User talk:Under user/Archive 8

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[edit] Does this count?

If I despoil my own page, does it count? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 11:55, May 16

Ewwwww INCEST!!!! RIGHT HERE YEP



HERE --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! 12:01, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

6 minutes. I'm vaguely disappointed. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 12:08, May 16
Meanie --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! 12:16, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Re: You busy at the moment man?

Well, overall, things are going all right. I have been busy in real life, exams, tests, and real life commitments. There WAS the small matter of getting whacked between the legs with a golf club last Wendsday, but... meh Warm Regards, Javascap

[edit] Waves

o.O hey! what's a catch like you doing in a place like this? Whoreing? thought so. I'm bored, you're here, hi! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 12:35, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

er, completely ignoring you, it appears! Sorry, don't normally ignore people - must have had some kind of blind spot to this section of my talk page. I blame this new high-fibre diet I'm on. Or something. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 11:48, May 21
haha, it's okay :P Happens to me sometimes. Yeah, it's always the diets..my last one made me edit uncyc uncontrolably. Good luck with that. What's going on? The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 13:32, 21 May 2008 (UTC)
Ah, reverting, editing, tweaking, occasionally actually doing what I'm paid for. You? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 14:34, May 21
I'm um, being unproductive. Writing poetry actually. About my dedication to uncyc. haha. serious. The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 15:25, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Thankies

Pyotr Kuznetsov Says: "Thank You For Voting!"
Pyotr Kuznetsov would be here himself, but what with his psychiatric treatment and all, he sent Dora to convey this message.
Oh wait, Dora's dead! Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for this!

Please accept the preceding generic template as a sign of my gratitude, Under user. - 08:14 17 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

[edit] the list... again

Instead of just giving you this template:

I have decided to post-emptively feature you as the biopic of the week, May 15th 2008. WOW! ...WWWOOOOWWWW!   CAKE J! <May 18, 2008 [4:19]>

Wow, two whole loads of nothing. Truly, I am blessed! Yeah, I saw the bio thingy before you told me about it the first time. How did you get it so accurate? I thought I'd been pretty good at concealing my secret identity, but you must have talked to my mum or something. Ya fecking numpty! -SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 09:29, May 18

[edit] RC-specific edit summaries

I'm probably the only person who actually reads 'em, but nevertheless, reading stuff like that really helps stave off boredom at points where there's nought to do. Also, as Cajek, thanks for doing the list while the rest of us keep slacking off! (I still haven't done a review dammit, it's all this new-fangled "writing" getting in the way!) —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 18/05 17:08

Eh, I always appreciate the occasional funny edit summary when I see 'em myself, so I try to remember to occasionally chuck one in. Unless I think Ljlego is watching, in which case I never say more than "blah" or "vote"! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 11:31, May 19

[edit] Thanks for Vote

Thanks for Voteing
Battleship Potemkin

The ship has now been turned into something else;)

<noinclude>

Thanks for voteing for my article;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk to me) 07:53, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] You, You, You, U, U, Bastard!

Well, I thought I would sneak onto Uncyc... Just on the off chance that there might be some poopsmithing to do... And GRrrgRRRgRR! Edit conflict! Lolz. That's the first time that's actually happened. I was right in the middle of saving, and grrr. You beat me to it. ;-). Awesome dude. You hardly leave me with anything to do on VFD these days. :-(. Which is awesome. Congratulations. :). Hea, my boss is coming! Quick, hide the poop! Oh, you already did... Looks like finally the UK has found something it's good at. Emptying the bins... HeHe... Catch you later Sir. MrN Image:Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png 09:04, May 19

General tidy up stuff is part of my regular morning routine these days - while things are dull at work, out comes the shovel! Good to see you around a bit more again man, it was a strange place without you! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 09:12, May 19

[edit] Don't you wish it to be Friday already?

That Monday thing is a nasty business it is. ~Jewriken.GIF 10:19, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

Actually, I wish it was a week on friday, because that weekend, I'm going paintballing to celebrate my mum's 60th birthday! Let's hear it for running round shooting paint pellets at family and friends - woo! I will be totally de-stressed the following monday! However, on a more general level, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Monday is teh suxxorz. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 10:24, May 19
That's simply the best birthday idea I heard in a very long time! My dad's 60th is coming up in a couple months, but I'll be damned if I take him out for paint balling, him being an ex commando officer. I'll be dead before I hit the ground.~Jewriken.GIF 10:27, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
Heh, I went paintballing once with air cadets, and one of the staff had been in action in the Falklands. We had to ban him from the last 2 games so any of us could have a change of winning - the only time we knew he was there was when he shot us from close range! Meantime, if you're bored, you could always contribute a bad lyric or two! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 10:33, May 19

[edit] Nattering Numpties

Image:Platinumpisser.gif Platinum Pisser
Rejoice! Your colossal achievement of completing over 50 in-depth pee reviews has been recognised with the provision of this luxury micturitional accessory. You will be the envy of your friends. Or you would be, if you hadn't ignored them for ages while you were reviewing.

I present you with this award that you created, in the tradition of weird things that seem to happen to you!   CAKE J! <May 20, 2008 [13:30]>

Gah! Placing an award I created on my own awards page? That's gonna look like vanity. Can I do it? /me wrestles with conscience, then gets distracted by mirror - heyy! Lookin' good!. What the hell, on it goes! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 11:52, May 21
heh /me looks at same mir- aww it broke :( --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! 14:25, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] A little request

Cheerio Underuser, I translated a template from German Uncyclopedia (see Template:Religion founders) and if you feel like it I would be very glad if you could do a little proofreading. It's not such a big thing but might be worth it. Thanks in any case. NaturalBornKieler 13:48, 21 May 2008 (UTC)

Hi NBK, happy to whisk the proofread brush through an article. Don't know if I'll get time today, but will do it as soon as I can! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 14:32, May 21
Just had a look: seemed fine to me. I changed "Sunna" to "Sunni" - I think Sunni is the branch of Islam, while Sunna means something else in Islam. Could be wrong. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 15:51, May 28

[edit] UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

May 22th, 2008 • Issue 4 • Par 6

Oldest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered

Renowned Uncyclopedia historian Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, has discovered the oldest non-Uncyclopedia related article ever written. "The fact that pie was the first article really opened my eyes. It really did. I see it all now: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia... the construction and future of these wikis have been laid out before me."

When asked what he meant, Spang said that, upon reading the first version of the article Pie, the future of Uncyclopedia was revealed to him. The version presently up is "but a pale shadow of what it once was." The fabled first version of the article is, according to Spang and fellow UnArcheologist TheLedBalloon, "The DaVinci Code of Uncyclopedia." One of the oldest contributors, 68.237.62.152, is said to be the creator of the fabled text, but could not be reached for comment... maybe 'cuz he was gettin' laid or somethin' cool like that.

"If only the original version had survived!" Said Spang's lead balloon, who gained sentience upon glimpsing the article. "I want to know the significance of the Norris! The secret meaning behind the Wilde! The hidden power of the grue! I want to know the secret of the memes!"

"First of all, how did a balloon become an administrator? Oh, right, this is Uncyclopedia." Said long-missing founder Chronarion. "Second of all, the current article you have up there is, although not as mystical, still sorta mystical... For example, look at that quote at the top! CLASSIC Oscar Wilde!" Questions arose as to why the original version was deleted in the first place, but Chronarion, who only made an appearance in one of our writer's drug trips, merely cackled, turned into a tomato, and vanished in a cloud of LULZ!!1.

The mystery surrounding Pie continues, and Uncyclopedian historians are still seeking the truth. ...BUY A SUBSCRIPTION TO UNSIGNPOST to see further developments!

Following Third Issue, UnSignpost Wins All Sortsa Awards n' Shit

At the annual Uncyclopedia Signpost awards banquet, held every year in Dr. Skullthumper's backyard, the Signpost was the clear winner of the night, garnishing all 149 awards in all 144 categories.

The press was not invited to the gala, but the Unsignpost has heard that several Uncyclopedia celebrities were at the event. Mike - you know Mike - said, "Oh yeah, we got Chronarion and Save the... whatever it was... We got 'em all! We even had Famine! Even though he still hates us, he still bothered to show up and drunkenly berate the guests! In fact, I think he's still in there, berating the furniture!"

Unsignpost writers all agree that it's not pathetic to give yourself an award once in a while. We do our chores! We've been kicked around! Why don't we, the writers, get any recognition? The special boobie-prize, The Feel Okay About Ourselves Award for 2008, was accepted by Cajek on behalf of the writers instead of a paycheck. "Finally I get a god damned award." One of the writers dramatically grabbed the award away onstage and, crying, started screaming at the award itself. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!? YOU BASTARD!!"

Unsignpost is planning to make the awards banquet biweekly, in honor of the fact that the writers are extremely lonely, and just want a way to talk to loads of people without having to listen to "feedback".

Newest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered

Although searching through relics was fun for the Indiana-Jonesish stylings of more techie-minded Uncyclopedians, the Unsignpost has, all by itself!!, made a new discovery.

Yes, the newest article, Jacob Zuma, created just at the time of this writing, is the newest article to date. No! Wait! It's RETARDIS. Wait, no, it's Broomstick. Oh whatever, the point is that we found it, and when it's deleted in three seconds, Unsignpost gets first gloating rights.


Check out these pages!
From our logs:
  • 07:04, May 16, 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 134.225.176.229 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Uh oh! Don't mess with Grant Whitaker Island! Or whatever it is you said! )
  • 19:28, March 18, 2007 Famine (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Come back when you have more tools in your bag)
  • 12:37, May 17, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked You're a tool bag (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (NO U. Also, LOL coming back to blank after a one year ban)
Biopic of the Week

Example ~ The standard Uncyclopedia user, Example has never read HTBFANJS, has created hundreds of stupid forum topics that make no sense, and has bothered dozens of admins without being annoying enough to be banned. Although he/she/it has no opinions or original ideas, he/she/it has still managed to produce dozens of deleteable articles. Truly, Example is an example for us all... get it? GET IT?!

Rorschach Inkblot Response of the Week:

"HOW DARE YOU SHOW THAT TO ME!!" (slaps psychologist) "You're just like my two mothers: every Easter they do that to me... WHY???"

Reason for Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week:

8. Not enough users leaving.

Horrifying Disease of the Week:

The Genital Migration Virus ~ Normally found only in the most remote regions of the Congo, GMV has now "migrated" to the general populous. It can be transferred only by physical or emotional contact. There is, as of yet, no "known" cure for GMV, because Unsignpost's writers are keeping the vaccine secret until the government... well, we've said too much.

Retraction of the Week:

We at Unsignpost are sorry. In our last issue we stated that "slavery was kewl" and that "the Yankees will never take it away from us." Apparently, we were wr- wro... wwwrrrrr- I can't say it!!

Letter of the Week:

This week's UnSignpost was brought to you by the letter "U". Because without it, we wouldn't be able to spell "UnSignpost", let alone the sexiest of all U words, "undulate".

Reason for staying at Uncyclopedia of the Week:

73. Can't find the door, no thanks to {{welcome}}.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:20, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Official PoopSmithing business

I just had a thought. Yes, that's two this year already... Like me, I expect that you have noticed that the Uncyc admins have not always been diligent in the past when it has come to adding the VFD kept template to the talk pages of kept articles. Although you can find out if a nomination has been made before by checking the "what links here" of the page and looking for entries on a VFD archive page I think you will agree that this is not ideal. Why is MrN going on about this? Well... I can't help but think that this is something which us fellow smiths of poop should sort out. I have been thinking about if there would be an easy way to get a bot to do it, but as the system has changed a few times (with the new VFDc), and the need to check the histories of pages (a newly created page might actually not be the same page as one which was kept). I think there are also some other special cases, and we could end up with duplicates if done wrong by a bot. Basically, I think we would have to do it manually. Would you fancy helping out with this? Maybe we could split it up such that I check the odd numbered archive pages, and you check the even ones? I think most people would agree that I'm more odd than you, so I guess that would make sense. If you're busy with other stuff, that's cool, but I thought I would ask as well... As you know, I'm a lazy bastard. MrN Image:Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png 12:48, May 23

Interesting, I was thinking about doing something along those lines, but wasn't sure I could be bothered to... Hmm, well with a bank holiday looming, I may have some free time... I'll give it a go, see how far I get. I'll keep track of my progress in the memory section of my userpage, if you want to keep tabs on how far I've got, if at all. Are we suckers for punishment or what? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 12:53, May 23
What, wot? It's been needing to be done for a while me thinks. I guess it does not really matter how long it takes to do... I'll take the high road you take the low odd numbered pages, you take the even. :-). MrN Image:Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png 15:40, May 23

[edit] Pailing Fence pic?

Do you have it still, because I need it for a picture on here. Thanks --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! 12:55, 23 May 2008 (UTC)

Like the base fence pic you used on that Mordor/Sauron pic thingy for Cajek --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! 12:57, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
Uh, not really. The pic for Cajek was a bit of a cheat, as I had to re-use the same short section of fence over and over again, and it's only saved at that very small size. Could possibly scare one up for you later, if you let me know how big and what style you're after. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 13:01, May 23
kk. Upload that piece please. might be enough, might not :D --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! 13:08, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
One gif with transparent background uploaded at Image:Mordor fence.gif for you. Hope it helps, but doubt it will. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 13:15, May 23

[edit] Ta

For the pic on Why?:Won't that damn CD player play my vinyls?. It was just what the article needed to get it over the hump (and I've never really had a good image in an article, I've always over-relied on captions, so this is good), so thanks again! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS] (talk), 23/05 15:39

[edit] Rhonda's Gospel

SysRQ said that you enjoy having a jolly good pretzel on his talk page. he also said that you would like my gospel. Visit User:Rhonda/Gospel if you wanna stay high. Rhonda 01:34, 24 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Thanks

Image:Newcookie.gif Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.


Thank you for your work keeping up the survived VFD templates. Sir Roger 07:07, 27 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Humph

Image:Atending urologist.jpg Hello Under user, This was going to be a thanks for making Orian57 attending template but then some bum said no and i didn't get the title so basically i'd still like to thank you for the support. and maybe next time. or when RotM comes round.


This may not have been the best picture to use as the man in it stole kidneys for a living. That was Boomers reasoning not my grammer.

Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog|Image:Icons-flag-gb.png 10:34, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Ah ha, I tricked you

for you did not expect "us" to put your bad lyric generator in the newest unsignpost. Surrender now!   CAKE J! <16:22, 28 May 2008>

And thanks to {{username}} I've been the "biopic of the week" twice. Twice, I tells you! But no, I didn't expect that. I rarely expect anything. I'm so simple and naive and trusting. That seems to endear me to those nice old men I meet with their big bags of yummy sweets. Sorry - "Candy". That nice Candy I meet, with her big bag of sweets. Or something. Anyway, glad you seem to appreciate it, now how about adding a bad lyric to it? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 13:22, May 29

[edit] UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!

May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5

Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site

According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior."

Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki.

Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters!

...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!!

Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show

After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form.

"Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper.

According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom.

As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press.

Serious: Dr. Skullthumper is a good friend, and I see him as an outgoing, clever guy, and I'm sure he will succeed in whatever he chooses to do while he's gone. -Cajek

Letters to the Editor

I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly. My family and I are true Christian's and worship's God truthfully. I got your contact through Internet during my research on some one who could help us.

I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind.

He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over.

If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest.

Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent

Dear Princess, We at the Unsignpost are interested in your offer, but have no money. Could you please send us some? You could be in on an offer to make up to $27,237,84661 monies! Your Sincerestly, The Unsignpost.


Check out these pages!
From our logs:
  • 15:46, May 24, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Lil selina (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hahahaha, it's funny 'cause now there's no content on those pages!!!!)
  • 23:58, May 25, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HA)
  • 08:38, May 27, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.36.41.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (love men FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK F)
Biopic of the Week

<insert name here> ~ Yes, we at UnSignpost have decided to do a biopic on YOU. YOU came to Uncyclopedia two weeks ago with little more than a dream and 45 bucks (or 30 pounds, if you're not American). YOU are what makes Uncyclopedia The Place To Be according to Home and Garden magazine. Without YOU, we wouldn't have that amazing article on stoats you wrote in 15 minutes. God bless you, {{USERNAME}}!

UU's obscure British Dialect expression of the week:

Bishy Barnabee. One for the coccinellidae fans amongst you - it's the loveable Ladybug! While the rest of the UK distances themselves from America by calling it a Ladybird, in Norfolk, they distance themselves from reality with this rather quaint expression. Slip it into conversation and impress your friends with your new-found linguistic diversity! (Why is it called that? Fuck knows, they're mad in Norfolk, quite, quite mad!)

Unsignpost Founder of the Week:

...Uh, that one guy... you remember, right? He had a "doctor" theme going on? He left for a while recently? Well, anyway, he's busy with college stuff for now, and won't be back for a month or so. As soon as we find out his name, we'll get back to you.

Animal of the Week:

Stoat ~ Mentioned 12 times in this issue of Unsignpost, and at least one time in the Biopic of the fifth edition of the Unsignpost, the stoat was one of the largest carnivorous dinosaurs on Earth. Weighing in at 5 grams, the stoat has made its impression on human evolution, not only by eating humans but in other, far more disturbing ways.

Template of the Week:

The bad lyric generator ~

I'm proud to be an outlaw, proud to be a rock 'n' roller, just don't wanna get judged on the colour of my skin, or the beer that I'm drinking! - Love/Hate

Last Minute Box of the Week:

First of all, let me just say that we at the Unsignpost didn't plan this box very well. Oh sure, it has nice wikicodes on it that make it colorful, but really it's just smoke and mirrors. Not to discredit our tireless staff! They work round the clock to ensure... oh who am I kidding! They're such fucking MOOCHERS. GET OFF MY COUCH, YOU RETARDS! And now for a week box more to YOUR liking:

Pole Dancer of the Week:

Sparkle ~ Working as a pole dancer five nights a week at The Wink and Tickle down the street, Unsignpost's senior medical correspondent enjoys suing because of a "hostile work environment" and "tickling". Soon to be promoted to senior editor, this little number is distracting EVERYONE in the newsroom!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:02, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Something to do with cows

[edit] Join The CMC! Make Your Inner Cow Happy!

Moo, Under user!

What is it about cows that gets us all hot and bothered? Where do cows come from? What are cows?

These are the questions that drive the Cow Moo Cult and its brethren, who are very, VERY interested in cows and cow by-products.

The CMC is devoted not only to cows, but to helping Uncyclopedia through general acts of goodness and through motivating people with cow-treats and the like.

So, Under user, why not join the CMC? It's free (unless you count virginity as money) and it's fun (and it's full of clichés)! You'll get a pretty template for your userpage and a nice title for your signature! What could be better? Sign Up Now!
'Double moos from your cowy friend,
Tayor

It's a wonderful association filled with joy and cowdome! What a bovine masterpiece! Join now! (yay whoring! :P) The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 17:03, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Er Tayor, UU isn't the person I'd have chosen to whore too...when he gets angry he has a tendency to bite people's heads off, also you haven't quite got the wiki formatting right for this beautiful whore template me and Cajek created (have a quick read of this, tells ya how to do it legally). But to UU: JOIN and don't bite my head off! - [17:14 28 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise
Biting heads off? Me? When? Show me documentary evidence? I quote MrN: "I have never seen UU being confrontational" and I'll bite the head off anyone who doesn't agree with that! ;-) That said, I don't really have time for most of the user-run groups around here - I successfully avoided an UNSOC invite, didn't sign up to the Grue Army, kept well away from whatever Ggarfield's odd "Nofu" thing was... PEEING has a point, a specific point, and one I agree with, so I'm in that. But other stuff? Not my cup of tea, guv. Have fun and stuff, but the only Cult I'm involved with are blasting out "She Sells Sanctuary" on my MP3 player! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 08:06, May 29
Er...I guess we'll leave you too that, and run off before you bite our heads off. :-) - [09:17 29 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE SR UnProvise
:/ this is upsetting.The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!) 00:37, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Pee

Hey, UU! I was just dropping by because I noticed with my last review you commented "fine" on the Cajek's list. I was just wondering whether by "fine" you meant "it's just okay" or "it's good". Cause I want to try and keep up my review standards I wanted to know (that is, if you did mean "it's just okay") if you have any suggestions to improve my peeing technique! Thanks in advance! :-) - [12:32 29 May] Sir FSt. Don Pleb Yettie (talk) QotF BFF NotM RotM UNPotM UGotM CUN PEE