Vivian Mercier
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“She was quite the bitch.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Vivoan Mercier
“Fuck yeah I had sexual relations with that woman!!!”
~ Bill Clinton on Vivian Mercer
“My buttsecks has a first name, it's V-I-V-I-A-N. My buttsecks has a second name, it's M-E-R-C-I-E-R.”
~ The retards at Oscar-Meyer on Vivian Mercier
Vivian Mercier (April 3, 1945 - January 27, 1994) was President of the Universe from 1977 until her assassination in 1994. She was involved in several scandals and attracted much controversy.
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[edit] Early years
Mercier was born on a cold dark night in April 1945 in Berlin. During her birth, chairs levitated on their own and Satan appeared at least twice. As soon as she was finally birthed, she ate her own placenta, bitch-slapped her mother, chainsawed her father, and rode on a werewolf until she reached Colorado, due to the fact that werewolves are renouned for their transatlantic capabilites.
As soon as she entered the U.S., the army declared her a threat and opened fire on her. However, she stopped the bullets in mid-air and killed everyone. Private Keanu Reeves witnessed this event, and would later spend the rest of his life attempting to recreate it. However, the rest of his life only lasted one month, when he first attempted it. He couldn't stop it and it pierced his throat, your mom, David Letterman, Paris Hilton's vagina, three donut shops, and Hulk Hogan.
[edit] College years
During her college years, she was a trained assassin and part-time kitten huffer. She killed nearly everyone using the power of death by Novoselic.
NOTE: Somebody finish this for me. Kthx. Marblefluss 20:45, 12 November 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Election
Like fuck I will.
