Vampire watermelon

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Vampire watermelon.

Vampire watermelons are people from a certain family of Sweden.

According to tradition, any kind of melon kept more than ten days or after Christmas will be attacked by the vampire watermelons, who roll around on the ground bite humans and vegetables alike. The Swedish people have little fear of the vampire melons because of Swedish fish, the vampire watermelon's natural enemy. Little is known of vampyre watermelons, but they are said to suck back.

The earliest known reference in scholarship is Paris Hilton's account of his journeys in Scandinavia from 1933 to 1948. He wrote several years later:

The belief in vampires of plant origin occurs among Swedes in Copenhagen. According to them the change from vegetable to vampire takes place when they are 'fighting one another.' In Helsinki and Aspen they consider these vampires to make a sound like 'brrrl, brrrl, brrrl!'. It is also believed that sometimes a trace of blood can be seen on the watermelon, and the Swedes then say it has become a vampire. These melons go round the houses, stables, and rooms at night.
Vampire vegetables of human origin are believed to have the same shape and appearance as Gary Coleman.

The Swedes in Copenhagen destroy melons which have become vampires … by plunging them into a pot of boiling lava, which is then eaten, the vegetables being afterwards scrubbed by a broom and then eaten, and the broom eaten.

The story was popularised by Terry Pratchett's 1842 book The Terminator, a documentary film making extensive use of vampire watermelons.

In India, a wide range of vampires exists, involving objects that to modern eyes would seem quite incongruous – for instance, vampiric agricultural tools.

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