User talk:Weebils
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[edit] WEEBILS' Contributions
Weebils the Wonderful LOVES Uncyclopedia, so he wastes a lot of time writing cutting-edge, pulse-pounding, sexually arousing articles that no one reads, including (ta-da!):
[edit] Unnews Articles
Weebils the Wonderful has contributed the following contributions to Unnews, many of which have been lead articles and some of which have been featured articles, so there!
- Noah: "Change your ways or drown!" - LEAD 1[1]
- Rosie rips pope and Pooh [2]
- Bush: "Hang 'em high!" [3]
- Mushrooms among brainiest vegetables [4]
- Tony Blair embraces nudism - FEATURED STORY [5]
- True origin of Reed Richards revealed [6]
- Romanian skull suggests link between gay men and Neanderthals [7]
- Michael Jackson undergoes plastic surgery--AGAIN! - FEATURED STORY [8]
- Another Iraqi car commits suicide [9]
- Dakota Fanning sacrificed in new film [10]
- Muslim cabbies fined for refusing fares - FEATURED STORY [11]
- Lindsay Lohan dries out in rehab - LEAD 2 [12]
- Redneck Reader goes visual - FEATURED STORY [13]
- Christian theme park to open in Little Rock - LEAD 1 [14]
- Playboy launches Braille issue - LEAD 2 [15]
- T-shirt jokes not so funny anymore [16]
- Oregon stiffens graduation requirements - FEATURED STORY [17]
- Ted Kennedy consults Kopechne - LEAD 1 [18]
- Pelosi: "Electing me was a stark blunder" [19]
- MSNBC launches "Nude News" - LEAD 1 [20]
- The big top becomes big business [21]
- Hangover cure suppressed [22]
- Educating America, one cereal box at a time [23]
- Dakota Fanning wins posthumous Oscar [24]
- Sarah Michelle Gellar attempts suicide [25]
- Condom use campaign a bust? - LEAD 2 [26]
- Mr. T wins prestigious Foolitzer Prize [27]
- Miranda rights expanded - LEAD 1 [28]
- Iraqi autos avenge their dead [29]
- Ashley Judd adopts Lucy Fowler's lifestyle [30]
- Utnapishtim celebrates 2706th birthday - LEAD 2 [[31]
- Giger gay bar opens in Castro District [32]
- 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue secedes from Union - FEATURED STORY [33]
- Bowling alley changes bowl fans - LEAD 2 over[34]
- Fashion: does it defeminize women?
- Bellagio unveils "Toon Erotica" exhibit [35]
- Bush questions Pelosi's manhood - FEATURED STORY [36]
- Psychologist: Moses had Alzheimer's [37]
- Jane Fonda seeks new husband - FEATURED STORY [38]
- Jane Fonda incorporates herself [39]
- Borat creator lists "Most Powerful Americans" [40]
- Discovery of Fred Flintstone's diary sheds light on ancient Bedrock [41]
- Stars fear Oscar may be cursed [42]
- U. S. Department of Health and Human Services institutes homophobia code [43]
- Brandy charged with "driving while black" - LEAD 1 [44]
- Ted Turner publicity stunt was "performance art" - FEATURED STORY [45]
- Clinton eulogizes stepfather [46]
- Pelosi bill would have Bush cracking the books - LEAD 1 [47]
- Obama considers name change - LEAD 2 [48]
- Chewbaca arrested! [49]
- Cartoon Network launches "Obscene Bugger Farce" - LEAD 1 [50]
- Celebrities: "Testicles a great stress reliever" [51]
- San Francisco outlaws spanking between consenting adults [52]
- "Wired" police officer electrocuted [53]
- Burger King introduces new Bun Burgers - LEAD 1 [54]
- Spaghetti Westerns attempt comeback [55]
- Lady Bird biography "unkind" - LEAD 2 [56]
- NASA trip to Uranus called off [57]
- U. S. surprised by Putin [58]
- Pentagon revives nose art [59]
- Wonder Woman not so wonderful [60]
- Whedon to "homosexualize" Marvel Comics - LEAD 2 [61]
- Accused astronaut wined and dined [62]
- Ancient chimps invented hammer - LEAD 2 [63]
- Celebrities return to first loves [64]
- Rosie O'Donnell enters rehab - FEATURED STORY [65]
- Weezil Greeting Cards: Holidays are such a joke! [66]
- Army launches new recruiting ad campaign - FEATURED STORY [67]
- Dope on a Rope called "promising" - LEAD 1 [68]
- NASA goes psychedelic [69]
- Britney Spears experiences "miracle cure" - LEAD 1 [70]
- Alan Colmes decries ratings - LEAD 1 [71]
- Britney bald after "miracle cure" [72]
- Plans to build another Mt. Everest postponed - LEAD 2 [73]
- Workplaces drug workers - FEATURED STORY [74]
- Car drives through mural at art center [75]
- Clint Eastwood announces bid for presidency - LEAD 2 [76]
- Beowluf's barrow discovered [77]
- Children's book publishers release censorship guidelines [78]
- New Hellmouth opens in Guatemala City - LEAD 2 [79]
- Al Sharpton arrested as runaway slave - LEAD 2 [80]
- U. S. military training accelerated - LEAD 1 [81]
- Canine couriers clean up - FEATURED STORY [82]
- Mom loses custody of obese son; "Porky" removed from parents' home [83]
- Sportscaster sidelined for sexist rmarks - LEAD 2 [84]
- Prince Charles wants to ban McDonald's [85]
- Doors still slamming after all these years [86]
- Wounded Marine wants gay ban lifted [87]
- Sex offenders may receive "special" license plates - FEATURED STORY [88]
- Angelina Jolie adopts Thialand [89]
- Nigeria does its best to keep Africa "the dark continent" - LEAD 2 [90]
- Hospital delivers meals to indigent shut-ins
- Jeep recalls Cherokees from freed slaves [91]
- APA creates new phobias [92]
- NAACP president resigns, citing racism [93]
- Family beats up principal over boy's grades [94]
- Condoleezza Rice names fictitious state as human rights violator - LEAD 2 [95]
- Gangbankers snap up bulletproof raincoat [96]
- High school distributes marijuana to its students - LEAD 2 [97]
- Thomas Jefferson impeached [98]
- FDA expands peanut butter recall [99]
- Zombies to produce own movie - LEAD 1 [100]
- Sarah Michelle Gellar reincarnated as comic book character - LEAD 2 [101]
- Pet food recall alarms pet owners [102]
- Confederate flag initiates Civil War of words [103]
- Dutch author finds lost manuscript while tidying up [104]
- Museum displays four-legged animals [105]
- Police stink! - FEATURED STORY [106]
- Las Vegas casinos institute free circumcisions - LEAD 2 [107]
- Oz residents charged in death of Wizard [108]
- Bart Simpson arrested for indecent exposure [109]
- Barely There Prom Dresses popular new trend - FEATURED STORY [110]
- American Idol finalists so bad they make audience cry [111]
- Harlequin seeks "real men" - FEATURED STORY [112]
- Play-Doh penis perturbs parents - LEAD 2 [113]
- Tinted semen called "colorful" [114]
- Saturn's weather puts Earth's meteorological conditions to shame - LEAD 2 [115]
- Miss America homeless again - LEAD 2 [116]
- Global warming to end some species (maybe) [117]
- Scientists invent new fossils [118] - FEATURED STORY
- Women urged to name their sex toys [119]- LEAD 2
- Science allows invisible voyeyrs [120] - LEAD 1
- New fashion models strut their stuff on Paris runways[121] - FEATURED STORY
- New emoticons keyboards help users put on a happy face [122] - FEATURED STORY
- Lawrence Land to celebrate author's "literature of lewdness [123] LEAD 2
- Lego offers sex education kit - FEATURED STORY[124]
- Sun serendades solar system [125]
- Blue angel kills South Carolina pilot [126]
- Global warming to transform men into women [127]
- Witches okay for national cemetery memorials; holy cows may be next - LEAD 2[128]
- Senator Harry Reid's apotheosis [129]
- Human semen a form of ectoplasm - LEAD 1 and (later) FEATURED STORY [130]
- Uvula's true purpose discovered - LEAD 2 and FEATURED STORY [131]
- Noah's ark to sail again - FEATURED STORY [132]
- If elected, John McCain would build a wing onto the White House to house his pets - LEAD 1 and LEAD 2 [133]
- Zombie Dolls for little boils and ghouls who have it all - LEAD 2 [134]
- Celebrity Beer test-marketed in St. Louis - LEAD 2 and (later) FEATURED STORY [135]
- Celebrity Sex Dolls sell well - FEATURED STORY [136]
- New food pyramid proven fraudulent - LEAD 2 [137]
- Disney adds porn to televised children's fare - LEAD 1[138]
- Snow penises outlawed - LEAD 2 [139]
- KFC introduces Chix on Stix [140]
- Statuary Hall updates collection - FEATURE STORY [141]
- Court refuses to allow dad to name son "Dick" [142]
- Grammy winners' songs used to teach grammar [143]
- Instructional "sex ed" museum to open in Sin City
- Zombies to produce "Girls Gone Wild" series - FEATURED STORY [145]
- Hollywood experiments with "mindless movies" - LEAD 2 [146]
- Supreme Court justice redesigns robe [147]
- Paris Hilton takes up finger painting - LEAD 1 [148]
- Ex-fire chief doesn't like being butt of successor's "joke" [149]
- Coca-Cola recycles its "beverage base" [150]
- Travelers boycott Hilton [151]
- Yoda wins "Ugliest Dog Contest" - FEATURED STORY [152]
- New York restaurants cut fat ahead of schedule [153]
- Activist treed by "fund-raising" deed: naked may be the better disguise, after all - FEATURED STORY [154]
- Global warming an act of God, not man, religious leaders say - LEAD 1 [155]
- Jessica Alba lusts after naked men - LEAD 1 [156]
- Tintin accused of racism - LEAD 2 [157]
- Bush deploys clone army to Iraq - LEAD 2 [158]
- Nuke lab makes top-secret info available to janitorial staff - LEAD 2 [159]
- Entertainment media open luxury rehab center for "falling stars" "falling_stars"
- Celebrities brew up a storm (but is it a tempest in a teacup? - FEATURED STORY [160]
- Disney bans smoking [161]
- Necrophilia okay in Wisconsin - FEATURED STORY [162]
- Could-be jurors stand up courts - LEAD 2 [163]
- Yahoo! caught making up news [164]
- NASA photographs galaxies having sex [165]
- President Bush a robot! - FEATURED STORY [166]
- "Survivor" producer may offer miners (or families) TV series "Survivor"_producer_may_offer_miners_(or_families)_TV_series
- Toy company boss commits suicide [167]
- Giant jellyfish donated to Mexico [168]
- Hubble telescope views Nowak trial - FEATURED STORY [169]
- Michelle Trachtenberg proves she's an ass" - LEAD 1 [170]
- Craig: "I did not have sex with that man!" - LEAD 1 [171]
- Japanese men battle "unsightly bulge" - LEAD 1, LEAD 2, and FEATURED STORY [172]
- Mythical beast discovered as road kill - LEAD 1 [173]
- Shark scared to death by New Yorkers" [174]
- Life After Buffy: The Musical [175]
- Risque sand castle contest entry disqualified - FEATURED STORY [176]
- Craig calls it quits on calling it quits - LEAD 2 [177]
- Babel politics (or is that "babble politics"?) [178]
- TV Guide publishes annual [179]
- Sausage company admits advertising boner [180]
- Silverstone bares soul, sort of - FEATURED STORY [181]
- God responds to lawsuit - FEATURED STORY [182]
- Swastika handbag recalled - FEATURED STORY [183]
- Scientists discover Lucas' Farce - FEATURED STORY [184]
- Deep-voiced women have fewer kids, study says - FEATURED STORY [185]
- Ahmadinejad pleads, "Send us your homosexuals" - FEATURED STORY [186]
- China bans sex - FEATURED STORY [187]
- NFL sidelines cheerleaders - FEATURED STORY [188]
- China goes braless [189]
- Scientists "discover" new fossils [190]
- Owen Wilson's first post-suicide appearance - LEAD 2[191]
- Crandon police remove "Protect" from logo - FEATURED STORY [192]
- Misfortune cookies: a new twist on a populat traditional "dessert" [193]
- Russians beg officials to bury Lenin - LEAD 2 [194]
- Schwarzengger endorses gay lifestyle - FEATURED STORY [195]
- Parents denounce new Happy Meals toys - FEATURED STORY [196]
- Dentist includes breast massage in his practice [197]
- Actress portrays her own buttocks - LEAD 2 [198]
- Hillary Clinton's dental care based on England's do-it-yourself approach [199]
- Ellen Degenerate shows her softer side, sort of - LEAD 1 [200]
- Military to deploy gaydar [201]
- Bighorn sheep collared [202]
- Selma Hayek: "My breasts are God's gift to men" - FEATURED STORY [203]
- Being "blonde" may be catching - FEATURED STORY [204]
- Wife asks court to declare her husband dead [205]
-- WATCH THIS SPACE; there are lots more to come!
[edit] Uncyclopedia Articles
Weebils the Wonderful has also contributed these Uncyclopedia articles:
- Electro [206]
- Inhumans [207]
- Innovations in Taxidermy [208]
- Khajuraho [209]
- Grand Ol’ Party [210]
- Pansies [211]
- Ed Sullivan [212]
- Epic of Gilgamesh [213]
- Kree [214]
- Hieronymus Bosch [215]
- Animal Crackers [216]
- Mary Jo Kopechne [217]
- My Little Penis [218]
- Wonderbra [219]
- Company Mascots [220]
- Subways of the World [221]
- Hallmark Greeting Card [222]
- Baphomet [223]
- Women of the World [224]
- Charles Fort [225]
- Testicles [226]
- How To Revise A Essay [227]
- Uvula [228]
- Pan’s Labyrinth [229]
- Shithouse [230]
- Green Berets [231]
- Erotica [232]
- Amanda Bearse [233]
- How To Write A Essay [[234]
- How To Spot a Transsexual [235]
- Cuckoldry [236]
- Internal Revenue Service [237]
- Nude Shower Scenes [238]
- The Hero with 1000 Faces [239]
- Graduation [240]
- Max Headroom [241]
- Attack of the Killer Boobs [242]
- International Academy of Design and Technology [243]
- Pornographers for the Extermination of Terrestrial Animals [244]
- Columbo [245]
- Shemales [246]
- How To Draw Female Breasts [247]
- How to create fantastic fantasy chaacters and make a million-gazillion dollars [248]
- TV Guide [249]
[edit] Oh Dear!
Hello, Weebils, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!
--thematrixeætsyou, the psycho (talk) (flames) 04:22, 12 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Re:Can you increase the volume for "Cracker Jack" recording?
I can edit the file, sure. I'll have that updated in two minutes. love, gustav talk at menope 20:34, 6 December 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks, I appreciate your help, Gustavo! Weebils 15:43, 7 December 2006 (UTC)Weebils
[edit] Welcome!
Hello, Weebils, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!
—Braydie 08:42, 1 December 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Welcome to UnNews and Merry Kaizum Me!
You should have gotten this some time ago... but then, I hadn't invented it yet. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 20:14, 22 December 2006 (UTC)
 | On your knees! Rev. Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and recieve the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. |
[edit] the important stuff about UnNews articles
Welcome to UnNews, Weebils, and thank you for contributing some crap, or something. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an UnNews articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.
Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and dispepsia.
Although I am an UnNews god cretin and an omnipotent admin, I am also humble, and realize that I make mistakes. I try to allow for some slack in others as well. If your article has been deleted or NRVd by me, it probably sucked, and in my opinion was not worth saving. Things which may protect you from my delete stick are;
- Pics with captions
- Links to other Uncyclopedia thingies, like this [[thingie]]
- Pay attention to suggestions in the UnNews article template
- Sources, fill in the info {{source|url= |title= |author= |pub= |date=Mmmmm DD, YYYY}}
- if I see this "[ ]". [[wikipedia:|]], Mmmmm DD, YYYY
- instead of a properly formatted source, I may take it as a sign from the gods to delete the article
I've reproduced some other pertinent links below from Uncyclopedia:Community Portal which I recommend you peruse.
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- General Discussion about Uncyclopedia, questions, comments.
- If you're new read this
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I invented this holiday about a week ago...
| zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)! |
[edit] Dakota Fanning
I like your Dakota Fanning piece. Very gory. However, I think the movie should be directed by Mel Gibson, doing his typical blood-bath routine. I could really see him getting into the details of how he was going to cut up Dakota Fanning. --Super90 04:46, 18 January 2007 (UTC)
- I'm glad you like the piece, and your idea has merit. I wanted to name the actual participants, though, because I think their conduct deserves to be parodied. Thanks for the interest and the feedback. Weebils 08:39, 18 January 2007 (UTC)Weebils
- Super90, I wrote a follow-up article [250] in which I've taken your advice, mentioning Mel Gibson as the movie's director. Thanks for the suggestion! Weebils 22:36, 20 January 2007 (UTC)Weebils
[edit] RE: This
Well, it seems some of the "vandalisation" your talking about are my screwups. If a particular article is giving you trouble, or rather, if some one is messing with an article you thin should be protected, let me know and I'll check into it. rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 21:56, 9 February 2007 (UTC)
- I doubt it's you who are vandalizing anything, Zim, but someone sure is. Anyway, thanks for looking into things. I appreciate your help. Weebils 23:24, 9 February 2007 (UTC)Weebils
[edit] Please refrain from using InstantNews.COM
Never quote InstantNews.COM! InstantNews.ORG is ok though.
[edit] zim is bad
I've neglected to put you on the Team page, and that's very naughty of me. I do apologise because you have been a great contributor. Where are you from, so I can add you with a flag? rev. zim_ulator (Talk - Edits Logs) I am the dirt under your rollers. 16:30, 9 April 2007 (UTC)
- Zim, Las Vegas - You mentioned that you might put me on the Team page and asked where I'm from so you can include a flag. Las Vegas, NV. Weebils 06:43, 10 April 2007 (UTC) Weebils
[edit] Erm, sorry...
It seems I have created a page about the same news story as you... Do you mind if I keep mine? Yours showed up first, so it's your call. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon 
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:09, Sep 22
Go ahead; we will keep yours. Thanks. Weebils 03:09, 11 October 2007 (UTC)Weebils
[edit] What with your 200-summat UnNewses...
Has any one of them yet been featured fur reelz? If not, I promise to change that.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 00:29, 11 October 2007 (UTC)
