Utopia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

People's Republic of Utopia


(Flag)	(Coat of Arms)

National Motto: "It's Perfect, Sort of."

Official language

Utopian (A mix between Japanese, Mexican and an unnamed Alien language)

Capital

Eden, New Gaia

Prime Anti-Minister

Duel leadership of Matt gayman and Pope Bendadick XVI

Religion

Orthodox Utopian

Independence

October 32, 1966

Currency

None

National Anthem

unknown

National Holiday

Everyday

“Somewhere near Europe, right?”

~ George W. Bush on Utopia

The People's Republic of Utopia is a large, manmade island nation located in the north Atlantic Ocean near Iceland. The island was built from several million tons of garbage and sunken World War II warships. Construction began in 1950 by an elite team of American, British, Canadian, Icelandic, French, Mexican, and Norwegian geologists and waste management experts, and was completed in 1966. Christened New South Iceland, it was used as an observatory and a home for laboratories too dangerous, controversial, secret, or macabre to be accepted by local citizens in the contributing nations.

After several weeks, the island was seized by armed groups of European and American refugees seeking a place to call their own. They changed the island's name to Utopia and began drafting a constitution. The Americans have repeatedly tried to retake Utopia by military force, but each time they have been thwarted by a cleverly patterned barrage of rotting cod and experimental jazz.

[edit] Law and economy

Utopia is split evenly into three counties - New Vermont is inhabited by Libertarians, New Leningrad by Communists, and New Gaia by Hippies. Few males are allowed to travel from one county to another, though nude women may pass freely, and Utopian border guards are notoriously easy to bribe. Cannabis comprises over seventy percent of Utopia's farmland, but due to international restrictions against the drug, their main export product are reprints of Noam Chomsky books.

The government is octocameral, that is, the Congress is split into eight Houses, led by a Prime Anti-Minister. Each citizen holds a seat in one of the eight Houses, and once a year everyone rotates one House to the left.

Immigrants seeking citizenship are required to prove their bisexuality in the form two homemade porno graphic videos, one filmed with a member of each on sex. In addition to ensuring open-mindedness among its citizens, this requirement ensures that the population remains free of the diseased, the deformed, the ugly,and children under 18 years of age.

Other curious Utopian laws include the banning of all currency, as proposed by the Communists. At first the Libertarians resisted, but their resolve weakened after a string of burglaries by the Hippies. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have all been banned from Utopia for being twatish. Gasoline-powered vehicles are not specifically banned, but are useless given the rough, farmland-dominated terrain. Most Utopian citizens travel by foot, dinghy, or giant catapult.

[edit] Religion

The orthodox Utopian religion is based on the following Fourteen Orders:

Do not say the name of your lord, Utopia, for no reason. Also, don't say it if you are drunk.
Remember that your lord, Utopia, is the one and the only. Do not worship any of the others.
Always use comma between the words lord, and Utopia.
The fourteenth day from Monday is unbelievably holy.
Don't kill anybody who has the Fourteen.
Don't go changing orders on us.
Don't do wrong for those who have the Fourteen.
Search for the Fourteen.
Respect the entropy.
Do not say a wrong word with the holy language.
You have the right to say "you don't exist."
Fourteen is a holy number.
Seraching the truth is right in the eyes of your lord, Utopia.
Who ever breaks these the Most Holy and the Greatest Fourteen Orders should be killed publicly, but probably won't be. Lucky bastard.