User talk:Under user/Archive 9
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[edit] RAPE!!!
This is all Yetties fault he did it to me so i'm just paying it forward. Have Fun!MuCal. 
Orian57 10:22 10 June 2008
- DAMN IT! I MISSED IT BY FIVE MINUTES! ~
10:31, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
- Leddy you're another person I don't think I've spoken to. Hello. I should rape user pages more often oh and Mordillo, I found you alcahol!
Have Fun!MuCal.
Orian57 10:51 10 June 2008
- /me wanders past drinking the last of his booze stash. What're you doing in my tumble dryer Mordillo? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 10:52, Jun 10
- Leddy you're another person I don't think I've spoken to. Hello. I should rape user pages more often oh and Mordillo, I found you alcahol!
[edit] Ah!
Your UnScripts suggestion has inspired me to create me previous idea, Slightly Below Average Man, in UnScript form. Before I began, however, I noticed that you had an UnScript called "Average Cop". Please note I'm not ripping you off in any way, I had my idea for my article a long time ago. --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·MP·VFH)
- That's cool, I like the idea, look forward to seeing it. You might want to have a look at Kaiser the Bjorn's Übermensch as well, for reference. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 12:05, Jun 11
[edit] I caught that!
Just before you archived. Sneaky that. I guess I keep having a go at myself to keep myself in check or something, lest the beast underneath stir, or some equally clichéd phrase. Also, I can't believe the tank thing stuck, chalk that one up to Lj and IRC, dammit. Also also, revel in the suckyness of my plain as hell sig! Also also also, congrats on the VFS nom. It's definitely going to be hard to choose, glad I don't have to go through it! Also also also also, I forgot why I came here in the first place...oh yeah, to reply to the archived topic. Anyway, see you, have a good day/week/incremental time period! ~~Hv 10/06 20:03
- Well, if my presence in the vote was going to make it tough in any way, I've eased that a bit (see below). Look, I'll say it one more time and that's it: you are a tank, goddamn it! Now, I think it's about time I had my lunch. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 12:10, Jun 11
- Yummy, lunch, that'd be nice for once on a weekday! Well, I guess you've got to do what you feel is right here, and I applaud you for declining the nom (I know I've thought about doing it, but I figure that it won't affect VFS much anyway). And yes, I did write that before I knew I was nommed (damned Manticore), it's even harder now with so many good candidates! I reckon five could get through to the second round, though I definitely want Modus to win. And and, point taken. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS] (talk), 11/06 15:18
[edit] You sure about that?
I was just dying to see your ban summaries. ~ 08:15, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
- Pretty sure, yeah. This time. For a start, there are some really excellent candidates up there, who I trust to do the same job I'd have done, except possibly betterer. For a second, I suspect my contributions to the site may decline in the next three months as my wedding creeps inexorably closer. For a third, I'll then have a 3 week break for honeymoon. If I'm nommed again after that, it may be a different story. However, I was chuffed and flattered to get the nom - nice to know I'm thought of as competent enough! (Besides, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's dying to see Modus's ban summaries!) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 08:21, Jun 11
- You too with the wedding?! sigh Mine is September 2nd. When is yours? ~ 08:25, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
- 14th of the same month. Good luck with yours man! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 08:27, Jun 11
- Thanks! Likewise! I say we skip the wedding and go get hammered in Leeds. ~ 08:30, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
- Blimey! My g/f is putting down the pain at the moment wanting a date for the big day... Maybe we should perswade them to get an on-line wedding on Uncyc to say money? Hmm... Maybe they might not agree to that... Also, I'm on a pants computer today, no mouse and the like so thanks for sorting the smithing UU. It's a nightmare trying to do it here! MrN
10:40, Jun 11
- Except you just beat me to getting rid of the drama vote by nano-seconds. And my edit summary was waaaayyyy funnier than yours! /me throws mardy fit. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 11:24, Jun 11
- Blimey! My g/f is putting down the pain at the moment wanting a date for the big day... Maybe we should perswade them to get an on-line wedding on Uncyc to say money? Hmm... Maybe they might not agree to that... Also, I'm on a pants computer today, no mouse and the like so thanks for sorting the smithing UU. It's a nightmare trying to do it here! MrN
- Thanks! Likewise! I say we skip the wedding and go get hammered in Leeds. ~
- 14th of the same month. Good luck with yours man! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 08:27, Jun 11
- You too with the wedding?! sigh Mine is September 2nd. When is yours? ~
[edit] UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008
May contain traces of humor!
June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7
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Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job
 Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment."
 It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow.
We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content O CANADA Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor".
 Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now.
 An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY. |
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[edit] Umm... I'm here for the "Can-In-The-Pan" thing... where do I sign up?
Ok... umm... so on 28 June 1914, Pan Samochodzik (aka The Drywall Guy) was working on a house in Teignmouth, Deveon in our Great Britain. As fate would have it, Pan was renovating a victorian age mezzanine, complete with lead paint, and asbestos insulation, while smoking his eleventh pack of rich, Nicaraguan cigars that day.
"Can" is short for cancer, as his doctor soon informed him. A few days later, Mr. Samochodzik somersaulted off of a high bulding. That, my friends, is your humble narrator's explanation of the expression "Can-In-The-Pan". GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! Regret Tenenbaum 03:24, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Thank you Under user
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Thank you! for your support. May your socks stay forever dry!
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[edit] 'Grats
On the milestones, I guess. Getting closer to those overoptimistic totals I set you on the HowTo, that'd be an achievement! Sheesh, 120 reviews... seems huge to me, and I've done 50! Imagine what that must feel like as a new reviewer seeing someone with that amount. Tremendous work. Also, I'm shattered, as evidenced by my lack of bottom-table updating, if at least feeling better now (damn stomach bugs). Also also, as usual, I'm rambling. Damn. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS] (talk), 16/06 20:49
- To be honest, doing another 5 before the end of September will be enough of an achievement, given my hectic summer (see discussion with Mordillo about weddings above). Also, last time I tried editing while ill, I got my only ban from Mordillo - don't do it kids! Seriously, stomach bugs suck dude, hope you're up and at 'em again soon! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 20:55, Jun 16
- It seems everyone's getting married around here right now! What with you guys, and Cheap, and I'm sure there's another couple I'm forgetting... I definitely picked an inconvenient time to be ill, between exam-stress, family-stress and VFS-stress, it definitely doesn't help! I should be fine by tomorrow though hopefully. And again, congratulations on the wedding! ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS] (talk), 16/06 21:01
[edit] Thanks for review
I just found this thank you template, ta for review - it was very helpful--— Sir Sycamore (talk to me) 11:19, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
| Rejoice, Under user! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award | 
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| For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. |
- You are very welcome - I enjoyed the read, and a good reviewer such as yourself deserves someone taking some time over reviewing your stuff. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 11:24, Jun 17
[edit] Irish
For your vote in favour of today's FA, please allow me to serve you a modest Irish breakfast:
19:55, 18 June 2008 (UTC) [edit] Oh-Kaaaaaayyyaayyyaayyyyyyy...
- thanks for the, um, comment. mind telling me which articles and why? always good to let the person know and give them a chance to fix things if they see fit before you press the "please delete" button. and i checked out illogicopedia or whatever, seemed less streamlined than uncyclopedia, but i'll do some more looking. thanks. ~ Mgr. ManEatingBadger
[edit] HAHAHAHAHAHA (cough cough)...
Yes.... Um.... thank you, Under User, for choosing my "Can-In-The-Pan" scenario out of the proposterous influx of sumbissions you must have recieved (that I somehow can't find... meh, it's probably a glitch...) I am honored to recieve the cake thingy, which I will eat with pride. I feel so useful! :D Regret Tenenbaum 23:36, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
[edit] Unsignpost
UU, thank you so much for helping! Me and Skullthumper want this to be an uncyc tradition: the kind we pass on to our grandkids! Hurry, write... things...! Thank youuuu! <11:06, 20 Jun 2008>
- I'm trying! Honest! The slight problem being that a guy who has written no articles in over a month is really struggling to come up with enough funny to fill the damn thing! Arrrrgh! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 11:08, Jun 20
- pishaw: you have enough funny to fill two unsignpost editions! <11:15, 20 Jun 2008>
- I wish. Someone seems to have stolen my big pile o' funny ideas and hidden the bugger. As soon as I track it down, I'm going on an article writing spree (although not one to match yours, just a spree by my standards!) I'm due a couple of good articles. Or at least, I hope I am! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | KUN | Natter | Lt? | Pee 16:14, Jun 20
- pishaw: you have enough funny to fill two unsignpost editions! <11:15, 20 Jun 2008>
[edit] UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8
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UnSignpost abandoned by creators!
Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all.
Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot
Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler
In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick". |
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[edit] RE: My spiffy sig
I like the spiffy sig there Regret. Er, that's all I have to say right now. --UU - Blah 
15:42, Jun 23
- Well.... thank you, sir. I see you've chosen to shorten your sig. Why is that? -- REGRETTENENBAUM TALK! 18:37, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
- Eh, a change is as good as a rest. This is my third sig, and I'm sure there will be others to follow. --UU - Blah
09:53, Jun 25
- By the way, what's talk page whoring? -- REGRETTENENBAUM TALK! 18:21, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
- Ah, well, if someone is up for an award, or has an article up for VFH, they sometimes pop around talk pages trying to encourage people to vote. Different people have different views on it (YTTE positively encourages it, while THINKER gets right shirty if you try it with him). Personally, as someone who votes on pretty much everything on this site, I'm just not keen on having my talk page clogged up with it when I'll be voting anyway. There's much less important stuff I'd rather be clogged up with... --UU - Blah 18:32, Jun 25
- Oh! thanks! (and please excuse my noobie questions) -- REGRETTENENBAUM TALK! 19:44, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
- Ah, well, if someone is up for an award, or has an article up for VFH, they sometimes pop around talk pages trying to encourage people to vote. Different people have different views on it (YTTE positively encourages it, while THINKER gets right shirty if you try it with him). Personally, as someone who votes on pretty much everything on this site, I'm just not keen on having my talk page clogged up with it when I'll be voting anyway. There's much less important stuff I'd rather be clogged up with... --UU - Blah
- By the way, what's talk page whoring? -- REGRETTENENBAUM TALK! 18:21, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
- Eh, a change is as good as a rest. This is my third sig, and I'm sure there will be others to follow. --UU - Blah
[edit] RE:PEE
i removed the tag.
i am taking a break.
Baseball1 6 Join Here
20:00, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
[edit] On Several Things
Hey U.U. Firstly I... Have cpmpleatly forgotten what I came here for. No, wait, I remember now, sorry, senior moment, do you fancy doing a review on my article? You're from the UK too so you stand more chance of 'gettin' it' than some of our american buddies and I'd really apreciate a review from you (or even just some quick thoughts). Also to do with PEEING I really haven't forgoten about Fag's article, I've had it tagged for ages and I keep getting distracted but I've almost got it finished. Also in the same yellow vain, is there anything after the Platinum Pisser yet? For 75 or 100 in depth reviews? Cos I'm getting nearer the 50 mark and I'll need something new to aim for after that. What about a Titanium Toilet?
Yeah, the UnLibrary, I've not forgotten (I've used that word too much already) about it either. I'll probably work on it in a userspace for a few days then let you see, if I can think what I really want to do with it. Well what I want it too look like. I think that's all for now. Oh what do you think of my new sig? Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir 02:27 26 June 2008
- I'll give you a guarded "probably". Work is now expecting me to do something for the next couple of days (I know, how unreasonable), and there are things I really need to do towards my impending nuptials - I don't want to get on the future Mrs UU's bad side at this point! So I can't promise, but if you see my booking tag go on it, I will have made time, OK?
- I haven't come up with a further PEEING award yet - it's wayyyyy down on my list of priorities, to be honest, although I might knock something up. We'll see if I get the time! And the library - well, I've ordered the UnBooks mainpage a bit better now, cut out some of the crap and so forth, so the further fine tuning is more of an ongoing thing. If you're happy to work on it in your userspace, then great stuff. Good luck with that!
- As to the sig, nice and colourful! (Possibly the first box could do with white text to show up a little betterer?) Always good to have some cheery colours about the place. Maybe I'll dig up my nice, summery, grey "UU classic" sig at some point... --UU - Blah 08:07, Jun 26
- Oh, hey that's cool, thanks. Just thought I'd ask. Yeah I've noticed you'd been doing stuff with the UnBooks mainpage and it's looking much neater now! And as for sigs: no, I've seen that gray thing in archives and that's where it belongs. My sig though: the correct answer is "Yes". Yes you like it, none of these possiblies (Seriously I would do the writing in white for the first box but that'd mess up the colour scheame I have going). Oh and yeah good luck with the whole marriage thing! Have Fun! MuCal. BFF Sir 15:56 26 June 2008
[edit] Rollback
Just a note to say that I've noticed your requests, and I have no problem with granting you rollback rights either. In fact, I just love doing bureaucratty stuff, so if you just wanna canvas a couple more admins in the interests of pretend democracy, I'll happily sort it out for you. :) -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 11:40, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
- Cool, well you were pretty much next on my list after Leddy, so that's another tick. I'll ear'ole that Mantiwhore type as well then, and if there are no objections, I'll be doffing my cap on your talk page soon. No, that is not a euphemism. --UU - Blah 11:45, Jun 26
- Hea UU. I noticed your doings in this respect. I wonder if what we really need is a bit of a change in policy in regard to the old rollback thing. Personally, I think there are a good few users who probably should be given this rather useful tool. I have been thinking about a dump post about this for a while, but like yourself, I'm keen to avoid the associated drama. I wonder if there is a way to get the good ol bureaucrats to grant this right more often rather than people having to ask like this. It does appear to all be a bit backwards to me... MrN