User talk:The dark prince
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You just dialed TDP for The Dark Prince. Fire away.
[edit] Rules
DON'T LITTER WITH CRAPPY POSTSHuh? Say what?
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[edit] Care to comment on the new google browser? - feel free
[edit] I heard you turned on the Mordillo spot and aimed it to the sky
How can I help? ~
16:48, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Hello
I hear you have pie. - [10:42 2 September] Sir FSt Don 
Yettie
- lol! ok - role playing it is then.(sits on the sofa)
And yea - I'd love for you to adopt me(so does that make me YOUR virtual son?) The dark prince 18:34, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- Yes it would do. Unfortunately, you can't sit on a sofa on your talkpage, as the sofa was on mine! DUH! That is such a bad msitake, you could totally get a year length ban for that! :-D Anyway, just get rid of all or any {{Adopt Me}}s in your userspace and put {{Adoptee|YesTimeToEdit}} on your userpage. If yu want help with userpage, a custom sig, articles or any coding you can drop me a line. Adoption doesn't mean anything fixed - it's just I'm the poor sucker you should turn to help from. :-) - [11:07 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
Dear sir, you art adopted. Here are a few tips...
- Socialise. Go around talking to people, and being helpful, don't worry about mistakes - you're new. Get to know people and have fun. Don't take what people say too seriously though (for example: The dark prince is a total idiot).
- We have a forum, here you may enjoy.
- Do stuff!! Never revert other people's reverts. If you have a problem with another user's actions go and ask them politely on their talk page about it. If you don't get a civil response then go to an admin or to me.
- Don't try and be confrontational.
- Have fun and don't be afraid.
- [11:28 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- One more thing would be to sign your posts on talk pages with four tildes. Like, type this: -~~~~ to get something like this: - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 16:12, Sep 2
- Except for you your sig will be very plain, TDP (is it okay to call you that...it's the best shortening I can think of at the mo!). - [16:14 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Yea- gotcha on the sudden death article. How do i get rid of it?(I'm thinking of doing it by myself soon) And yea, TDP is just fine. The dark prince 16:17, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- Okay, TDP, a little warning. Your last edit, although you may not have noticed it, essentially reverted my revert. You shouldn't really delete your welcome message. Also! Each edit has a summary, sometimes these summaries have quite useful...er...summary stuff in them, and you should take note of them. They appear in italics. Also, your first task, I would say would to replace all the text in that grey box - underneath "Welcome to the talkpage" bit - with your own text. If you wanted the Pee page you could find yourself a nice admin - such as TLB (the guy who commented above) - and asked them very nicely to delete the page (and provide a link). Remember to be nice with lots of pleases! :-) - [16:22 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- oh - ok. sorry! So you're telling me that I should keep the welcome page?(Cause it looked kinda dull!). And yea - I will ask(politely and pleadingly) the admin to delete it. The dark prince 18:34, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- It's really a welcome note. I would keep it so that you can always refer to it. Also it is not an automated message (it's essentially copy 'n' pasted by real humans) and so it can be slightly frustrating to the welcomer to see all their welcomes getting deleted by noobs who say they look dull. Welcome messages contain a lot of good advice. - [16:43 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- lol - gotcha. won't happen again. The dark prince 18:35, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- I see you remembered, and came back to put the sig on there! Good. And it certanily won't happen again, cause I don't reckon you'll get welcomed a second time. :P - [18:36 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- hehe - good point. And what do the "m"'s and the arrows on the "watchlist" indicate? The Dark Prince 18:38, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- "M" means minor. Minor is a minor edit...a small edit. To make your edit a minor edit check the "This is a minor edit" checkbox, next to "Watch this page". And what arrows?? Also I suggest you go and introduce yourself to Orian. He's cool, but beware he's gay (be careful not to stand too close or you could catch gayness). - [18:40 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Okie - I'll drop in on his talk page... soon. I was starting a community for uncyclopedia on this social networking site orkut and was wondering if you were interested to join. Figured it would attract more users, and hence more articles. The Dark Prince 20:12, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- "M" means minor. Minor is a minor edit...a small edit. To make your edit a minor edit check the "This is a minor edit" checkbox, next to "Watch this page". And what arrows?? Also I suggest you go and introduce yourself to Orian. He's cool, but beware he's gay (be careful not to stand too close or you could catch gayness). - [18:40 2 September] Sir FSt Don
- hehe - good point. And what do the "m"'s and the arrows on the "watchlist" indicate? The Dark Prince 18:38, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- I see you remembered, and came back to put the sig on there! Good. And it certanily won't happen again, cause I don't reckon you'll get welcomed a second time. :P - [18:36 2 September] Sir FSt Don
- lol - gotcha. won't happen again. The dark prince 18:35, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- It's really a welcome note. I would keep it so that you can always refer to it. Also it is not an automated message (it's essentially copy 'n' pasted by real humans) and so it can be slightly frustrating to the welcomer to see all their welcomes getting deleted by noobs who say they look dull. Welcome messages contain a lot of good advice. - [16:43 2 September] Sir FSt Don
- oh - ok. sorry! So you're telling me that I should keep the welcome page?(Cause it looked kinda dull!). And yea - I will ask(politely and pleadingly) the admin to delete it. The dark prince 18:34, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- Okay, TDP, a little warning. Your last edit, although you may not have noticed it, essentially reverted my revert. You shouldn't really delete your welcome message. Also! Each edit has a summary, sometimes these summaries have quite useful...er...summary stuff in them, and you should take note of them. They appear in italics. Also, your first task, I would say would to replace all the text in that grey box - underneath "Welcome to the talkpage" bit - with your own text. If you wanted the Pee page you could find yourself a nice admin - such as TLB (the guy who commented above) - and asked them very nicely to delete the page (and provide a link). Remember to be nice with lots of pleases! :-) - [16:22 2 September] Sir FSt Don
- Yea- gotcha on the sudden death article. How do i get rid of it?(I'm thinking of doing it by myself soon) And yea, TDP is just fine. The dark prince 16:17, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- Except for you your sig will be very plain, TDP (is it okay to call you that...it's the best shortening I can think of at the mo!). - [16:14 2 September] Sir FSt Don
- One more thing would be to sign your posts on talk pages with four tildes. Like, type this: -~~~~ to get something like this: - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
[edit] From Mordillo's Talkpage...
...
- Okie. And by the way, I'm going to be done with the article on Death pretty soon. How do I get some one to review it and get the "warning - this page sucks and is going to be deleted pretty darn soon" status removed? The Dark Prince 09:59, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- My first thoughts on the article are this: Far, far too many quotes and far, far too many lists. You can submit it to Pee Review via the little submit box at the bottom. However, be prepared to get a not-too-positive review. Don't worry, all first few articles aren't stunning. - [10:02 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- 10-4. I actually wanted to talk to you about the quotes thing. I did remove quite a lot of quotes but a certain someone un-did a few a the changes, saying that it was, in fact, funny. I would love to remove 'em again but I don't really want to get into an argument. Any advice O holy one?(*Sits on some sofa eating some pie*) The Dark Prince 10:08, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- The box thingy wasn't supposed to be there. what the hell just happened?! The Dark Prince 10:10, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- 10-4. I actually wanted to talk to you about the quotes thing. I did remove quite a lot of quotes but a certain someone un-did a few a the changes, saying that it was, in fact, funny. I would love to remove 'em again but I don't really want to get into an argument. Any advice O holy one?(*Sits on some sofa eating some pie*) The Dark Prince 10:08, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- My first thoughts on the article are this: Far, far too many quotes and far, far too many lists. You can submit it to Pee Review via the little submit box at the bottom. However, be prepared to get a not-too-positive review. Don't worry, all first few articles aren't stunning. - [10:02 3 September] Sir FSt Don
- Okie. And by the way, I'm going to be done with the article on Death pretty soon. How do I get some one to review it and get the "warning - this page sucks and is going to be deleted pretty darn soon" status removed? The Dark Prince 09:59, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Did you start the Death article? I would personally just get rid of all the quotes you don't like and if they get undone again go and talk to that user on his talkpage. You could ask him politely about his ideas for the article etc. - [10:22 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
[edit] Signature Wise
What do you think to this? I made it specially for you. It's quite simple, but quite styly...or so I thinki. What do you think, honestly? - [10:40 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- lol! It's great! I'll take it. (Wait, how do I make it my sig?) The Dark Prince 10:43, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Okay! What you need to do is go "my prefereces" up the top right of the screen. Then scroll down to "Signature" and replace all the text in that box (if there is any) with {{SUBST:nosubst|User:The dark prince/sig}}. Then check the "raw signature" button and save. When you next sign with four tildes you'll get that signature + the date. If you want me to create a custom timestamp for you as well, I'm happy to help. - [10:47 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- testing ~ Dark 10:52, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Hurray! It works! And about time stamp - yes please. I'd like it to match the colour of my sig, and smaller in size than it is now. Don't really care for the format. ~ Dark 10:52, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- The talk part didn't work but it was just a misplaced undersign. I'm more psyched about trying to learn how to create stuff like this! ~ Dark 10:54, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Heh, that talkpage link thing was odd. Anyway, if you like the time style thing here then just copy all of that code into your "signatures" box in "my preferences" and put it after the {{SUBST:nosubst|User:The dark prince/sig}} bit. Make sure "raw signature" is still checked and then save. Now it is important that you only sign with three tildes. Cool? - [11:15 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Oh and maybe tomorrow, or whenever, you're free I can give you a quick formatting lesson, so that you get to grips with how to use wikicode/css/html? - [11:16 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- I'm ready when you are. And oh - there seems to be a problem with the sig. It proper in the the dark prince/sig plage but there seems to be some error while it's added here. ~ Dark
- Oh and maybe tomorrow, or whenever, you're free I can give you a quick formatting lesson, so that you get to grips with how to use wikicode/css/html? - [11:16 3 September] Sir FSt Don
- Heh, that talkpage link thing was odd. Anyway, if you like the time style thing here then just copy all of that code into your "signatures" box in "my preferences" and put it after the {{SUBST:nosubst|User:The dark prince/sig}} bit. Make sure "raw signature" is still checked and then save. Now it is important that you only sign with three tildes. Cool? - [11:15 3 September] Sir FSt Don
- The talk part didn't work but it was just a misplaced undersign. I'm more psyched about trying to learn how to create stuff like this! ~ Dark 10:54, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Hurray! It works! And about time stamp - yes please. I'd like it to match the colour of my sig, and smaller in size than it is now. Don't really care for the format. ~ Dark 10:52, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- testing ~ Dark 10:52, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Okay! What you need to do is go "my prefereces" up the top right of the screen. Then scroll down to "Signature" and replace all the text in that box (if there is any) with {{SUBST:nosubst|User:The dark prince/sig}}. Then check the "raw signature" button and save. When you next sign with four tildes you'll get that signature + the date. If you want me to create a custom timestamp for you as well, I'm happy to help. - [10:47 3 September] Sir FSt Don
~ Dark 14:16, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- The "The" goes bold on this page, right? That's because all links that are not already bold become bold when they're on the page they're linking to...wiki links that is. - [15:14 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- No - the talk part of the sig doesn't always work. The link I mean, I doesn't always act as a link. And tell me when you are free and I'll be here to take lessons. Though it is more likely that you'll find me online during 12:00 - 16:00 (UTC). But I can usually make it if you tell me a time in advance. ~ Dark 15:27, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Yes, Wiki links go bold and lose their linky powers when they're put on the page they're linking too. Also, if you want you should have a go at sticking that time code into your preferences. - [15:30 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Just got what you meant. And the time code doesn't fit into the preferences. and when I add it to the sig page and try to load the whole thing as one, everything goes haywire. ~ Dark 15:33, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Try putting this after your sig in the preferences page, then...{{subst:User:The dark prince/time}}. - [15:57 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Try putting this after your sig in the preferences page, then...{{subst:User:The dark prince/time}}. - [15:57 3 September] Sir FSt Don
- Just got what you meant. And the time code doesn't fit into the preferences. and when I add it to the sig page and try to load the whole thing as one, everything goes haywire. ~ Dark 15:33, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Yes, Wiki links go bold and lose their linky powers when they're put on the page they're linking too. Also, if you want you should have a go at sticking that time code into your preferences. - [15:30 3 September] Sir FSt Don
- No - the talk part of the sig doesn't always work. The link I mean, I doesn't always act as a link. And tell me when you are free and I'll be here to take lessons. Though it is more likely that you'll find me online during 12:00 - 16:00 (UTC). But I can usually make it if you tell me a time in advance. ~ Dark 15:27, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
[edit] 10-4
It's a ten code thingy used my cops and emergency response groups. Basically means either of the following:
- Okay
- Understood
- Affirmative
The Dark Prince 10:46, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Why not used, good old-fashioned "Roger"? - [10:47 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Well I could do that, but I learnt this recently and want to use it. It's like a phase. Keep having weird ones. And is it just me or are almost all the uncyclopedians guys? ~ Dark 10:56, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Practically all Uncyclopedians are guys...so if you've come looking for girls you're at the wrong place ;). All though the Wikia Staff member who helps look after Uncyc (Sannse) is a feminine type...and there's a few more. - [11:09 3 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Wasn't looking to score here - was just curious. Feminine type men - that's just gross. ~ Dark 15:36, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
- Practically all Uncyclopedians are guys...so if you've come looking for girls you're at the wrong place ;). All though the Wikia Staff member who helps look after Uncyc (Sannse) is a feminine type...and there's a few more. - [11:09 3 September] Sir FSt Don
- Well I could do that, but I learnt this recently and want to use it. It's like a phase. Keep having weird ones. And is it just me or are almost all the uncyclopedians guys? ~ Dark 10:56, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Welcome to the Mafia!
You made a good choice there, friend. I hope you don't mind the fact that an Italian enrolled you... anywho, if there's anything you need or want (advice, css stuff and whatnot) feel free to ask me or dad. By the way, spiffy sig you got there! :D -- REGRETTENENBAUM TALK! 00:28, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
- I'm the dad of both of you. And I helped him with the sig, so I'm paternally proud...and stuff. - [15:32 4 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Your Mafia name is Mr. Nikolai "Dark" Prince. You can find more enrolment details on the enrolment page (here)...just look for the text under your user name. All the Mafia boys (and girl) hang out here, the bar... There's also a private Russian bar (here) which just allows the Russian wing. Hope you enjoy it! If you'd like a special mafia sig (you may or may not have seen them floating around, you get a hat...) ask me or one of the boys. Mafiacheers. - [15:45 4 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- (this message was supposed to be posted before your's - it's not my fault that my internet connection sucks)Thanks for enrolling. Nope, I don't mind. I joined the russians for the violence and sex only. And yea, the awesome sig was designed by "dad"(I'm scared that one day, I might forget to add the double quotes). So what exactly does the mafia do? And what am I expected to do as a part of it?! ~ Dark• 15:48 • 4 Sep •
- You're supposed to socialise with other Maifoso at the bar. That's an order, solider, and generally do Mafioso business. I'm the Don by the way, so yeh. Also...there's this page for announcements. Also, you need to have ago at setting up your mafia account (or getting someone to help you with it) here. We like to raise money as detailed here. Why don't you help us out there, it's very simple!!! - [17:17 4 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- I gave you a dollar, for now. Hey, how come it doesn't say I have $200 for joining?! Some one took me for a ride. Give me my money punk. ~ Dark• 12:26 • 5 Sep •
- Someone who's not lazy arsed like me, needs to establish your account for you. That's what I meant, and that's when you'll get your $200. - [16:01 5 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- And this is something I can't do myself? If not, who do I need to go to? ~ Dark• 16:14 • 5 Sep •
- Yay! I got paid! And yea, I'll watch out for crazy people. ~ Dark• 17:51 • 5 Sep •
- Someone who's not lazy arsed like me, needs to establish your account for you. That's what I meant, and that's when you'll get your $200. - [16:01 5 September] Sir FSt Don
- I gave you a dollar, for now. Hey, how come it doesn't say I have $200 for joining?! Some one took me for a ride. Give me my money punk. ~ Dark• 12:26 • 5 Sep •
- You're supposed to socialise with other Maifoso at the bar. That's an order, solider, and generally do Mafioso business. I'm the Don by the way, so yeh. Also...there's this page for announcements. Also, you need to have ago at setting up your mafia account (or getting someone to help you with it) here. We like to raise money as detailed here. Why don't you help us out there, it's very simple!!! - [17:17 4 September] Sir FSt Don
- (this message was supposed to be posted before your's - it's not my fault that my internet connection sucks)Thanks for enrolling. Nope, I don't mind. I joined the russians for the violence and sex only. And yea, the awesome sig was designed by "dad"(I'm scared that one day, I might forget to add the double quotes). So what exactly does the mafia do? And what am I expected to do as a part of it?! ~ Dark• 15:48 • 4 Sep •
- Your Mafia name is Mr. Nikolai "Dark" Prince. You can find more enrolment details on the enrolment page (here)...just look for the text under your user name. All the Mafia boys (and girl) hang out here, the bar... There's also a private Russian bar (here) which just allows the Russian wing. Hope you enjoy it! If you'd like a special mafia sig (you may or may not have seen them floating around, you get a hat...) ask me or one of the boys. Mafiacheers. - [15:45 4 September] Sir FSt Don
[edit] UnSignpost: September 4th, 2008
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
September 4th, 2008 • Eighteenth Issue • STOP!! SIGNPOST TIME!!
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Uncyclopedia copies Conservapedia  Recently, on the fact-based no-spin-zone wiki known as Conservapedia, there has been debate raging over whether to ban all atheists from contributing. Apparently conservapedians believe atheists (those who deny the existence of the creator) to be at the very least a hinderance, and at the very most a hideous group of venom-spitting demon-eyed savages who feed on the blood of children. If this motion garners enough support it may become a 'Conservapedia Commandment', along with 'no girls allowed' and 'slow down, this is a neighborhood.' Mild amusement and complete apathy were rampant among Uncyclopedians yesterday. Some poked fun at the silly conservatives for proposing such a Nazi-esque measure. Others took up the reigns in a new thread: should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia? It seems support for this action is widespread, and soon 'Cthulhu tests' will be administered to random users at random times. Failure of such tests will result in soul consumption. User Heerenveen had this to say: "I believe that it shouldn't matter whether you are an avid worshipper of Cthulhu, just someone who pretends to like Cthulhu to fit in with your mates, or indeed a foaming-at-the-crotch atheist (of Cthulhu), you should be infinibanned from Uncyc regardless. Unless, of course, you are Cajek," to which Orian57 added, "Richard Dawkins is so sexy." As is the norm here on Uncyclopedia, the controversy was immediately parodied, and then the parody of the controversy was summarily parodied. It has yet to be seen whether the parody of the parody will in fact be parodied.
IN A WORLD where JUSTICE is a distant memory...where HOPE seems desperately out of reach...where THROATY BARITONES are hard to come by... ...ONE MAN performed voice-overs for OVER NINETY FOUR THOUSAND FILMS. His DEEPLY SONOROUS VOICE could turn even the most BORING movie into AN ALL-OUT THRILLER... ...Most famously known for THAT GEICO COMMERCIAL HE DID, that man's NAME was DON LAFONTAINE. Critics hailed him as 'THAT MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY' and 'THE DUDE WITH THE CRAZY VOICE'... ...On Monday, LaFontaine PASSED AWAY suddenly when a FIERY EXPLOSION in a SHRAPNEL FACTORY caused the TURBO-CHARGED SPORTSCAR in which he was being pursued by MONGOL HORDES to CAREEN OVER A CLIFF. He was 68...
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[edit] Important Mafia Business!
Hello-a there, fellow killers and maimartists, this is your Don, here. I'd just-a like to tell you that we've had a little jumble up on the Family ladder of honour. The Russian "Digits" has been granted the special title of "Capo Bastone". "Dotnot" and "Grieve" have been made "Capo Bastone Delegato", and will be working closely with Digits as his assistants. A full list of their permissions can be found here.
-- C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum 18:33, 7 September 2008 (UTC)
[edit] CMC
Welcome, The dark prince, to the Glorious Cow Moo Cult!
You're in! You clearly fit these requirements and the Cows, obviously, smile upon you. You are currently a "Mud Grunt" by rank. You can officially put the {{User:YesTimeToEdit/Mgr}} template wherever you want on your userpage or talk page and can add "Mgr." to the beginning of your signature.
Your cow duties include...
Watchlisting this page
Promoting, whoring and inviting people to the CMC - you can use this to help you
Following any CMC orders
I'm happy to answer any questions here. Oh and it's advised you read these (loose) rules. You are now one of the few with the Cows on your side.
Sorry for such a long wait!! And sorry I didn't give you a personal invitation. I didn't no that cow would be, er, your thing. Anyway have a good cowing time.
Let the moo be with you!
Moo moo moo mo mooo moo!
- [21:08 16 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
[edit] And *whispers* psst!
How are thou? Can I help thou? - [21:08 16 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie
- Greetings - I art fine. Thank thou. And how art thou? Okay - Shakespearean english is NOT for me. College is into overdrive so haven't really been online lately - so don't really know if I need help at the moment. But will obviously be troubling you if I need any hehe. ~ Dark• 17:11 • 19 Sep •
[edit] UnSignpost: September 11th, 2008
The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.
September 11th, 2008 • Nineteenth Issue • All your readers are belong to us
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Uncyclopedia celebrates 9/11
 8 years ago, America was attacked or something. Uncyclopedians, who are true patriots, celebrated the eighth anniversary in true American fashion: by doing mostly nothing of interest to anyone but themselves. The UnSignpost devoted nine-hundred-eleven minutes of silence to the event Thursday by not even bothering to send itself out. "The Unsignpost was there nine years ago during those super not-kewl terrorist attacks," said chief writer Gerrycheevers. "I wasn't part of the staff then, so I promise that, in the 911th issue, we will devote a whole article to the events of that frabjuous day." In the 911th year of publication, the Unsignpost promises to dedicate the whole issue to 9/11 and those rascally terrorists. "We've already got 911 stories lined up for publication!" said staff photographer Larry. "It's too bad we have to wait so long to get them to the public, but that's what happens when you honor a holiday like this the way you're SUPPOSED to." Uncyclopedia's main page was 11/9-themed for the occasion. When Mordillo and Spang were alerted that nothing interesting happened on November ninth, 2001, Larry, Mordillo's public relations officer, claimed that "it [didn't] matter: One date is the same as the next. Why don't you Unsignpost people shut the hell up? Oh, and uh, I won't be able to come in Monday: it's my sister's wedding." Other wikis in cyberspace exist, and therefore did things relating to 9/11. Conservapedia, a conservative parody of Uncyclopedia, celebrated by drawing figures of Mohammed on their private nuclear stockpile. Legopedia celebrated by informing the public of Lego's new action series: 9/11: the Suckiest Thing Ever. Jengapedia honored the fallen by sponsoring a 911 minute championship Jenga competition. Liberalpedia, on the other hand, did nothing of any consequence. >:( FUCK YOU LIBERALS!! FUCK YOUUUU!!!! The Unsignpost would like to print a retraction of it's 47th issue from September 11th, 2001, wherein the terrorist attacks were called "super-kewl" and the terrorists themselves hailed as heroes. Those responsible have been sacked.
Conservation Week, also known as 'Rewrite-a-thon' or 'De-crap-ification', is upon our community once again. Twice a year, Uncyclopedians band together to clean out the weeds and squirrel corpses from promising trees found in the rewrite category, among other places. Due to the retirement of co-founder Jocke Pirat and quasi-inactiveness of co-founder THE, another user has stepped in with promises to annoy every user until they rewrite at least one article. That user shall remain anonymous. Opening day for this well-liked, popular, and intriguing event is Monday the 15th. The winner of the competition will receive the Greasy Mechanic Award for having rewritten the most articles in the two-week competition. Past winners include THE and Jocke Pirat. Be sure to participate early so as to avoid annoying requests to "rewrite an article, you lazy git!" The event has thrown into sharp relief the lack of Uncyclopedia events, or the excess of Uncyclopedia events, depending on who you ask. Ideas like Forest Fire Week and Everyone Edit A Ton Of Articles Week have not received much support, but may be enacted in the future to keep ADD-riddled Uncyclopedians something to do for five minutes. RC takes home NotM After years of fruitless nominations, Rcmurphy has finally won n00b of the Month. The announcement came last week, when none of the three candidates fufilled the requirements necessary for winning the n00by. It seemed the two new users had both failed to write an article, and So So did not meet the main n00bishness requirement. Since there was no clear winner, the award went to Rc by Rule 4.1, Clause 3 of the NotM eligibility guidelines. As far as the NotM badge itself, it was initally placed on So So's userpage. After relenquishing the honor to Rcmurphy, So So proceeded to foul the badge and offer it to the user who wanted it the most. After the planned Panel of Penis Monkeys from Outer Space cancelled, a phone-in contest was held, in which Colin "All your base" Heaney dominated the competiton. He took home the badge and now proudly displays the feces-ridden merit on his userpage. In a related story, Rcmurphy is up for NotM yet again. However, he is facing stiff competition from W.T. Door, a U.S. Navy seamen who spends his time swabbing decks, battoning down hatches, and writing cool stuff. |
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Owner 11:39, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
[edit] UnSignpost: October 2nd, 2008
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
October 2nd, 2008 • ALL-KITTEN ISSUE • Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!
According to Wikia staff member Sannse, Uncyclopedia's advertising revenue is below expectations and must rename itself to appeal to the younger generation. "I think the problem is that 'Uncyclopedia' has lost its edge," Sannse said to a crowd of squirrels and kittens gathered around the Uncyclo-stables last Saturday, "...all of which is contained in its name." Older users, like Mordillo, the jew who secretly controls "Uncyc," and TheLedBalloon, who is an inanimate balloon, strongly petition for the name to stay the same. The Unsignpost couldn't be bothered to actually read the forum that Sannse created, but we're assuming that everyone's against changing the name to "Asparagus.org" or something. The name change will reflect the personalities and interests of every single contributor. "Yeah, Asparagus.org is gonna have to do until we figure out what would be a good name," Sannse yelled at a local gathering of squirrels in Uncyclopedia's break room. Many users have complained about the change, but not AsparagusSignPost, which has run into a little trouble with the law recently, and doesn't want to go back to jail by disobeying "the man" or causing "drama". Because, as we ALL know, some head writers have been banned a whole bunch of times for being "different". So to Asparagus.org we say: "Keep the funnies coming, unless someone is forecasting your doom again..."
 For the first time in over two weeks, the flaming death of this silly wiki has been predicted in some form. Last time it was that stain that looked puzzlingly like Jimbo Wales, the time before it was that bird that flew overhead. You know the one I mean. This time around, undead user Necropaxx has pointed out several recent disturbing trends that seem to mean only one thing: Uncyc is about to suffer its death throes. It seems this time that the demise of the wiki will also utterly destroy the souls of every one of the dozens of users who contribute here regularly. Tidings such as this have frightened new users such as September NotM Multiliteralist, who had his to say: "Oh no." Several of the signs that Uncyclopedia is doomed are unarguably true: VFP is stagnant due to the lack of Zombiebaron activity. The Pee Review queue is backed up worse than a public toilet after Cinco de Mayo. Modusoperandi seems to be malfunctioning, as he has dispensed with his usual biting wit in favor of just plain biting. It appears, in at least a few users' eyes, that Uncyc has "jumped the kitten". Lack of News Wreaks Havoc on UnSignpost In an unprecedented press conference earlier this week, UnSignpost editor-in-chief Mr. Gerry Cheevers (the user, not the hockey player) admitted that "This week's issue is actually still a blank template", further stating "I've been swamped at work, and today developed cold-like symptoms." However, some experts disagree on the cause of an UnSignpost devoid of news. "There is an obvious explanation for the lack of gratifying news stories in the USP this week," said Mr. News Guy, the world-renowned news reporter, kitten enthusiast, and unicycle-fetish expert. "There is just no news to report on," he continued, to which the reporter we borrowed from UnNews responded "And what's causing this lack of news?" "That's just it! There's no news to report on!" "So... you're saying is, the reason there's no news is because there's no news?" "Exactly! And it's just a matter of time until some attention whore writes a stupid and redundant story on the fact that there's no news!" This story is dedicated to the memory of Mr. News Guy, whose body was recovered from the Los Angeles river the next day. |
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[edit] *knock* *knock*
Hey, TDP! Can I help you out somehow? Ice cream? - [07:16 5 October] Sir