Vultures

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Vultures (zool. Vulgar baldheadis) are scavenging birds, feeding mostly on the "fun bags" of dead animals, and the occasional live animal (when they're feelin' saucy). Vultures are found on every continent, 3 planets and 14 moons. They also have a very overlooked talent at farming and growing their own crops to decrease reliances on finding dead beasts (both of the mythical and real variety).

Vultures are born with bald heads, and naturally this makes them extremely self conscious about their personal appearance. The bald head is claimed to be hereditary, an evolutionary trait gone awry that will doom the species by making them so ugly and unappealing that they will stop reproducing all together.

[edit] Types of Vultures

Vultures can vary in size from "wee" to "HOLY SHIT THAT'S BIG!" Most commonly, they are the size of your average 20lb turkey and taste very similar. In case you're a fuckin' half-wit and can't realise this on your own, this is where the name "turkey vulture" comes from.

[edit] Behaviour

Vultures are renknowned for, and can be identified by their near-constant farming and frolicking. These are the main behavioural traits that will expose a true vulture from some pissant condor or raven.

[edit] Diets And Such...

Corn (or maize as the Red Skin say) is a staple crop and the very cornerstone of the vulture's diet. The industrious vulture plants his seeds in April, and the rest they must rely on a good rain and blessing from the vulture god Odin. Any corn that is not eaten is then used to lure unsuspecting creatures of varying flavors and textures to a "killing hole", where the Vultures engage their special attack of "frenzy kill" and kill the naive animals.

[edit] Mythology of the Mighty Vulture

Vultures are believed to be descended from the half brother of the Greek God Jesus. The name and nature of this half brother has been lost to time, but the majority of historians concerned with the subject agree that his name was "Ray-Roy", and was born of Joseph and Mary. Jesus cared for his brother very much and therefore imbued his human brother with the ability to perform all those fancy magic tricks.

The Egyptians worshipped the vulture, because they were envious of its bald head, and ability to eat 90 day old meat. They tried to construct many monuments to the vulture, but because of poor planning they ended up looking very similar to a multi-sided triangle or "pyramid"

[edit] Famous Vultures

Patrick Stewart An obvious vulture and captain of the mighty USS Enterprise. His true identity was given away by his bald head and fancy for farming. He is also the first vulture to encounter and prevail over the mighty Borg army.

Those Vultures from the Jungle Book Pretty self explanatory really...

[edit] Future of the Vulture

Vultures have one goal in life, to eat fun-bags, and to reclaim their throne at Mount Erebor, so they can once again farm peacefully in the Kingdom Under The Mountain.