Vengaboys

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“Why is he wearing that stupid cowboy suit?”

~ Frank the Rabbit on Vengaboys

“In Soviet Russia, Vengaboys jack-off to YOU!”

~ Russian Reversal on Vengaboys

Vengaboys is Spanish slang for pimps and hoes. As you may of noticed in this group's muzac clips, they are obsessed with secks, and the cowboy and sailor guys are often having buttsex in the background.

The Vengaboys began in Germany during the war. Hitler asked the lead black girl, Kim or something like that, if she wanted to start a music group with him before someone would shoot him. She agreed, and then they began a singing group, 'Hitler and the Pussycats'. Before long, Hitler started to get impatient because Kim took too long tidying up her pubes in the morning before a gig, so she fired her. Kim got angry and killed him with the stench of her underarms. She still wanted to be a singer, however, so for the next 43 years, she searched for people to join her group. She discovered a sailor, a cowboy, and a dyke, all of whom are vibrant homosexuals. They decided to name their band Vengaboys, with Venga meaning rape, and boys meaning dogs.

Contents 1 Group Members 2 The Big Break 3 Songs 3.1 Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom 3.2 We're Going To Eat Pizza 3.3 Shalala Lala 4 Footnotes

[edit] Group Members

• Kim - the lead singer of the group. Kim started out singing Michael Bolton songs in her bathroom at age -4358, and when her mom told her to STFUPLZ, she ran away and joined the Nazi Circus. She became Hitler's hoe, and did her prostitution on the side of the street near Nazi Headquarters. Servicing only but Germans, she took a stand when Hitler fired her, and killed him.

• That Sailor - the sailor guy, Robin or some crapola, used to be part of the navy. He got caught having sex with the exhaust pipe on a car and was thrown out. Since then he's lived a fulfilling life under the sea, living with the fishes and mermaids and whatnot. Every night he cooks for his husband, Alfa Romeo, and every day he works with the Vengaboys since Kim found him trying to eat her while she was snorkeling one day. Oh my.

• The Dyke - this girl with the frizzy red hair is originally from Iceland, but since then she left the country at age six, developing three pregnancies and four abortions. When she moved to Guatalawhothehellcares, she shacked up with that pedophile from Donnie Darko and lived with him for six months. She became a part of the group when Kim knocked on the door because she was causing too much of a rauckus with the creepy beastiality sex acts that she was engaged in at the time.

• The Cowboy - the cowboy sure knows how to have a good time. As a Mexican, he is naturally fiery. Infact, he's the fire dude from Fantastic Four in his spare time. In his white-skinned time. He's developed 14 STDs over the years he's been alive, and died from 11 of them. That's how committed he is to the group.

[edit] The Big Break

The Vengaboys got their big break in the biz during 1987 when Kim accidentally fell over at a rave party and somehow was sucking off a big time producer, Ben Affleck. He was pleased by her display, and decided they SHOULD BE A SINGING GROUP. For some reason. When they told him "EYY MAN WE R LREADY FA SINGN GRUUP!!!1!!LOL" he was all like "Duuuuude. I are black now." Then Ben Affleck turned black and they ignored what he had to say. Fortunately they had already signed the contract allowing them to appear on the Today show in the back window on the street. From then, their popularity rose, and now they're so damn famous, you could cook chicken on them. Yeah I don't know why.

In their video clips, there are usually a vast variety of sluts, pimps, hoes, prositutes, and drug dealers. Sometimes, each of the members of the band took a certain role to be in the clip. Usually the members had to be off somewhere else during filming (almost always doing cocaine in the bathrooms) so they had to have stand-ins. Such people as Kochie, Salad Fingers and Jesus himself.

[edit] Songs

Vengaboys are only really known for a couple of songs, although not many people know they lasted for about 5 years.

[edit] Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom

Boom, boom, boom, boom,

I want you in my womb,

We'll share the juice together,

from now until the birthing.

Bang, bang, bang, bang,

I hope they don't abort,

I'll stay with you forever,

forever in the womb! ^[1]

[edit] We're Going To Eat Pizza

WHOA!

We're going to eat pizza.

WHOA!

It's gonna taste to raddd!

WHOA!

It's gonna take a party,

WHOA!

To get rid of all the scraps. ^[2]

[edit] Shalala Lala

Shalala Lala,

Shalala in mah anussss.

Shalala Lala,

Shalala in the vaginaaa.

Shalala Lala,

Shalala in mah nose hair.

Shalala, Lala,

Shalala just coz I can! ^[3]

[edit] Footnotes

1. ↑ The video clip to comprise this song has none other than Mario and Luigi coming out of a vagina. At their current ages.
2. ↑ The clip to this song was actually the clip to 'Holler' by the Spice Girls with the song dubbed over it.
3. ↑ The clip to this song consists of Ned Flanders falling off his roof repeatedly.