User talk:Gir.
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[edit] Welcome to our magnificent civilization!
Greetings, honored traveler Gir., and welcome to the glorious nation of Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions to the site. I hope you enjoy this great land and decide to make a home here. If not, the city exit is right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah, there you go. Anyway, here are a few helpful links for humble newcomers such as yourself:
If you read any of Uncyclopedia's sacred parchments, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with some sort of issue, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being a proud citizen of Uncyclopedia! Please remember to sign your name on all talk pages by typing four tildes (~~~~) or alternatively use the "sign" button (
) that you see just above the edit box. This will automatically produce both your name and the date.
If you need any sort of help, then feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Village Dump, or add the following template: {{help}} to this page along with a message describing your dilemma and someone will come along and help you if they can.
Again, welcome! -- 14:45, 22 March 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Welcome to UnNews
Did I forget to give you the welcome to UnNews template? If so, I apologise and present you with it, which you may piss upon at your leisure. Cheers rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 22:47, 2 May 2007 (UTC)
 | On your knees! Rev. Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and recieve the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. |
[edit] the important stuff about UnNews articles
Welcome to UnNews, Gir., and thank you for contributing some crap, or something. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an UnNews articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.
Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and dispepsia.
Although I am an UnNews god cretin and an omnipotent admin, I am also humble, and realize that I make mistakes. I try to allow for some slack in others as well. If your article has been deleted or NRVd by me, it probably sucked, and in my opinion was not worth saving. Things which may protect you from my delete stick are;
- Pics with captions
- Links to other Uncyclopedia thingies, like this [[thingie]]
- Pay attention to suggestions in the UnNews article template
- Sources, fill in the info {{source|url= |title= |author= |pub= |date=Mmmmm DD, YYYY}}
- if I see this "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY
- instead of a properly formatted source, I may take it as a sign from the gods to delete the article
I've reproduced some other pertinent links below from Uncyclopedia:Community Portal which I recommend you peruse.
Discussion and Visitor Information
- General Discussion about Uncyclopedia, questions, comments.
- If you're new read this
or you might be huffed.
- Information for new visitors to the site.
- We don't care how awesome you or your buddies are.
- Some helpful tips.
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers!
