? Ldude893 09:41, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
- Because nobody seems able to create a page there that doesn't suck. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:54, Sep 1
- A runescape page would be funny as heck... you should unblock it. -- Someone too lazy to sign up
- Get an account and write it in your userspace to prove to me that it would be "funny as heck," as you say. Otherwise, no. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 02:57 Sep 02, 2008
- There is no reason why you should block it. Ldude893 04:40, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Yes there is. Pretty much every blocked page here is blocked for one reason: people keep on creating crap versions of it. We don't arbitrarily decide to block pages to piss people off. Well, not that often. So create the article in your userspace here and prove that you are finally bestowing on us a funny article to fill that page, and the admins will then unblock the page and shift it in there. Simple. Good luck! --UU - Blah
07:12, Sep 3
- Give me access to the older versions so I can see why it's locked Ldude893 11:27, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
- I'd love to restore all 2,053 deleted edits just for you. Absolutely love to. Except my DSL is broken, and I'm stuck on dialup, which I'll have to be off of in a few minutes. So, no. Suffice to say all of the old revisions failed HTBFANJS. Read that, then write. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 21:55 Sep 04, 2008
- ........
- ........
- Well? Ldude893 01:35, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
- Well what? Did you write a funny version yet? If not, get to it. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 01:55 Sep 08, 2008
- ........
- ........
- WELL?!? <2:18, 08 Sep 2008>
- You never give a chance for articles to live, do you.Ldude893 11:26, 13 September 2008 (UTC)
- What part of "Do it in your userspace" is so hard to understand? Listen, let me explain why it got deleted. Uncyclopedia has a whole bunch of titles that are protected for one reason or another. This system of protected titles was first CVP - where the titles were created with a redirect to the CVP page and protected - then DPP - where the titles were included in a cascading protected page. The newest method involves protecting those titles directly. When I was first admin'd, I took on the large task of getting all of the CVP pages and DPP pages protected directly. If you look at the history of the article Runescape, you'll notice it is indeed one of these CVP'd pages. Therefore, it should not exist, and the page should be protected. I deleted the article because of this. I didn't see that you added anything beyond what you had in your userspace, but if you need it back to work on I'll be more than happy to restore it to your userspace. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 15:06 Sep 13, 2008
- You never give a chance for articles to live, do you.Ldude893 11:26, 13 September 2008 (UTC)
- Well what? Did you write a funny version yet? If not, get to it. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 01:55 Sep 08, 2008
- I'd love to restore all 2,053 deleted edits just for you. Absolutely love to. Except my DSL is broken, and I'm stuck on dialup, which I'll have to be off of in a few minutes. So, no. Suffice to say all of the old revisions failed HTBFANJS. Read that, then write. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 21:55 Sep 04, 2008
- Give me access to the older versions so I can see why it's locked Ldude893 11:27, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
- Yes there is. Pretty much every blocked page here is blocked for one reason: people keep on creating crap versions of it. We don't arbitrarily decide to block pages to piss people off. Well, not that often. So create the article in your userspace here and prove that you are finally bestowing on us a funny article to fill that page, and the admins will then unblock the page and shift it in there. Simple. Good luck! --UU - Blah
- There is no reason why you should block it. Ldude893 04:40, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Get an account and write it in your userspace to prove to me that it would be "funny as heck," as you say. Otherwise, no. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 02:57 Sep 02, 2008
- A runescape page would be funny as heck... you should unblock it. -- Someone too lazy to sign up
Slipknot?????
WHy is the page on Slipknot locked? I had some seriously funny ideas cooked up in my head.
Slipknot?????
Why is the Slipknot page locked? My Russian/Australian compatriots and I have some very funny ideas going... —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Teh doctor (talk • contribs)
- See that bit above this? The one titled WTH? Read it, replacing the word "Runescape" with "Slipknot". Voila! --UU - Blah 07:05, Sep 4
- Write an article in your userspace, then. Also, what Under user said. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 21:57 Sep 04, 2008
- User:Teh doctor/Slipknot. There! Done! happy? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Teh doctor (talk • contribs)
UnSignpost: September 4th, 2008
Just like Grandma used to make!
September 4th, 2008 • Eighteenth Issue • STOP!! SIGNPOST TIME!!
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Uncyclopedia copies Conservapedia  Recently, on the fact-based no-spin-zone wiki known as Conservapedia, there has been debate raging over whether to ban all atheists from contributing. Apparently conservapedians believe atheists (those who deny the existence of the creator) to be at the very least a hinderance, and at the very most a hideous group of venom-spitting demon-eyed savages who feed on the blood of children. If this motion garners enough support it may become a 'Conservapedia Commandment', along with 'no girls allowed' and 'slow down, this is a neighborhood.' Mild amusement and complete apathy were rampant among Uncyclopedians yesterday. Some poked fun at the silly conservatives for proposing such a Nazi-esque measure. Others took up the reigns in a new thread: should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia? It seems support for this action is widespread, and soon 'Cthulhu tests' will be administered to random users at random times. Failure of such tests will result in soul consumption. User Heerenveen had this to say: "I believe that it shouldn't matter whether you are an avid worshipper of Cthulhu, just someone who pretends to like Cthulhu to fit in with your mates, or indeed a foaming-at-the-crotch atheist (of Cthulhu), you should be infinibanned from Uncyc regardless. Unless, of course, you are Cajek," to which Orian57 added, "Richard Dawkins is so sexy." As is the norm here on Uncyclopedia, the controversy was immediately parodied, and then the parody of the controversy was summarily parodied. It has yet to be seen whether the parody of the parody will in fact be parodied.
IN A WORLD where JUSTICE is a distant memory...where HOPE seems desperately out of reach...where THROATY BARITONES are hard to come by... ...ONE MAN performed voice-overs for OVER NINETY FOUR THOUSAND FILMS. His DEEPLY SONOROUS VOICE could turn even the most BORING movie into AN ALL-OUT THRILLER... ...Most famously known for THAT GEICO COMMERCIAL HE DID, that man's NAME was DON LAFONTAINE. Critics hailed him as 'THAT MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY' and 'THE DUDE WITH THE CRAZY VOICE'... ...On Monday, LaFontaine PASSED AWAY suddenly when a FIERY EXPLOSION in a SHRAPNEL FACTORY caused the TURBO-CHARGED SPORTSCAR in which he was being pursued by MONGOL HORDES to CAREEN OVER A CLIFF. He was 68...
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WTF?
WTF isn't Cajek blocked? ~
22:32, 13 September 2008 (UTC)
- Hmm, good question. I must be slacking on my admin duties again. Which is a bit paradoxical, considering one of the admin's duties is to slack off. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 22:49 Sep 13, 2008
...
- ...
- ...
- WELL?! ~ 22:51, 13 September 2008 (UTC)
- WELL?! ~
Please stop deleting my Silver The Hedgehog page!
I am not done yet, and i have some kewl idea's for it! —The preceding unsigned comment was added by DarkMatter (talk • contribs)
- Hi there! If a page is in construction, it's a good idea to add {{construction}} to it to show the rest of us that you're not done yet. Also, it's less annoying if you use the Preview button. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 21:40 Sep 14, 2008
- umm.. okay... thanx. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by DarkMatter (talk • contribs)
- Welcome. Also, please sign your posts with four tildes, like so: ~~~~ so other people can see who's talking. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 21:47 Sep 14, 2008
- Thanx again, sorry to bother you, i'm new here.
- DarkMatter
- Not a problem, dude. (P.S. the four tildes - ~~~~ - automatically transform into your username, a link to your userpage, and the time you posted. So you'd write Message ~~~~.) – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 22:45 Sep 14, 2008
- Again.... thank you.... do you like the page so far? DarkMatter 15:16, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
- I see you've got the sig thing working. Have you read HTBFANJS? It's one of the most helpful guides here. Rather, it's the only helpful guide here. Your article sounds like it's turning into one long complaint. Which isn't exactly funny, unless you're parodying someone complaining, knowwhatImean? Video game characters are notoriously difficult to write a good article on. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 15:21 Sep 15, 2008
- Ah... it isn't a complaint, as i am a fan of Silver, but, there is one really funny thing i know of and have told my friend.... he cracked up! DarkMatter 15:42, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
- I see you've got the sig thing working. Have you read HTBFANJS? It's one of the most helpful guides here. Rather, it's the only helpful guide here. Your article sounds like it's turning into one long complaint. Which isn't exactly funny, unless you're parodying someone complaining, knowwhatImean? Video game characters are notoriously difficult to write a good article on. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 15:21 Sep 15, 2008
- Again.... thank you.... do you like the page so far? DarkMatter 15:16, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
- Not a problem, dude. (P.S. the four tildes - ~~~~ - automatically transform into your username, a link to your userpage, and the time you posted. So you'd write Message ~~~~.) – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 22:45 Sep 14, 2008
- Welcome. Also, please sign your posts with four tildes, like so: ~~~~ so other people can see who's talking. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 21:47 Sep 14, 2008
- umm.. okay... thanx. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by DarkMatter (talk • contribs)
You are a star!
Thanks for letting me use you... Stop Squirming and Hold Still. Dame 
GUN WotM 2xPotM VFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 14:15, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
- Hmm, how best to convey my reaction? Oh yes, probably: XD – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize