War on Religion
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The War on Religion is an ongoing hippie pinko commie left wing plot to eradicate religion by refusing to allow President Bush to bring back the Inquisition and public stoning of those who do not profess their adoration of Jesus at least once every seven minutes. The left-wing anti-religious tang-baiters have, for example, successfully manipulated activist judges into prohibiting the use of hubscrews in attaining religious conversions, and have even gone so far as to essentially spit on the Ten Commandments by opposing laws that would require these holy words to be tatooed on the forehead of every God-fearing American citizen.
For these transgressions, the President has issued an order declaring proponents of the War on Religion to be the third greatest threat to national security (behind trees and solar power, and slightly ahead of stem-cell researchers, but well ahead of terrorists, eco-terrorists, anarcho-terrorists, Martha Stewart, and Smurfs.
Because the... oh shit! They're watching me! Um... Jesus! Love Jesus, yep, I adore that Jesus, he is the center of my life and all I think about! Fuck the Muslims and the Jews, and the Catholics with their Pope, I love the Protestant Jesus of the Episcopal Church... no? Uh, Baptist! I love the Jesus of the Southern Baptist church! And fuck all other churches! Whew, that was close.
[edit] See also
Categories: Stub | Religion | War on
