WCW
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
WCW, a.k.a. "world's crappiest wrestling", "dubya See dubyah" was a famous asylum featured on numerous reality shows in the 1990's. It began as a small asylum located in Atlanta run by local entrepreneur Bill Watts. It was a member of the NWA, the National Wackybin Association, until a dispute regarding the rights of inmates to wear gold belts caused a schism.
Contents |
[edit] The Early Days
In Summary: "Yeaaaaaahhh Hawwwwww! We Gunna rassle! Gelp Gelp, a-hickey..Texas......Oh Look! RoboCop!"
[edit] Purchase and Rise to Power
In the early 1990's, WCW was bought by notorious evil robot Ted Turner. He used his vast fortune to expand the WCW. In an effort to gain publicity, he took his asylum on tour across the country. In a stroke of freak genius, Turner overheard an associate use the Sigmund Freud quip "letting the inmates run the asylum". Thinking he was stealing a great idea, Turnerbot decided to allow the inmates in his asylum to organize their own activities, prescribe their own medication, and oversee their own treatment. What the prisoners developed to amuse themselves was a giant roped ring where they pretended to fight each other. They so entertained themselves, that the media minded turner decided to turn this extravaganza into a Reality show. After seeing such an innovative approach to the treatment of the mentally ill, patients came from all over the world to the WCW. The reality shows, such as Psych Ward and Orderly Stampede, were wildly popular. Some say that some WCW Wrestlers had founded the nWo on WCW, and the initals "nWo" are found on crazed WCW fan's shirts as seen in the photograph on the left. Yet no credible proof, beyond conspiracy theories can tie WCW to the New World Order.
[edit] Face on fire
nWo member and former pimp Hulk Hogan had what should have been a smashing match with Sting at WCW Starrcade 1997. Sting was this guy whose wife was killed by funky monkeys and he got his revenge by slaughtering them all with the scorpion death fart. During Sting vs Hogan, Hogan set his face on fire because "I think I'm better than fire, brother". The match ended when Sting was carried out on a stretcher laughing his ass off.
[edit] "The Greatest Night in the History of Our Sport"
WCW commentator Tony Schiavone, on every show, would claim that almost every show was "the grestest night in the history of our sport". This was not simple over-hype, however. Tony Schiavone, being the great commentator and broadcast journalist that he is, took great strides in proving this. He personally interviewed every fan in attendance whether they thought it really was "the greatest night in the history of our sport", and 92.848591% of the time they would agree. Only when he had a majority of the fans to agree with this would he proclaim it.
An overwhelming 100% of the fans in attendance the night David Arquette won the World Heavyweight Championship believed they had truly seen the greatest moment in the history of professional wrestling.
[edit] Downfall
This was obviously not sustainable though, retards just aren't capable of running a successful television show. Turner, seeing the writing on the wall for his reality show, sold the WCW's patients into slavery to fight in 3rd and 4th WWF wars. Many of them went on to be great war heroes, but many were killed
[edit] Return
In 2009 Vince McMahon added WCW as WWE's fourth brand. The roster included former WCW stars such as Bill Goldberg, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Denis Rodman, Billy Kidman, Jay Leno, DDP, The NWO B-team, Glacier, Sting, and Ralphus, with WWE legend Barista as General Manager. However, WCW talent was held down in favor of WWE favorites such as Rasta tha Voodoo Masta, Malls Baloney, Richard Hatch of "Survivor", Lady Miss Female Man, The Arab Menace (From Puerto Rico) and Billy Corgan. The first World Champion was Hulk Hogan who held the title for 2,000 years. He was defeated by The great great great grandson of Samoa Joe, Samoa Leonard. Samoa Leonard then battled the great and legendary Dr. Kevin Nash in a bitter war to see who could claim the Green Ranger's Green Dragon Flute of power, which Nash had once held to become the all powerful Diesel. This storyline allowed WCW to compete with Jeff Hardy's upstart TNA promotion in ratings.
