User talk:GopherKiller

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Contents 1 Welcome! 2 INDEED! 3 Done 4 Alright, now the lowdown 5 Thanks for your vote! Have a whale! 6 Hey There 7 Welcome to UnNews 7.1 the important stuff about UnNews articles 8 Thank you 9 Thanks for the NotM vote! 10 UnNews 11 Prepare for the thanking of your life! 12 Tanks 4 teh votes 13 Shanks 14 Thanks! 15 THANKS!!!!11!!!!!111111111 16 Feel the power of science!! 17 Free template! 18 Have a not-shitty Christmas! 19 Bloody Pagans 20 One Of These 21 Holidays Frequently Occur in Winter! 22 Two messages from me in a row! 23 Well Hey There!! 24 Enjoy! 25 You there!

[edit] Welcome!

Hello, GopherKiller, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
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• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Grand General Wizard Etc x2 and Senator G/K/O/CUNT.K.F. WHORE! ZOTM MAFE VANDL UOTM WOTM TOP10 FP PMOTM UWotM 21:02, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] INDEED!

{

This user has been adopted by RAHB.

-RAHB 05:11, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Done

I finished. The last paragraph was pretty much Sex in a School Bag so I left it (mostly). Anyway, tell me if you like. Hope it fares you well.

[edit] Alright, now the lowdown

I was a bit busy last night when I got your message, so I put the template on quick and had to leave. Anyways, here's my speech-ish thing.

My name is RAHB, as you may have guessed. It seems as though you're going to be my adoptee. Contrary to popular belief, this is a great privelage, and I'm currently working on something, on and off, to distinguish my adoptees as an elite breed on Uncyclopedia. This will be through the use of fancy templates and badges and things, but also through a particular adopting method I'm fine-tuning. You may be one of the first to be involved, as you are now my newest adoptee.

Now to advice. I am here for you. If there is ever a question that needs asking, no matter how silly, or how embarrassing, ask me on my talk page. I've got your page watched, so I can see your replies when I talk here. You can watch my page by clicking the "watch" tab up above my profile. I'll generally be answering your questions on my talk page, where you post them, which is why you should watch it. Likewise, you can answer me, or whoever else talks to you, on your own page, as they'll usually expect that, and I will personally have your page watched, as I stated.

That's about all, go ahead and read the noob links in your welcome notice if you haven't; they're actually very helpful. Ask me if anything else needs any clearing up. Cheers! -RAHB 23:13, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

OOooh! One more thing! I'm in the IRC channel a lot, if you ever wanna check around there. Good for talking and...things like that. Anyways, that's all now. -RAHB 23:19, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

Wow, I'm not "special" enough for your little program RAHB? Anyway, GopherKiller, congrats on being RAHB's latest Noob slave. --- UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 03:04, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Thanks again RAHB! With the help of The UnIdiot and The LedBallon I got my IRC working so I am on there alot now. Still working on Caddyshack conspiracy If you would look it over that would be great. Also I need some help with a sig.Thanks GopherKiller Questions? Comments? 00:00, 20 September 2007 (UTC)

Hey no problem. I'll take a look at both later on, unfortunately I'm busy all day. If you can get someone else to do either, that's just fine. I'll do them both if they're free to do when I get back though. Cheers! -RAHB 17:07, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks for your vote! Have a whale!

The UnIdiot would like to award you with a authentic Kansas whale! Because apparently Kansas has oceans now! Treasure it always! Only 789,729 more left! Tell your friends! Thanks for voting on Kansas whaling!

[edit] Hey There

Sorry I wasn't able to take a look at your article yet. My internet was out for a few days and the ISP were being a bunch of asshats about it. I'm back on now though, so I'm going to give your article a thorough examination and review. -RAHB 23:23, 22 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Welcome to UnNews

On your knees! Rev. Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and recieve the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware.

[edit] the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, GopherKiller, and thank you for contributing some crap, or something. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an UnNews articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and dispepsia.

Although I am an UnNews god cretin and an omnipotent admin, I am also humble, and realize that I make mistakes. I try to allow for some slack in others as well. If your article has been deleted or NRVd by me, it probably sucked, and in my opinion was not worth saving. Things which may protect you from my delete stick are;

1. Pics with captions
2. Links to other Uncyclopedia thingies, like this [[thingie]]
3. Pay attention to suggestions in the UnNews article template
5. Sources, fill in the info {{source|url= |title= |author= |pub= |date=Mmmmm DD, YYYY}}

if I see this "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY

instead of a properly formatted source, I may take it as a sign from the gods to delete the article

I've reproduced some other pertinent links below from Uncyclopedia:Community Portal which I recommend you peruse.

Discussion and Visitor Information

• Village Dump

General Discussion about Uncyclopedia, questions, comments.

• Uncyclopedia:Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian

If you're new read this or you might be huffed.

• Help Portal and All About Uncyclopedia

Information for new visitors to the site.

• Vanity Policies

We don't care how awesome you or your buddies are.

• How To Get Started Editing Uncyclopedia

Some helpful tips.

• List of Admins
• Mediawiki Formatting Guide

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 19:53, 24 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thank you

This text is written in off-white, as opposed to white. It may be difficult to read, and you may have to strain you eyes or cheat and highlight it with your cursor to read it. CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! CHEATER! Thanks for voting for UnNews:White House discovered to be off-white!

Thank you! --- UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:37, Oct 1 00:37, 1 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks for the NotM vote!

Pfft, only a n00b would try this! Remember, you voted for me because I did this better than any other n00b on the site! Please accept this poorly made template! No, its all we have! GO AWAY! Thanks for voting for The UnIdiot!

Thwanks! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 21:24, Oct 1

[edit] UnNews

I noticed you were working on an UnNews yourself lately, and figured, since you seem to be "tuning it up", that I would drop you this link right here. Seriously, click it, you know you want to. I hope this helps! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:52, Oct 2

He's right. That link is one of the surprisingly helpful ones on Uncyc. -RAHB 20:07, 2 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Prepare for the thanking of your life!

Prepared yet? TOO LATE!

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a free sample of Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, for voting for Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A.
	What a mouth-full...

Thanks for voting for the page with the ridiculously long name! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:15, Oct 3

[edit] Tanks 4 teh votes

The UnIdiot wood like u 2 no thay reeding hells you improd u're readding nd wrting! Weeding is fund! Thanks for voting on UnNews:Studies show people who read are better at reading

Thank you for the vote! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:20, Oct 3

[edit] Shanks

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 16:48, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks!

	The UnIdiot wishes to acknowledge you for voting for UnNews:Iran to invade Iran, and hopes that you support Iran's plan to invade Iran.
	The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his persistent whoring!

Thanks again! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:51, Oct 12

[edit] THANKS!!!!11!!!!!111111111

	The UnIdiot has chosen to give you an AK-47 as thanks for voting on HowTo:Be safe with guns, and hopes that you will remember to be safe with your shiny new rifle. Don't shoot your eye out!
	The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his incredible amounts of whoring!

Thanks vote teh votzrs! - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 00:18, Oct 19

[edit] Feel the power of science!!

	The Led Balloon has awarded with the gift of sciencey knowledge, because he can already tell that you are smarter than that asshat judge was.
	Thanks for voting, and remember, magic science is all around us!

Thanks for the vote, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:26, Nov 12

[edit] Free template!

Enjoy - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 01:16, Nov 29

[edit] Have a not-shitty Christmas!

	Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
	Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:16, Dec 17

[edit] Bloody Pagans

Premier Tom Mayfair

[edit] One Of These

	HEY LOSER! Here's another semi-personalized (that's a lie) Merry Christmas template to add to the overwhelming pile you've got building up on your talk page right now. Have a Merry Christmas, or I'll come over there and make you have a Merry Christmas.
	If you don't already have a pile of these building up, you're a hopeless loser that nobody on Uncyclopedia likes...sorry. Yours truly, RAHB

Happy Holidays, or some such. -RAHB 03:38, 17 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Holidays Frequently Occur in Winter!

Have a nice vacation. --UnTalented 22:35, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Two messages from me in a row!

In recognition of your vote for UnNews:Liberal insurrection heroically crushed, Grand Adjudicator UnTalented hereby awards you with the Insignia of the Federal Dominion. Display it proudly, for it is a symbol of your pact of eternal servitude to us.

Thanks for your vote! --UnTalented 21:53, 19 December 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Well Hey There!!

Fancy seeing you here Gopherkiller! And on your talk page no less! Anyways, it looks like you had to go before I finished overhauling your article. Have a look next time you're around, I pretty much just rephrased lots of the things in it with bigger words, and tried to cut down the use of the word "legs" to make it more pleasing to readers. Let me know what you think, and feel free to change anything I wrote, as it is your article after all. Also, expect another, much more generic message from me at some point today concerning adoptions and things like that, as I'm probably going to be sending a how-do-you-do out to my adoptees. Cheers! -RAHB 00:41, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Enjoy!

There you go son! It's now your turn to take the good ol' family wooden condom. It's been in my family for years, passed through the generations. Slip it on boy, its your's now! Wear it with pride! The UnIdiot would like to thank you for voting his article to the front page!

[edit] You there!