Wardrobes

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A Wardrobe is a box used for holding clothes. In 1894 it was made law that all wardrobes must contain at least one Witch, one Lion and a host of fairytail creatures. This led to widespread maulings and curses.

[edit] History

When Duke Lumley, with his mandatory "inbred ruling class quirk or mental disease" announced that he hated the word "closet, he ordered all in the kingdom to be burned. This lasted until his corrupt advisor told him that he was a king and could do anything he damn well pleased, Lumley decided to simply changed the name of the closet to "wardrobe", a combination of the popular terms "ward" which probably means to put on or something and "robe" which is something rich stiffs wear to bed.

After declaring the law, he ordered everyone in England to say it at least once a day, as they do with "bum", "bollock", and "loo" or be faced with death.

However, for generations afterwards Americans still called it a closet. Action needed to be taken. The current king ordered mild-mannered C.S. Lewis to write a book about a wardrobe. Lewis agreed, making the wardrobe in the book so fantastically different than American closets that no such mistake would ever be made again. The book became incredibly popular and known to 90% of the world. Unfortunately, all the American's who seemed to be traveling to England were rich philistines. So to make it even more clear that "wardrobes" were not "closets". Parliament passed a law declaring that all wardrobes were to actually be equipped with a real lion and witch ready to maul all who called it a closet. From that point on, only 10% of American tourists returned.

In 1904.2, a group of mildly interested university students thought it would be a great idea to come up with a theory so stupid it would be elligible for consideration by the certain sort of scientist who smashes stuff together than claims its for the betterment of mankind, lets see a railway conducter try that one at the trial.

their theory was largely based on a popular novel by C.S Lewis, and a magical land called Narnia, and they set out to prove this place existed because it could result in (if not widespead accalim) than widespread notoriety and an oprah interveiw.

what they discovered shocked them, and considering that these were people who survived oprah interviews, they're not easily shocked. there IS a magical land behind the wardrobe doors, a small universe. But what most people fail to realise is that this land is about 2 by 5 feet and full of old, miscellaneous socks.

Ok, i hear you say, what does this have to do with me, why should i care, its just a new place for hippies to try to get government protection for. but the students discovered that this was ONE SPACE! connected to ALL wardrobes. this led to experiments into the socks, yes, the humble socks, and what was found was quite revealing, all wardrobes had their own "sock code", and by arranging these socks in certain formations, one could theoretically exit throgh a DIFFERENT wardrobe... hmmm?

This theory of A.S.S (Ametric Stitching Siltratics) brought about a whole flood of ideas that could be put to practice using this discovery, and were wrong, its a really useless fact. and the A.S.S was really just blowing gas, and all those people who had buried their noses in it for so long were left feeling pretty stupid.

this basically means, if you jump into a wardrobe, and mess about with socks, youll get arrested for breaking and entering.