Vi

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The crappiness of this article begins with its lowercase letter. Do not be alarmed. This is a necessary inclusion.

This article best viewed with Emacs, if you can wait for it to load.

“Goddamn this is the best program ever written.”

~ Oscar Wilde on vi

“GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN RIGHT! THAT'S BECAUSE I WROTE THAT SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER!”

~ Samuel L Jackson on Oscar Wilde's above quote

“I use vi because it's the only editor that badass enough for me to use.”

~ Bruce Campbell on vi

vi (pronounced /vim/) is the best text editor in the Universe, and is currently on the winning side of the Editor War. Its main users consist of programmers, Spartans and anyone who is considered badass.

1 History of Vi
- 1.1 Editor War
2 Battles in the Editor War (in chronological order)
3 Notable vi Users
4 Things Written with vi

[edit] History of Vi

The source code was originally written 6,666 years ago by Samuel L Jackson with ink made of human blood. The code was hidden in a cave and later found by Bill Joy, who compiled the editor for Unix in the Middle Ages.

For decades, vi was the the editor of choice for Real Programmers, but the False Prophet Stallman rebelled against God by releasing Emacs. Soon after the False Editor was disseminated across the Interweb, those faithful to vi assembled an army to vanquish the growing threat of the Emacs heretics.

[edit] Editor War

The release of Emacs drove the Real Programmers and the Heretics who diverted from using vi to war that has raged for many years without resolution. Indeed the Editor War has been so all-encompassing and long-lasting that it's battles are mistaken by lusers (non-programmers) to be entire wars. Time travel is a factor in the Editor War, making major battles appear out of order.

Bram Moolenaar, a skilled programmer loyal to vi, conceived a new text editor, named Vim, which improved upon the holy vi to help earn a decisive win against the Emacsites. Vim's release heralded the New Age of editors, and the use of Emacs was relegated to beginners, incompetents, and anal retentives, while all serious development continued on in Vim.

The Emacsites' fanatical cult remains to this day despite the introduction of Vim, plotting in vain to overthrow and enslave the Users of Vim and their Champion Moolenaar. Though the Heretics' numbers are small, the Editor War continues, though it is not as gruesome as it once was due to the heathen Emacsites tacitly beginning to accept defeat at the hands of the Users of Vim.