User talk:Mr. turtle
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Contents |
[edit] Welcome to our magnificent civilization!
Greetings, honored traveler Mr. turtle, and welcome to the glorious nation of Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions to the site. I hope you enjoy this great land and decide to make a home here. If not, the city exit is right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah, there you go. Anyway, here are a few helpful links for humble newcomers such as yourself:
If you read any of Uncyclopedia's sacred parchments, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with some sort of issue, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being a proud citizen of Uncyclopedia! Please remember to sign your name on all talk pages by typing four tildes (~~~~) or alternatively use the "sign" button (
) that you see just above the edit box. This will automatically produce both your name and the date.
If you need any sort of help, then feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Village Dump, or add the following template: {{help}} to this page along with a message describing your dilemma and someone will come along and help you if they can.
Again, welcome! -- 01:18, 14 April 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Turtle
Listen, buddy, I think you're a great guy and everything, and I enjoy your work a lot, but your name is gonna have to go. You see, the name "Mr. Turtle" seems to imply that you: a) are a turtle, b) are a turtle expert, or c) enjoy the company of turtles. Now, this would be great, except for all three of these personality traits have already been registered at Uncyclopedia Headquarters to myself, and your name is now in direct violation of Uncyclopedia Code: Article 5, Section 1, Paragraph 16.
Normally in this situation, you would be given a period of 24 hours to contact an Uncyclopedia Bureaucrat, request a name change, and have all of your pages moved before the deadline. However, I've decided that your extreme interest in turtles, and witty name, merit you at least another 24 hours. So, just to be perfectly clear, please have your name changed to something having absolutely nothing to do with turtles, and have all your pages moved out of the Mr. turtle userspace within the next 48 hours.
And remember, failure to accomplish either of these tasks within the given period of time will result in an infinite ban from the site of Uncyclopedia.
Yours in turtle-hood truly, 
t o m p k i n s blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 03:11, 14 April 2007 (UTC)
- Also try to keep in mind that doing anything tompkins says is also grounds for several infinite bans. • Spang • UotF | talk • 03:17, 14 Apr 2007
- Also try to keep in mind FU Spang.
t o m p k i n s blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 03:23, 14 April 2007 (UTC)
- Also try to keep in mind FU Spang.
Dearest Mr. Turtle, everything I've said on this page has been a lie. There is no need to change you account or anything like that. I was just kidding. Sorry for any trouble I may have cause you. t o m p k i n s blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 16:43, 14 April 2007 (UTC)
- There can be but ONE Mister Turtle. I say you should fight it out in some ninja-style deathfest, involving nunchucks, and nunchucks with spikes on them. Its the only way. -- Sir Mhaille
(talk to me)
- NEVAR!!! I want my turtle-flavoured deathfest and I want it now. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- NEVAR!!! I want my turtle-flavoured deathfest and I want it now. -- Sir Mhaille
- Yeah....everyone knows that Tompkins is a pussy. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- Mr. Turtle here doesn't. t o m p k i n s blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 17:01, 14 April 2007 (UTC)
- Mr. Turtle here doesn't.
- Yeah....everyone knows that Tompkins is a pussy. -- Sir Mhaille
Did u know that turtles can't masturbate? -- Mister Turtle
- You're just not trying hard enough. Stick with Mister Tompkins here, he'll show you how its done. Also, use plenty of pig fat. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
[edit] On a totally unrelated matter...
I'm going to have to remove the self-referencing link in the quote you've just added to Asian Chicks. It IS against one of our site policies. Honestly it is. No really. -- Sir Mhaille 
(talk to me)
Why wouldn't you?--Mr. turtle 21:45, 14 April 2007 (UTC)Mr. turtle
[edit] Welcome to UnNews
You'll notice I've ICU-tagged your UnNews article, UnNews:Turtle attacks man. That's because it's ugly and needs to look and read a little better. Read on as I welcome you to UnNews telepathically, take over your mind, and you might just ressurect it into an awesome article! Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 01:29, 15 April 2007 (UTC)
 | On your knees! Rev. Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and recieve the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. |
[edit] the important stuff about UnNews articles
Welcome to UnNews, Mr. turtle, and thank you for contributing some crap, or something. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an UnNews articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.
Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and dispepsia.
Although I am an UnNews god cretin and an omnipotent admin, I am also humble, and realize that I make mistakes. I try to allow for some slack in others as well. If your article has been deleted or NRVd by me, it probably sucked, and in my opinion was not worth saving. Things which may protect you from my delete stick are;
- Pics with captions
- Links to other Uncyclopedia thingies, like this [[thingie]]
- Pay attention to suggestions in the UnNews article template
- Sources, fill in the info {{source|url= |title= |author= |pub= |date=Mmmmm DD, YYYY}}
- if I see this "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY
- instead of a properly formatted source, I may take it as a sign from the gods to delete the article
I've reproduced some other pertinent links below from Uncyclopedia:Community Portal which I recommend you peruse.
Discussion and Visitor Information
- General Discussion about Uncyclopedia, questions, comments.
- If you're new read this
or you might be huffed.
- Information for new visitors to the site.
- We don't care how awesome you or your buddies are.
- Some helpful tips.
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 01:29, 15 April 2007 (UTC)
i'll fix it.....maybe..........some other time--Mr. turtle 12:23, 15 April 2007 (UTC)
[edit] UnNews: Transfats found to be healthy
UnNews: Transfats found to be healthy is a vast improvement on your first couple of stories. The bad things? lost of spelling errors, no sources, no links. I'll give it a quick clean up so you can see the difference. Cheers! rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 22:50, 17 April 2007 (UTC)
- "lost of spelling errors" - I hope that was intentional. t o m p k i n s blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:07, 17 April 2007 (UTC)
To Mr. Turtle, you're welcome. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:21, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
- To Sir Thompkins, oh bloody Hell, why don't you just stick your nose into everybody's business... shit... sorry, I',m l;ate foe my medikatiosn... I'll be berrt,,, solluy,,;. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:21, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
- I just hate it when people stick their nose into conversations and point out other people's inadequacies. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- I just hate it when people stick their nose into conversations and point out other people's inadequacies. -- Sir Mhaille
- To Sir Thompkins, oh bloody Hell, why don't you just stick your nose into everybody's business... shit... sorry, I',m l;ate foe my medikatiosn... I'll be berrt,,, solluy,,;. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 00:21, 18 April 2007 (UTC)
Party in my pants --Mr. turtle 20:41, 24 April 2007 (UTC)
[edit] About Mr. turtle
VIsit Mr. turtle's page!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[edit] Long time
No see....you back editing now? -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
[edit]
Maybes --Mr. turtle 16:40, 22 September 2007 (UTC)
Good to see you back again. We need more reptilian contributors on Uncyclopedia. For me it's turtles all the way down.... -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
batman theme song stuck in my head for some reason. --Mr. turtle
[edit] Mr. turtle forgot password!!!!!
Speak to sannse to see if she can help you out... -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
