War on kittens

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“God, I remember those days. It all went to hell!”

~ Jesus on War on Kittens

“Meow? Eat kitty litter!”

~ Non-Huffable Kitten on War on Kittens

“I swear, it wasn't me.”

~ Patch on War on Kittens

“grooooooog, kittens are less kvlt than my mother's back hair.”

~ Vlarg, The Black Metal Guy on War on Kittens

The war on kittens took place long ago on the 25th of April, 2088. As a result, kitten huffing was made legal and all kittens were to be snipped at a young age before they got those urges. Ultimately, many people were killed and it would have been a tragedy if everyone was not so doped up on kittens at the time.

[edit] The Start

It started when anti-kitten huffing groups were rioting in the streets of New York causing people to be late and angry, as they were trying to pay the bills rather then the hippies stopping them. The main contributors to this were most likely Greenpeace, Anti-Kitten Huffing R Us and France. As a result of arriving late for work the recently resurrected George Bush (through the trade of a million lazy souls (all American) which the devil happily accepted) looked for solution to keep everyone happy.

Killing the anti-kitten huffing protesters would just make people think he was pro-drug so on the 12 of February 2064 he put a war on kitten huffing and, ultimately, kittens. This went through the system for many years, was verified, re-verified, un-verified, reverified, re-un-verified and eventually lost until the 25 of April, 2088. So began the war.

[edit] The First Assault

The US army made the first charge against all kittens, but little did they know that the kittens had been planning for this for years, thanks to the Non-Huffable Kitten. The battles were ferocious. Most notably was the time when the Non-Huffable Kitten appeared and when there was a claimed sighting of, Reporting again kittens have lashed out against all rule by the government and are threatening dog kind...p.s Alden i made this (and then some read on) as you can see the kitten population has decreased due to the fact of druggies going on and on about how cool it is to huff kittens, turns out that they did. New news, kittens will bomb all dogs at April 3, ????? although i cannot show you the exact date remember that it is real! p.s again Eric Carman made this!!Patch.

[edit] The Kitten Fortress

The kittens fortress was being assaulted, which annoyed many of them. Unfortunately, the kittens were armed to the teeth and the US army (along with sucking up Australia and England) was unable to break it and gave in.

Though the battle raged on for a long time the army could do nothing against the unexpected animal ferocity of the kittens. The turning point in the fight was most likely the kitten snipers and when the cats arrived and attacked the flank of the US army.

[edit] Results of the War

The kittens (and subsequently cats) were allowed back into America allies, on one condition. Kitten Huffing was made legal. The US was dissapointed but too many of them were high on kittens and didn't notice too much. To that day, it is legal to huff kittens in the US, until the year 2165, where they had a second, also failed shot because no one was getting anything done.