User talk:J M Hoffman

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[edit] Heya

Welcome!

Hello, J M Hoffman, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Here are a few good links for n00bs:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or the use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome! ~ T. (talk) 10:34, 16 May 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Welcome to UnNews

Hello there, J M Hoffman. I enjoyed doing an audio for UnNews:Iran opens "Holocaust Revue", and particularly enjoyed mispronouncing your misspelling of "Achdungmeweebilovjan", or whatever it is. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 17:39, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers!

[edit] Prototype: how to do an unnews audio

Note: this crap is a work in progress

Jesus bought the Holy Ass, depicted here as a raptor, from zim in 1066 AD.

As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.

Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:

You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.

Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this

{{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.

Next, go to this page http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:

Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|

The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.

The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, so I look for new audio files to ~~delete~~ fix, or whatever. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC. Cheers!

[edit] xMAS

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me!
the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:56, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Bush sautes

Thanks for you kind words on my "work". Send me a 128Mb AGP 8x video card and we'll call it even... heh heh. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:27, 2 April 2007 (UTC)