Wal-Mart's One and Only Republic of China
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| Motto: "Always Low Prices" | |||||
| National Anthem: "Money makes the world go around!" | |||||
| Image:Mapchina.jpg | |||||
| Official language | Business | ||||
| Capital | Foreign | ||||
| Government | U bet! | ||||
| Major Issue | Tibet! | ||||
| CEO | Mao Zedong III | ||||
| National Heroes | Mao Zedong, Jackie Chan, Sun Tzu, Hudson Leick and an anonymous Shaolin priest, presented in all Chinese movies, flying | ||||
| Established | When dinosaurs ruled the Earth. | ||||
| Currency | YuWang | ||||
| Religion | Persecution | ||||
Open at the following times:
- Weekdays 08:00 - 23:00
- Saturdays 09:00 - 23:00
- Sundays 09:00 - 18:00
- Chinese New Year
ClosedOpen - you Pay + 10 %
Contents |
[edit] Departments
[edit] Penetration Store
A store where any loser or ANYTHING can go and get penetrated by ANYONE! No matter how ugly you are, people will love to do it. However, you may get chlamydia.
[edit] Dairy products
Clean up on isle 666. The village capitalist got loose again.
[edit] Perfume
Wonton Noodle for the lady or Ching-Chang-China-Man for the gentleman.
[edit] Tools
Ever wonder why everything you assemble that's made in China comes with an allen wrench? That's because the Chinese love allen wrenches! The nice hexagonal shape inspires efficiency. And strange sex with very little boys.
[edit] Toys
Wal-Mart China toys makes the cheap look expensive. Like Fang xi Lin
Not in the sense that the cheap things they make has an extraordinary luster, but that ordinary cheap things made elsewhere look like treasures compared to the stuff this country produces. They Gaurente a delicious lead coating.
[edit] Underwares
You may think that those fancy, capitalist Silk thongs are overindulgent, and so does China! In fact, they created a cheaper version for all Wal-Mart stores that was made out of plastic!
[edit] Garden
Garden!!! they don't have enough room in the 2x2 parking lot...and that's a big one for china. And seeing how they eat babies...well I don't know.
[edit] Complaints
All complainers are shot on sight, as it is obvious they have been corrupted by capitalist influence.
[edit] Customer service
Customer service?? It's china baby
[edit] Wholesale
Wholesale? Have you been hoarding goods from your brothers in a warehouse?!?
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
[edit] Politics
The Wal-Mart's Republic of China, is the first country in the world which has legally been recognized as a corporation. Previously known as The People's Republic of China, the country was run by the people. Specific people, in fact. These specific people were actually one person Hu Jintao, but his views represented the views of the people. Well, at least the people who haven't been shot. He still remains, but now as CEO instead of Chairman of the Party.
[edit] Recognition
Though seemingly easy to do, many countries have failed to recognise Wal MArt China. This may be due to a politically correct atmosphere that has led people to look past things such as slanted eyes, but the act of recognition is in fact quite easy. Try it.
[edit] Manufacturing and Export Markets
China discovered a market in the year 2001 for 8 billion pairs of socks, with sock production predicted to peak at 90 billion pairs by the year 2030. Entire towns in Wal MArt China have been turned into sock factories to cope with demand. Over 700,000 'donated' political prisoner body organs are sold per month on C-bay. China has been accused of slavery, paying child workers only 3 cents per hour, but Wal Mart Inc. have played down the allegations.
[edit] See Also
| Countries and territories of Asia | |
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Western Asia: Afghanistan | Armenia | Azerbaijan | Bahrain | Persia | Terrorism | The Holy Land | Far East | Iraq's Hide-out | Oman | Pakistan | Palestinian Territories | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | Turkey | United Arab Emirates | Wherethefuckistan | Yemen East Asia: China (PRC) | Central Korea | Hong Kong Phooey | Japan | Macau | Kimland | South Korea | Taiwan (ROC) | Wal-Mart's Republic of China | Republic of Taiwan Southeast Asia: Cambodia | East Timor | Indonesia | Laos | Malaysia | Myanmar | Philippines | Singapore | Thailand | Vietnam South Asia: Bangladesh | Bhutan | India | Kashmir | Maldives | Nepal | The Wanker | Tibet Central Asia: The Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan | Kyrgyzstan | Mongolia | Tajikistan | Turkmenistan | Uzbekistan | other Stan countries Euroasia: Cyprus | Georgia | Japan-France | Russia | Turkey | The Filipino Empire Phoenician Asia: Lebanon | 
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| UNAMERICAN |
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| This page was originally sporked from Uncyclopedia's People's Republic of China article. |
