Vägtull
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“No money no funny! Wait, was it the other way around?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Vägtull
“I am powerless to stop them! They are eating my harddrive...”
~ Cyborg Jesus on Vägtull
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[edit] The Vägtulls
The Vägtulls are a strange race of monsters. People drive into their gaping maws, and when they do, they get robbed or eaten alive. Every single one of them. The only way to escape them is buying a really large and shiny license plate and drive as slow as you can. Vägtulls get's scared when they see large numbers attached to cars arriving slowly. The vägtulls of mass destruction-project is currently being tested in Sweden, because the viking chief, Göran Persson, isn't rich enough. He already earns more than 1.000.000 yen a year (over two hundred billion dollars), but he wants more. Punishment for trying to avoid Vägtull is life in prison in comparison to murder which has 6 years probation.
Vägtulls have been placed by the government on certain sections of roads in order to charge people for driving. Most of the people were, however, viciously consumed by those abhorred monstrosities within a few days of traffic as they refused to pay the tolls in question. The vägtull beasts were really upset about that and revolted against the cars driving through them, consuming their passengers. Göran Persson was very amused and ordered several in-detail movie-clips of such events, something the press assumed to be for masturbation purposes.
The complete lack of grownups still living and/or breathing in Sweden caused starvation amongst the vägtulls, so they're currently feeding on flies.
[edit] Public Response
Every surviving swede joined and togheter formed a new political party with the purpose of killing off every vägtull. Due to the complete lack of sense in the surviving population, no one understood that they can't vote on their own party, so no one is left to vote.
[edit] History
No one knows the origin of the species, although some speculate they are related to the eagles. That is rather silly, so you shouldn't believe it. The first vägtull to be illustrated ever is an hand-drawn image in a cave somewhere in France. Scientists believe that French people and vägtulls are closley related and that the vägtulls might be the only species between humans and the french. This would also explain why France always has loved having expensive tolls on their motorways.
Alice Cooper suggested that the vägtulls might a biological weapon formed by the U.S. goverment, but as soon as anyone writes anything about that, the text gets deleted. Because of that, there's no point in writing them anyway. A few points of interests can be written, though:
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[edit] Aid from other countries
The Ghostbusters are developing a form of weapon to get rid of them all, but as far as everyone knows, they aren't succeeding.
The United Nations are negotiating with the leader of the vägtulls, Darin, to back off. Darin, wouldn't answer on the grounds that he don't want to open his mouth for some reason.
Other than this, no one is helping the poor Swedes and are stupidly enough helping starving children in Denmark and Australia.
[edit] See also
- Göran Persson - The viking chief of Sweden
- Darin - Lord of the Vägtulls
- Sweden
- Weapons of mass destruction
