User talk:Regret Tenenbaum

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

“This isn't organised, this is compulsively tidy”

~ Orian57 on my talk page

“Freedom of speech! Your only family is Yettie, Orian, and your five brothers, and none of them care!”

~ Methamphetamine on Censoring RAEP(Misspelled on purpose)

My talk page. Organized to suit my need for organization... sigh... if only life was as organized as this... and if you want to add something, just put it anywhere and i'll someone will file it later... cheers!


Regret Tenenbaum - "":
TALK - 20:02, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
Hey, everyone! Lookie what Judge Zarbi made!


Rules*:

{{{4}}}

1. Regret has the right to revoke your freedom of speech.

2. Regret has the right to edit your comments to make you seem gay. or straight. whatever works.

3. Do not try to make Regret "come out of the closet", as he has no closet to begin with.

4. Anyone who does anything "ironic" (i.e. break all the rules in one fell swipe) will be punished via slap with a rubber chicken.

5. It's my talk page and I can cry if I want to.

6. If you enjoy the burger, the cow didn't die in vain.

7. Archive at 21,000 bytes!

{{{4}}}
{{{4}}}



{{{4}}} Archive I - Prehistory to 8 Sep, 2008 {{{4}}} Archive II - 9 Sep, 2008 to 24 Sep 2008 {{{4}}}



Contents



[edit] Is this where I say rape?

Boy, I hope so... RAPE! --Pleb Dexter111344 • Complain here • Vote now! 00:31, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

That was fucking FAST' ... how do you do it? -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 00:34, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
Ha! Dex shoots too fast! Me and Methy have been Raping RT for days! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:01 25 September 2008
Sad, but true. T_T -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:12, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
/Continues tormenting RT's anus. You're so tight babe you know that? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:18 25 September 2008
I know... loosen it up for me, will ya? -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:20, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
If you get any looser you end up shitting out you're internal organs. But your tight enough for me, seen as how I have nothing to compare you to. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:22 25 September 2008
I wish you could have seen my face when I read that. You can really shit out your internal organs? Srsly? SRSLY? -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:28, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
Yes. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:29 25 September 2008
Oh, gawd. In that case, can you slow down? I sorta need my organs and shit. -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:33, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
You don't need your shit actually. Unless you're really, really possesive. And no, I'll push them back with my thrusting. *thrustthrustthust!!!* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:35 25 September 2008
No! That's not what I meant! Not like organs also shit, more like organs and stuff So, like, yeah.......... nevermind -_- -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:40, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
*thrustthrustthust!!!* What was that, babe? *thrustthrustthust!!!* You're just a piece of ass I wasn't listening. *Smacks RT's ass* Yeah bitch! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:43 25 September 2008
Oh, great, now there's gore and feces all over my new carpet! (I'm gonna get T3 to pay for that moohahahaha!) -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:47, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
Oh christ man! You could have at least gone before I came! Now there's gore and faeces all over my penis. I think I'll get you to clean this up. With your tongue. Wait I'm getting disgusting now. I'm going to bed, ride out this flu delerium. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:50 25 September 2008
Alrighty. I gotta do my homework anyways. Get well soon! ... no... Get well now! -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:53, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
Why don't you clean out my blood stream? With your tongue. And thanks, Nighty night now. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 23:58 25 September 2008
Hope you die of flu! - [15:38 26 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
You ever read Stephen King's The Stand? Now that is a good book, esspecciallly the first two thirds. I only bring this up because in it 99.4% of the population dies of a geneticallly modified flu virus. *sniffle* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 07:36 27 September 2008
Gasp! I'm a Stephen King fanatic! But, alas, I haven't read the Stand... Did you know that Stephen King is, like, psychic or something? He predcted 9/11 in "The Running Man" and the Virigina Tech thing in "Rage" ... weird how he only predicts bad things... -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 19:54, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
I've only read The Stand and Cell but both are sure favourites. Not to put a damper on things but it's unlikly he predicted those events, just dreamed up events like the ones that happened. Not too hard to think of a shooting in a school to be honest, and planes destroying buildings is something I gave a thought or two before 9/11, but meh, whatever: he's a fantastic author. I'm part way through one of his novellas The Langoliers, it's fantastic! Richard Laymon is an author you should look into if you havent already, he's one of my favourites, I have everything he ever wrote! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:55 28 September 2008

[edit] You broke it!!!

My talk page! I can't edit it because you made teh text too big. Rectify this at once. And tehn get on your knees and suck me off. Actualy suck me now, I'm all stressed. Then fix it! You jack ass! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 06:54 29 September 2008

[edit] For my shiny new sig...

Original Ninjastar
For my bitchin' shiny new sig –Colin "All your base" Heaney


Also giving me one less thing to do after school. Colin {{{4}}}Heaney! {{{4}}} 22:57, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Shit! I Forgot About Your Birthday!

Happy Birthday! I was like really busy yesterday, sorry. Oh well I was going to make you template and write a little lymeric or haiku about you being older and therefore slightly less illegal and about how you will hopefully be my sex slave for another 16 years but then I didn't. Happy birthday, mate! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:18 1 October 2008

In that case, I gotta say happy birthday too...



HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Come to court! See what I have judged! Block me! 15:22, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

What the fuck you trying to do? Out-shine me? Well how do you like these lemons? /Pulls top up to reveal very full man breasts Eh!? You wanna milk these puppies!? Oh my god! I just had one of those revealation things! God wants me to be a strip-o-gram! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:25 1 October 2008
I'm trying to say happy birthday louder than you! MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Come to court! See what I have judged! Block me! 15:27, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
/Puts a boom-box in the center of the room and plays Beat It (by michael jackson) then proceedes to gove everyone in the room a lap dance. And I'm trying to say Happy Birthday sexier than you! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:30 1 October 2008
Shit...You won. This time. MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Come to court! See what I have judged! Block me! 15:32, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

Thanks guys :D I appreciate it! In real life, I had TWO cakes! And a pizza! Yay! I'll get you guys a big cake-shaped template for your birthdays! (if I can figure out when they are :P) -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:11, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

Whimpers off in corner for not knowing when RT's birthday is... (fucking edit conflict) Colin {{{4}}}Heaney! {{{4}}} 23:30, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

When are your birthdays? (if you feel like answering...) Hehehe Colin, I find your sig so entertaining... XD -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:43, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
(My birthday is on my userpage...) Hmmm...that's good, considering you made it! Colin {{{4}}}Heaney! {{{4}}} 02:13, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
10th of April. You owe me a cake damn it! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 05:36 2 October 2008
Hah! My birthday is 8 days before yours! :p Colin {{{4}}}Heaney! {{{4}}} 15:50, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
Yeah but I'm younger and more attractive than you so it ballances out. Probably. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:03 2 October 2008
(That would make you a little young, sonny boy.) Sticks tongue out at Orian Well, I've been here longer than you. Seniority wins. Back in my day, I had to walk 15 miles uphill both ways in the snow at 50 degrees below 0 in my underpants. Colin {{{4}}}Heaney! {{{4}}} 16:16, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
Fuck colin, your birthday is 1 day after mine. I was born on April fools day!! MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Come to court! See what I have judged! Block me! 00:06, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
what is this? a contest to see who was born earliest in teh month of April? What if someone comes along that was born earlier on teh first? what'll you do then Judge? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:34 4 October 2008

HAPPEY BERTHDAEY! - [07:17 5 October] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie

Oh you're only like a centuary late. god he's probably broken most of the new toys he got and the cakes are long since digested. You might as well have said Happy New Year. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:53 5 October 2008
It's ok, Yettie. Although Orian's right, I already got chocolate all over the shirt my mom got me and other crap no one cares about. Nevertheless, thanks Yettie! -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 20:11, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
I'm only like six or something days late. That's well not late. Like. Yeah! - [16:47 6 October] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie

[edit] UnSignpost: October 3rd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

October 2nd, 2008 • ALL-KITTEN ISSUE • Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

Uncyclopedia's Name Changed

By Cajek

According to Wikia staff member Sannse, Uncyclopedia's advertising revenue is below expectations and must rename itself to appeal to the younger generation. "I think the problem is that 'Uncyclopedia' has lost its edge," Sannse said to a crowd of squirrels and kittens gathered around the Uncyclo-stables last Saturday, "...all of which is contained in its name."

Older users, like Mordillo, the jew who secretly controls "Uncyc," and TheLedBalloon, who is an inanimate balloon, strongly petition for the name to stay the same. The Unsignpost couldn't be bothered to actually read the forum that Sannse created, but we're assuming that everyone's against changing the name to "Asparagus.org" or something.

The name change will reflect the personalities and interests of every single contributor. "Yeah, Asparagus.org is gonna have to do until we figure out what would be a good name," Sannse yelled at a local gathering of squirrels in Uncyclopedia's break room. Many users have complained about the change, but not AsparagusSignPost, which has run into a little trouble with the law recently, and doesn't want to go back to jail by disobeying "the man" or causing "drama". Because, as we ALL know, some head writers have been banned a whole bunch of times for being "different".

So to Asparagus.org we say: "Keep the funnies coming, unless someone is forecasting your doom again..."


Uncyclopedia's Doom Forecasted

By Gerrycheevers

For the first time in over two weeks, the flaming death of this silly wiki has been predicted in some form. Last time it was that stain that looked puzzlingly like Jimbo Wales, the time before it was that bird that flew overhead. You know the one I mean. This time around, undead user Necropaxx has pointed out several recent disturbing trends that seem to mean only one thing: Uncyc is about to suffer its death throes. It seems this time that the demise of the wiki will also utterly destroy the souls of every one of the dozens of users who contribute here regularly. Tidings such as this have frightened new users such as September NotM Multiliteralist, who had his to say: "Oh no."

Several of the signs that Uncyclopedia is doomed are unarguably true: VFP is stagnant due to the lack of Zombiebaron activity. The Pee Review queue is backed up worse than a public toilet after Cinco de Mayo. Modusoperandi seems to be malfunctioning, as he has dispensed with his usual biting wit in favor of just plain biting. It appears, in at least a few users' eyes, that Uncyc has "jumped the kitten".

Lack of News Wreaks Havoc on UnSignpost

By Regret Tenenbaum

In an unprecedented press conference earlier this week, UnSignpost editor-in-chief Mr. Gerry Cheevers (the user, not the hockey player) admitted that "This week's issue is actually still a blank template", further stating "I've been swamped at work, and today developed cold-like symptoms." However, some experts disagree on the cause of an UnSignpost devoid of news. "There is an obvious explanation for the lack of gratifying news stories in the USP this week," said Mr. News Guy, the world-renowned news reporter, kitten enthusiast, and unicycle-fetish expert. "There is just no news to report on," he continued, to which the reporter we borrowed from UnNews responded "And what's causing this lack of news?" "That's just it! There's no news to report on!" "So... you're saying is, the reason there's no news is because there's no news?" "Exactly! And it's just a matter of time until some attention whore writes a stupid and redundant story on the fact that there's no news!"

This story is dedicated to the memory of Mr. News Guy, whose body was recovered from the Los Angeles river the next day.

Check out these pages!
From our logs:
  • 7:41, 20 September 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Just got back. Haven't banned Cajek in a month. Gotta get my fix. CLICK. Aaaaaah yeeeeeahhh. That's gooood shit.)
  • 19:36, 21 September 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Reggie4 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You have 2 cows. Both of them are banned.)
  • 12:16, 23 September 2008 Cajek (Talk | contribs) blocked a kitten (Talk | contibs) with an expiry time of 4 hours (it's lonely in the ban room, i want a friend)
  • 19:01, 24 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.236.90.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I tire of your actions. Begone, ye pointlessness, from yon wiki.)
  • 06:59, 1 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.106.6.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Pro Cat-in-the-hat vandalism? I think the internet just hit a new low.)
Biopic of the Week

DJ Irreverent:

HAS A LIL'

KITTEN!!!

Old School Featured Article of the Week

Kitten Huffing is the newest form of street activity that is corrupting the youth of the nation. Your nation, that is. By ingesting kittens nasally, one can enjoy a euphoric 'high' of sorts, complete with snazzy colors and loss of motor skills. A prepped kitten awaiting huffing is pictured. Kitten huffing has spawned many parodies and non-existant memes, but the act of snorting live kittens is no joke.

This Week's Horoscopes
GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE
  • Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Enjoy the time you spend with your kitten this week because...um...just in case...
People with Kittens this week

This guy.

Sabbatical of the Week

Zombiebaron has taken an extended leave to ease his undead mind and change out his forest-green blood. He may or may not be traveling to some of the most luxurious and tropical destinations that Canada has to offer. He may or may not still ban you while he is away. His sabbatical may or may not be kitten-related. Stay tuned to the UnSignpost for the latest developments on ZB's location.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
-- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 23:42, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Thank you

Image:Newcookie.gif JZ has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.


- For getting off your lazy backside for once and doing something :P MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Come to court! See what I have judged! Block me! 00:07, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

What you meant to do was thank me for getting off RT's lazy (yet overused) backside and allowing him to do something for a change. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 00:32 4 October 2008
I do stuff! Remember that time I made that template? And that other time when I did that thing! Remember? -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 01:26, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
Also, I wrote this thing that no one ever read. -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 04:34, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
I'm sorry who are you? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 09:47 4 October 2008
Who am I? I am the great Spamdini, my boy! I was the first man to get laid on the summit of Mt. Everest! I built you with my bare hands! Ungrateful little cretin! i COMMAND YOU TO PRESS MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON! dEW IT! -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 14:28, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
Can't I just go back to pressing your prostate? SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 16:02 4 October 2008
What part of "GO FUCK YOURSELF" don't you understand? -- C.B.D. Sire RT SCWotM! 18:37, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
I think his IQ is OVER 9000!! too low to understand a simple command like that. MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Come to court! See what I have judged! Block me! 18:39, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
/Starts raping Judge. Oh wait! what kind of stereotype am I? Raping everything liek this, i should be trying to avoid giving gays a negative image... meh. /goes back to humping SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 19:56 4 October 2008

[edit] Do you do reviews?

Well you do now! Please? I'll be your best friend for the rest of all time! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:39 7 October 2008

[edit] Other

Mafia Stuff-ish
UnSignposts