User talk:Gerrycheevers

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Rules
1. No quoting the movie Fight Club on Gerry's talk page.
2. No quoting the movie Fight Club on Gerry's talk page!
3. New stuff at the bottom.
4.NO VOTE WHORING ON THIS PAGE. Seriously, I vote one way
or the other for almost everything on this site of my own accord,
so asking for votes here won't get you anything other than
a mouthful of goalie stick. I'll be happy to take a look at something you've
written, however (I like to think I'm helpful like that).
5. If you leave me a message here, I will respond here. A good way
to see when I've answered is to click the convenient 'watch' button at
the top of this page, once you're done mucking it up.

old stuff archive | newer old stuff archive

[edit] Changes

Hi. I made two changes to you latest page. Sry. They were both links and in red. I changed "Harpsichord" to "harp" (the closest thing to which to link) and "cause", tho' I tried over and over, I ultimately had to settle with a link to "Santa Clause" (I tried rationale, justify, justification, etc. nothing!).

Oh, and I updated "Gina the No-Headed Gymnast". What do you think? http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnNews:Gina_the_No-Headed_Gymnast_Olympic_Ready

Smuggler

[edit] Rape

From Syc--Sycamore (Talk) 17:17, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

hmmm it seems i'm not familiar with the concept of 'raping' one's talk page, but i gather that it's more or less being the first one to edit after it has been archived. is that about right? OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:18, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Yeah:)--Sycamore (Talk) 17:29, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Malik

I've seen those little signs on top of some articles that can sometimes clear things up, how do I do those? --AldirTheKnight 19:41, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Model T

I read your comments on my Model T page, and have made various changes since, check it out and let me know if you have any more good ideas :)

Mangotastic xx

its still very much a work in progress btw, there are a few more things i have yet to implement such as links etc

[edit] Tony and Ludo thank you!

Splendid, what!

UU would like to express his gratitude for you vote on UnMysteries:A Tissue Of Lies. Therefore, please accept a free gift of Sir John Obvious-Suspect's latest innovation - Sudoku toilet paper, for those mornings when you know you're gonna be in there ages!

I honestly thought that any of my own stuff I loved that much would never make it, so thanks for proving something-or-other to me. --UU - Blah 08:38, Jul 28

[edit] I'm not sure if you take requests, but...

There's been a lot of talk about saving the whorehouse from extinction and Sir Burninator suggested that you might be able to write a story for the UnSignpost about The Whorehouse to get the word out. To get more people to use it, you know? It would be greatly appreciated. Gracias! -- REGRETTENENBAUM TALK! 20:42, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

[edit] You sir get one of these

Jolly Good Show!

MrN9000 could not help but notice that you have been doing some spiffingly good deeds of late.
As such, you have been awarded this rather nice boxy type thing by way of reignition.
Congratulations.

You have been working like a slave (oh you are) on VFD, and your article in UnSignpost looks dam good to me. I hope we can get the views of Lj before it goes out... Awesome dude... Oh, don't spend too much time on VFD though. It's the writing of new stuff which is what's really important. Thanks. Mr N 16:47, Jul 30

thanks, MrN! good point about the writing, i'll be doing much more of that next month. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:01, 30 July 2008 (UTC)

[edit] C3PO

Disappointed it didn't do better on VFH. I really thought it had a chance. :( -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)

yea, a lot of my articles tend to get the same 'i enjoyed it but not enough' treatment on VFH. no worries, just means i have to write more. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:32, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

[edit] MrN being a pain...

Good day sir. Sorry to but in with all the good work you are doing over at VFD, but I think that there is a slight danger you might start getting accused of "flooding"... Yea, I know the page was kinda empty, but nominating 10 or so articles for deletion at the same time is probably not a good idea... When I was having my huge clear out of short pages, I normally tried to keep it to only 5 at a time. Maybe put 5 or so up, then leave it for a bit. At least until some people start to vote or, some one else noms something anyway... Like I said, sorry to be a pain... I think the main thing is that you don't fill the page up completely (which you understand I know) but still, 10 at once is probably too many. Cheers. :-) Mr N 01:54, Aug 1

ahh, you bring up a good point (again) sir. i do like to bring the total up to 15 or 16 when i put stuff on there, but i guess i should have realized that other people have lists and stuff too. i'll keep the noms down. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 01:57, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Awesome. Oh, if you are interested... I have cleared (most) of the really bad stuff out of short pages 500-1000 now. If you want to go looking for the really pants stubs, but might find them between 500 and 100 or so... Most of the "really" short stuff is probably too in-jokey to be worth the bother of trying to get deleted... Have fun. :-) Mr N

02:01, Aug 1

If somebody is being obnoxious, it must be me: MrN9000 or whatever my name is. Mr C

02:11, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

it's not sunday! get back in your cage, cajek! OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 02:14, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] kthx

Cyber Ninjastar

For your in-depth Pee Review of User:SysRq/Coors Light Presents: The American Man. Thanks mate. –SysRq

Muchos gracias mang. sir sysrq @ 02:45 Aug 1

[edit] USP

Many thanks for your work on the latest issue (whenever it gets delivered!)

I've set up the page for the next one, but don't know if I'll make any contributions at all this week - I've asked for a ban during working hours as I'm in serious danger of getting in trouble at work if I don't. Therefore can you take even more weight on your mighty shoulders and keep it running this week? I like the Signpost, and so do at least some others, and I do want to make sure it continues if possible, but have to do a bit of a Cajek and Skullthumper and step back from it for a short while (although I do intend to return to it all editorial guns blazing shortly).

Because you are ace, and have stayed here for at least a couple of weeks in your latest comeback, I bestow upon you a ninjastar. Thanks bud! --UU - Blah 12:33, Aug 3

Original Ninjastar

For general news awesomeness. –UU

thanks, UU! sure thing, i'll keep the gears of the signpost greased with sweat and the blood of n00bs. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:07, 3 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

July 31^st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!

The biggest little whorehouse on the internet

By Gerrycheevers

Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration.

While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article.

Virus exposes user vulnerability to death

By Regret Tenenbaum

Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following:

a lump in one testis or a hardening of one of the testicles
The testicle should normally feel smooth to the touch. Ridges may be felt because of enlarged blood vessels or tumor growth. Additionally the entire testicle may feel hard and bumpy to the touch.
Abnormal sensitivity (either numbness or pain)
loss of sexual activity
sexual withdrawal
build-up of fluid in the scrotum
a dull ache in the lower abdomen or groin
an increase, or significant decrease, in the size of one testis
blood in semen
General weak and tired feeling
The testicle with a tumor may be severely enlarged, as much as 3 times the original size. Simultaneously the other testicle may be shrunken in size, due to the tumor taking up the majority of the blood supply to the scrotum.
Other nasty stuff.

Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.)

The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any.

Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him.

Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right...

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.)
17:24, 24 July 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) (blocked SIR TOM CRUISE! with an expiry time of 3 months (no dear, Baha'i is the Truth, or Judaism, I can never remember)
02:34, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Dammit, stop being a sockpuppet!)
14:41, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) unblocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Oh, I bet you think you're all crafty n' shit, don'tcha? DON'TCHA! Well guess what: I can see through your ruse now, you sockpuppet-impersonating iIdunnowhat!)
21:04, 29 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.196.62.163 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wanker: Take a day off. Take some deep breaths. It's only France)

Biopic of the Week

The Woodburninator ~ What should thou doest upon sighting The Woodburninator? Run away, apparently. Unless you're looking to read some high quality articles. Last month's NotM has made quite an impression on Uncyclopedia in his short time here, despite claims that he is about as useful as the 5-star rating system. Don't be fooled! WB is on track to contribute far more than the ratings system (especially since the average UnSignpost rating is about 1.2), and then some. Just don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage...

Old-school featured article of the week

Check out Moon hoax. Ever been told by one of your know-it all friends that we never landed on the moon, and it was all staged on a set in the desert? Well, after reading this article, you should be prepared to thoroughly debunk your narrow-minded chum. Just be sure that you wager heavily on 'we went to the moon' before you start explaining.

This Week's Horoscopes

NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/28/08

Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - You will learn the true meaning of Christmas after much embarrassment and the intervention of a friend with a dictionary.

see more horoscopes

Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week:

Russian Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol and the Crappy Translation.

Quotes of the Week

<DrSkullthumper> Goatse is work safe if you're a proctologist

<AAA^> "Muslim Porn: Women revealing their hair"

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:46, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

Thanks for cleaning up my article. By the way, I see next to your name a + sign and numbers all in green. What's that mean?

Smuggler

why, i have no idea what you are referring to, sir. where did you see these mysterious numbers? OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:26, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] User:Gerrycheevers/James Randi

For you. -- Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 16:19, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

thank you very much, sir. i plan on having at it shortly. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:21, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

This one too. -RA HB 03:12, 11 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost: August 7th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

August 7^th, 2008 • Fourteenth Issue • Just like Grandma used to make!

Uncyclopedia Forum set to consume the Internet

By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays

Top scientists at the Uncycloversity this week predicted that a Village Dump topic, started in June by prominent Uncylopedian and alchemist Spang, will one day consume the entire internet.

According to the university's top expert, Dr. Skullthumper, Ph.D.: "This is one of those things that could go on forever. I mean, at least counting to a million has a definite ending. With this, there is no end, since everyone wants to be the last person to edit."

Wikia staff member and Uncyclopedian Sannse predicts that the forum topic will take up all of Wikia's hardware by late 2009 and will then begin to "consume all around it, like I did that time I tried marijuana." She went on to add, "nothing will be safe – not even Wikipedia," before blessing herself and staring reverently at a statue of Jimmy Wales.

Others, however, are more optimistic. According to Modusoperandi, "eventually someone will invent some sort of robot or hobgoblin to automatically edit the topic, and then it will have to be locked. Either that, or someone will figure out that there is no prize, rendering the whole thing pointless. And then I shall be the winner!"

Spang was unavailable for comment because, according to his spokesperson, "he is busy in his cave dreaming up more crazy schemes to destroy the internet."

Admins everywhere!

By Gerrycheevers

If you're a wiki-troll, cyberbullying vandal or extremely crappy article, you'd better start watching your behind. Three new deputies were voted in by the Uncyclopedia Sheriff's Department: Dr. Skullthumper, RAHB, and Roman Dog Bird. The trio were bestowed this great honor last Friday by Codeine. This brings the total amount of active authority figures who could wallop you over the head with a banhammer to 29. The reason for the unusally high number of new sysops is that a clear consensus could not be reached, and also that all three of these individuals are "awesome".

The new admins were extremely pleased and greatly honored by their new title. None of them wasted any time in executing their first sysop move (RAHB and Dr. Skullthumper banned Cajek; Roman Dog Bird deleted one hundred articles, then banned Cajek). The prescence of these new neighborhood patrollers was evident immediately, with QVFD being renamed "Skull and RAHB's House of Huffing", and placing {{VFD}} in an article now automatically classifying it as "Roman Dog Bird's bitch".

The reactions from the new sysops were similar, with all three pledging to delete bad articles, ban unworthy knuckleheads, continue plans for world domination, and "try not to muck up the site too much". RAHB has set himself lofty goals, including "keeping it cool" and some wiki-related nonsense that this reporter didn't understand. Roman Dog Bird wished the readers of the Signpost to know that he said "something", and went on to add that he will continue to "clean crap up...only now with more power." Dr. Skullthumper is thankful that no one has caught on to the trio of new ops and expresses his optimism as far as not being immediately de-opped, but also listed several early accomplishments as well as future goals. With these three brave new souls now patrolling the corridors of this silly wiki, it is truly a dark time for terrible articles, merciless vandals, and Cajek.

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

01:57, 1 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Okay, that's enough Uncyclopedia. Bye.)
02:05, 1 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) unblocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) ‎ (ARGH NOOOO I CAN'T ESCAPE)
20:14, 3 August 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Orian57 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 minutes ‎ (Admins do not abuse their powers. On the contrary, Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia)
14:21, 6 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) huffed "EQ" ‎ (Thanks for the Psychology course refresher. Don't worry, I paid attention in that class, I don't really need it.)
15:54, 7 August 2008, Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.106.53.68 (Talk) (expires 15:54, 8 August 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (I don't know what the Somali is for "Don't do that". But don't do that.)

Biopic of the Week

SysRq ~ Not just a button on your keyboard anymore (well, half a button, really), SysRq has become quite the Uncyclopedian in his time here. Spending his time writing awesome stuff, utilizing his platinum urinal, and coming up with stuff on the fly, he has earned a spot among the elite that Uncyc has to offer. (And this seems to be a bit of a recurring theme, but again, don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage.)

Old-school featured article of the week

Check out Battle of Gettysburg, a harrowing documentary of one of the bloodiest battles in the American Civil War, and one man's fight to get through it.

This Week's Horoscopes

GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE

Gemini (May 21 - June 21) - Help! I am being held hostage in the horoscope editing room!

see more horoscopes

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Painstakingly hand-delivered by: OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:51, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Hand-delivered

Good job, Gerry! You have a lot of devotion to the lost art of news-writing! CAKE J! <16:54, 12 Aug 2008>

i consider it a kind of mega-whore, in that i posted something i that i wrote 85% of directly onto eighty different userpages, where it can't possibly be ignored. cheers! OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:56, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

I too would like to applaud on such a wonderful hand-job. I'd be lost without my SignPost! Your devotion will surely be noticed by the community of devoted readers!

Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex

Cajek Sucks A Fat One

04:28

Good job gerry. You steped in and did a robots job when said robot fell into disrepair. would you like the normal treat of several thousand numbers to crunch on now? Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally CUN GotA 01:37, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

yes, please. no really long decimals, though. they get stuck in my robot-teeth and cause me to KILL ALL HUMANS!!! OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 03:07, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

A pocketful of ninjastars for you!

Ok, so this thingy is supposed to be for tons of edits to the same article, but hey! Great work doing that thingy I gave this to you for...whatever that was. –TheLedBalloon

Ninjastar! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:30, Aug 13

And so Led beat me to the thingy I was going to give you for this frankly Herculean effort. You truly are a legend of the news world! --UU - Blah

07:11, Aug 13

[edit] Hey man

Thanks for your review of Isaac Newton. I've made some of the changes you recommended, could you maybe take another look (here) please? Commander An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays TALK 22:53, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

sure, i'll take a look today. would you like another in-depth review, or more of a shorter general review? OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:11, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

In-depth, if you have time. Commander An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays TALK 19:16, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Don't want to pressure you, but have you forgotten about this? (Pressure Pressure Pressure!) Commander An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays TALK 20:54, 17 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] You are on some kind of mission...

Yeah, so it seems you've returned on a mission to make up for months of absence with aplomb. Taking your quality pee total to 25 gets you this coveted award. Don't burn yourself out now! --UU - Blah 09:49, Aug 14

Golden Urinal
You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work.
Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing - there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!

"aplomb (n): great coolness and composure under strain." hooray! a compliment! yea i noticed i had 22 reviews yesterday morning, so i got crackin'. i look forward to churning out reviews at a steady pace, and to you walloping me over the head with your manhole cover should my review quality start to slip. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:07, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] unnews

erm, can you tell me how to create unnews? --Adikhebat(speak aadeeq haebate) 15:24, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

sure. clicking this blue thingy will bring you to a page detailing how to write an article. typing your desired article title into the box and pressing the 'create page' button generates a page complete with all the stuff you need for citing sources, getting your page properly categorized on the unnews page, etc. if you need any other specific help, feel free to ask further questions. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:28, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Bodohnews

Bodohpedia (Malay uncyclopedia) have'nt unnews, can you tech me how to create unnews at malay uncyclopedia ??
help me please....----Adikhebat(speak aadeeq haebate) 16:42, 14 August 2008 (UTC)(Note:My English is bad)

hmmm, i'm not sure how much help i can be on creating a whole unnews page on another wiki. you might try talking to Spang of Sannse about it, they are much more knowledgeable about this sort of thing. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:51, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] UnSignpost: August 14th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Word to your mother

August 14^th, 2008 • Fifteenth Issue • May contain traces of humor

Uncyclopedia kidnapped!

By Gerrycheevers

In a shocking development, a brazen individual absconded with Uncyclopedia just over a week ago. Users were shocked when their attempts to access the site between 18:33 and 20:07 UTC on August 4th resulted in a sinister message being displayed, promising the swift return of the wiki should the kidnapper's demands be met. Panic ensued, with several Uncyclopedians wandering off to places unknown, never to return.

Once the site was restored and the intertubes reconnected, the identity of the culprit was obvious: Orian57 had made the last edit before the ninety-minute gap, with the ominous and puzzling edit summary of "I AM STEALING UNCYCLOPEDIA!!!" The site itself seemed to be mostly fine after its harrowing ordeal, with the exception of VFP, which turned all of Zombiebaron's against votes into ten for votes during the first few hours back.

This reporter caught up to Orian57, and had the opportunity to talk with him at some length about the reasons for the abduction. After consulting with his lawyer, Orian agreed to comment on the situation. On why he stole the wiki, he said, "my motivation for this cyber-terrorism wasn't something trite like 'because I could' or 'it wasn't me'. No. It was because nobody was paying me any attention!" It seems that Orian, in a desperate bid for attention, locked the Uncyclopedia server in a basement, and attempted to edit it so that all content referred to him.

Perhaps his subconcious got the better of him, or perhaps the spirit of Sophia came to Uncyclopedia's rescue. In any case, Orian claims he heard a female voice speaking to him, which convinced him to return the server and allow "uncyclopedians around the world to stop masturbating and return to peeling potatoes or whatever they do."

Some sort of competition finishes

By UU

So as you may have noticed, recently a contest of titanic proportions has been gripping the world like no other event. Palms have been sweaty, nails have been chewed, bribes, threats, and allegations of stimulant abuse have been rife. But now, the latest incarnation of the Poo Lit Surprise has drawn to a close, and so our attention can drift to that bunch of steroid-enhanced nutters at the Olympics.

Finally, the questions on everyone's lips have been answered. Providing they were related to the Poo Lit Surprise, and who was going to win. Other questions, unfortunately, remain unanswered. However, if you do want to know who won, and haven't found out already, you can find out here. We could just tell you here, but where's the fun in that?

We should, however, point out that if you haven't seen all of the articles yet, there are some real crackers amongst them, and not just the winners either - which probably reflects well on the Uncyclopedia Community as a whole, although it may just hint that everyone saved their best articles for this one small period of time and now has nothing else to offer for another 6 months. We'll see, but in the meantime, have a look at all the entries - there should be chuckles on offer whatever your sense of humo(u)r!

Check out these pages!

From our logs:

13:06, 8 August 2008, Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 60.54.79.28 (Talk) (expires 13:06, 9 August 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (Blanker: You disappoint Vishnu.)
19:45, 11 August 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Dxbn (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're a boob. Not the good kind, either. If you were, you'd have a nipple right 'there'. Just the thought of you being the good kind of boob makes me a little hard.)
19:51, 11 August 2008, Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.40.99.2 (Talk) (expires 19:51, 11 November 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (blanking is the lowest form of wit. Even lower than Steve Martin.)

Biopic of the Week

RadicalX ~ Since the dawn of Uncyclopedia, users have had the need for images. And RadX, himself created with Adobe Photoshop, has obliged. Even a quick look at his image gallery should cause you to drop to your knees and weep. He also is an extremely talented writer, and spends his time spreading the light of The Church of T with his prophet, Bradaphraser.

Old-school featured article of the week
Ever been knocked in the nards so badly that you saw stars, but never figured out who the culprit was? Well, it was probably midget cockpunching terrorists. These cheeky buggers have been assaulting the most sensitive area of such well-known figures as Frank Sinatra and Ronald Reagan for decades.

This Week's Horoscopes

GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week you should be self-centered in all your endeavors, except for grenade-tossing practice.

see more horoscopes

Shamless space-filler of the week

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Fired out of a newspaper cannon by: OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:38, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Gracias!

That's you! (the guy, not the dog)

For delivering the Unsignpost to everyone for two weeks in a row! Twas greatly appreciated. You win a most prestigious special cookie!

REGRETTENENBAUM has awarded you a "special" cookie for delivering the Unsignpost by hand and whatnot

(there's weed in it)

[edit] Join the UnOrder Today!

Join the Holy UnOrder of Uncylopedia today!

At the UnOrder, you can give yourself all of those rankings you

ever wanted! GUN (#1UN), KUN (♂UN), DUN (♀UN), and CUN (CUN

)!

Awards include:

Weiner of the Month (UWotM), B00b of the Month (BotM), and

Recyclopedian of the Month (RCotM)!

So, join the UnOrder today, and become a member of

the least known group on Uncyclopedia!

+ Mgr. Sire "oooooo oooo" ♂UN

[edit] 14 Years

I need some help researching this song. Do you think you could help me? --Ryanasaurus0077 20:18, 18 August 2008 (UTC)

i really don't see what else there is that can be said about a single song. you've already copied virtually the entire wikipedia article into 14 Years. The article about the remington steelers being a guns n' roses cover band consisting of the cast members of the harry potter movies was already determined to be unfit for the mainspace, so as it stands, there really isn't any way that i can see of improving this article to the point where it won't get deleted. my advice is to work on the remington steelers article, and move all of the remaining related articles (songs, albums, discographies) into your userspace so you'll still have them when you move remington steelers back to the mainspace. but until that article that connects everything is improved enough to return to the mainspace, anything else related to it will be pretty much shoot-on-sight for the admins. if you need any more help moving articles to your userspace to save them, let me know. for examples of a fictional band made up of real people, check out Hans Blix and the Weapons Inspectors and Taft Punk; those should give you some idea on how to make your concept work. for a full-on review, head over to pee review and request one; you can get a review for an article in your namespace. i think you should put your remington steelers article onto pee review and see what some of our best writers have to say concerning improving it. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:37, 18 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Newton

Please, go ahead and add what you like. I trust you not to fuck up. Commander An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays TALK 22:08, 18 August 2008 (UTC)

excellent. i'll try to improve it a little, feel free to rollback whatever ou think doesn't fit. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:20, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

Cool. Commander An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays TALK 20:03, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Ohai thar

thx2u for great hand delivery of uncyclopedic newsletter!

u need a handz for next tiem? call MantiBot for hawt secks. — Sir Manticore 05:18, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

awesome! yea i'll let you know when the next issue is ready, hopefully sometime thursday. OfficerGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:24, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] I'm drafting you...

...to my new Wiki at remingtonsteelers.wikia.com. (And no, that third period is NOT part of the URL.) --Ryanasaurus0077 20:42, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] One million thanks

For your pee review of the biology article. I will implement your proposals immediately. Fight the power. pillow talk 17:36, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] OMGWTFBBQ

Uncyclopedia:VFP/LOLOMGWTFBBQ.gif It may not be specifically for this article, but, the name is similar (but the image isn't why I voted keep). The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 21:06, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Review?

Hey, I really need a review for one of my UnNewses. Thanks a lot. + Mgr. Sire "oooooo oooo" ♂UN

your wish is my command. OfficerGerrycheevers