Prince Vegeta
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“I'LL GET YOU!!! YOU WON'T ESCAPE... MY WRATH!!!”
~ Prince Vegeta on You
Prince Vegeta is Prince of the Saiyans, savior of the Earth and the male rape god of the universe. The perfect warrior, cold and ruthless, living on his strength alone. It is said that his sexual power comes from his Black Star Dragon Balls, which grants him a never ending supply of his own personal blend of pregnancy syrup. He has raped virtually every character on Dragon Ball Z, be they male, female or... other. He lost some of his sex appeal in Dragon Ball GT after growing a moustache, but regained it after a good shave and the purchase of some skin-tight leather pants. He is considered a tri-sexual, or someone who is prepared to try anything at least once.
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[edit] Normal History
Vegeta was born on Planet Vegeta, which was named after him because everyone living on the planet hated him so badly. Fortunately for young Vegeta, the evil hermaphrodite Frieza wanted him too. After kidnapping Vegeta, Frieza blew up Planet Vegeta and made Vegeta his sex slave and general bitch/tool. By the time Vegeta was an adult, Frieza was no longer interested in him, because he preffered the young 'uns. However, Vegeta's took an interest in prince Zarbon a warrior. Unfortunately, when Zarbon was asleep Dumbass vegeta molested him in the worst ways possible. Zarbon hated vegeta and never wanted to be with freeza. Zarbon killed vegeta and freeza in the most violent way possible, Zarbon chose to live on Earth and make "friends" with the humans and Z warriors living there.
[edit] Relationships
Vegeta's longest-lasting rape slave relationship was with Bulma Briefs, because the idea of dating a girl named after lingerie while raping her through her lingerie appealed to him.
Some may have noticed that Vegeta has raped many more males than females or hermaphrodites. At one point, Vegeta confessed to Goku that he might be gay[1. \
In the end justice prevails and The Great Sayiaman appears!!
[edit] Super Majin Baby
Though everything about Vegeta is retarded, the Super Vegeta line of Vegeta software upgrades (known as Vegeta 0.5, 1.0, 1.5, 2.0, 3.5 and 4.0) have incorporated more into him to keep him up to the cutting art of rapitivity , state of the edge technology of today. By far the greatest upgrade was the limited time Majin upgrade. Vegeta members (those that have a power level Over 1|under -3214324325654376537 watch the veggie eat a ‘Bean’ of balls berry tree from Big Vagina land , then a small cloud of gas lifted from the ass, as he proceeded to sexually big assholes into a retarded fat pink telitubbie with mass big asshole so f**ked up god couldn't watch. Majin Vegeta was highly accepted as the worst achievement in Vegeta technology even more so than Vegeta 4.0, or the two network adapters Gogeta and Vegetto. The reason for this is the self repairing ass explotions and wicked cool ipods from his crown jewels. Vegeta in this form can give birth and take no pounding and suffer mass damage or side effects as long as he is still being powered by his Balls. This was most useful against superstars such as [Goku], [Chuck Norris], and [Madona].
Latter, Vegeta took several of his Golden Hairs and made some kind of ticket out of it, put it in a candy bar, then threw it into a random city. Vegeta then made a public statement that the finder of his Golden Pubic Hair Ticket would get a one week free tour of Vegeta's head. A nerd only known as "Darklord343_Xdragon worrior_slayer 37576" was the winner. While on the tour, "Darklord343_Xdragon worrior_slayer 37576" started smacking random red buttons in the control room forcing Vegeta to him raping everything. Soon some old Kai Guy starts giving AIDS to everyone and Goku shows up and slaps "Darklord343_Xdragon worrior_slayer 37576" out of Vegeta’s ear and sends the child to his room (in the sun) for 1.35234542765476584765976547543256 secods. What more, vegeta was scarred of "Darklord343_Xdragon worrior_slayer 37576" and raped shit more.
[edit] Family
Vegeta has two children, Trunks and Bra. Trunks is a goodie goodie boy who is very straight and likes to use his mommy as a sex slave. Bra takes after both her mother and her father in the fact that she is a slut. She aims to break her father's record and sleep with even more characters than he has.
[edit] Rape of Goku
In 1994 the Dark Prince returned and realized that he could never physically overpower Goku to rape him, so he secretly made up his mind to trick the Baka Saiyan into “Fusing” with him to rape himself. While fusing, Vegeta dominated Goku by making him use him name, voice, hair and personality first. Though a success on his “Things to Screw List” Vegeta hated it, stating that Goku’s faggotry was OVER 9000 and only fags like to cuddle that close together. Never the less Vegeta had once again proven that he was the King of weaklings and fags. Since He was so weak he was killed by the mighty prince zarbon once again.
[edit] The Butt Controversy
A lot of controversy has surrounded Prince Vegeta's ass. Many have claimed it to be the scariest,worst, emo-est, F**ked up, unsayable in words, ass in history; backed by the fact he is the rape god of the universe. Also the wearing of a spandex suit to show off his ass, is a key part of his technique is his big ass shit. While it is a scientificly proven fact that Vegeta has scariest ass to ever scare an animated television show, a sexy ass is an attractive butt, but and ugly one like vegeta's is just wrong.
[edit] Prince Vegeta's other Hobbies
Outside of training, rape and wearing pink shirts, Prince Vegeta kills his penis the emo way every day of the week, disregarding anything Bulma has to say about it. When he stated that he physically finally destroyed his own nuts Vegeta has cut several Death Metal records, and does his walls, and also runs his own division of Capsule Corps cutting his fingers once a month, "Super Underarm Deodoran", and has been seen growing a garden of some variety of flower. Vegeta also goes to the beach to look for young-uns to molest.
[edit] Controversy: The Vegeta Tape
Much controversy surrounds Vegeta's status as a rape God as instead being one who is God of being raped after an apparent suicide attempt. Vegeta was kept alive but a tape of the event has since circulated to the internet. This tape sheds doubt on the previous accounts of his life. The recording was made of the event by Giro, that annoying fucking robot thing from GT. In it, a despondent and miserable Vegeta reflects on his life, his many failures in battle, and attempts suicide but is thwarted and viciously attacked by his rival Goku. Here is that tape:
"My name...is Vegeta and I have accomplished nothing with my existence. I FIGHT! But do nothing except get the shit kicked out of me. So I become scared of fighting! My own planet was destroyed in front of me. And what did I do? I cried like a 10 year old girl over her dollies and begged Kakarot to saaaaave me pleaaaaase. But on Namek he let me die. And I cried. Tears poured down my face as I told my pathetic life story to all who would care to listen. Of course they all flew away laughing as my last bit of life drained away.
After being brought back by an unmerciful God I was tortured, burned, and raped by a woman named Bulma. She gave birth to my son, my only son...AND HE HAS PURPLE HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
At this point I realized what a mockery of existence my life had become. But wait there is more!
My son, surpassed me in strength, power, everything. He is better than me in all ways and HES A COMPLETE FAGGOT!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" -Goku storms into the room- "SHUT THE FUCK UP VEGETA!!!!" "Oh i'm sorry Kakarot PLEAAAAASE dont hit me PLEEEEEEEASE. Man i'll....i'll SUCK YOUR DIIICK!!! JUST PLEASE DONT HIT ME!!!!"
"Oh God look at me begging for mercy...i'm such a PUUUUUUUUUSSY! And yet there is still more even greater patheticness to come."
"In one battle my son was killed. KILLED! And despite trying my hardest. Despite using every ounce of strength trying to be a real man...despite all that I was brutally and completely beaten nearly to death with ONE hit by a being named Cell. Were it not for Gohan, a child well-known for his female emotions and his lack of balls, I would have died once more. At this point I admitted to myself what Yamcha and Tien were whispering, 'I have become completely useless...' With that I flew away and cried myself to sleep. I tucked my legs, stuck my thumb in my mouth and accepted myself as I am. A complete waste of sperm."
"As if that weren't bad enough, I sacrificed my own life at one point to blow up a fat piece of shit. Whose body was PINK for fucks sake PINK! And all I accomplished was committing suicide. Something which made everyone celebrate. Despite their celebrating they decided to bring me back again to once again wallow in the misery and shame that is my disgusting filthball of a life.'
But I shall have the last laugh. YES I WILL BE THE ONE WHO WINS.' -Pulls out a .45 and plays Smile Empty Soul's (one of the most hilariously emo bands in existence) song With This Knife-
"Because with this weapon I shall seal my fate. HAHAHAHAAHHAHA!!!!!" "Vegeta!" -Goku whips out his belt and smacks Vegeta across the face with it. He then proceeds to drag Vegeta by his hair down the steps face first and boots him outside- "K-Kakarot n-n-nooo!!!! Not here not with so many people Pleeeeaaaaase!!!!!" "BITCH!"
-Goku pimp smacks Vegeta which causes everyone to laugh at him. Cars honk in appreciation as they pass by. Goku proceeds to place Vegeta's head in the car and slams the door. EIGHT TIMES! After Vegeta shits himself Goku advises him to take a shower. He goes inside and comes out with a beer. He then proceeds to chug and pisses on him. Vegeta covered in tears reaches towards the sky in vain because Goku takes the hand and stabs it with a knife.- "Is this how it is to end?" (Of course with his mouth swollen shut and half his teeth busted what came out was) "WAAAAAA! WHYYYYYY!? WAAAAAAAA!"
-Trunks pulls up in his car and sees what a mess his father has become- "Wow dad...you got knocked the fuck out...Man i'm a complete faggot and even I do better. Fuckin pussy. -Trunks spits in Vegetas eye. He then flips Vegeta over and pulls down his pants.- "NO TRUNKS NO NO NO AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH AAAAAAAAHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-Later that night, Vegeta lies beaten severely in a corner covered in used condoms and kitty litter. He is currently tied to the ground in leather bondage. Piccolo and Bulma reside in the corner smoking cigars and laughing. Occasionally they come over and put out a cigar in Vegeta's ass. Tears fall freely out of Vegetas once proud eyes. To further his embarrassment he is strung up outside where passing cars use him for target practice. They throw McDonald's bags at him and filled milkshakes which explode on his head causing him to freeze and shake violently. Occasionally man urine seeps out of his ass. A sign of what his own son did to him-
The legitimacy of the tape is still being confirmed...however his version of events is corroborrated in the famous documentary DBZ which depicts the misadventures of Vegeta, Goku and others. A common theme surrounding Vegeta is talking tough and getting pwned, if not outright killed by various larpers in wierd outfits. The sex tape called "The Whole Universe Is Going to Die" featuring a gay, near rape of Vegeta by Goku has also led to most supporting the theory that vegeta was in fact the bitch.
[edit] See Also
