Warranty

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Warranty is a contraction of the term "War and Tea", a tactic heavily employed by the British during their colonisation of India. It was virtually unheard of for the British Army not to cease fire on the dot of 4.30pm during each day of combat; at this point the uncommissioned ranks would consume a cup of Yorkshire Tetley Tea while the officers would imbibe Earl Grey from china cups. The little finger of each tea-drinker traditionally remained extended towards the enemy in a gesture generally understood to mean "Hold it a minute there old fellow, I think your insurgency can wait another 45 minutes can't it now."

Such was the predictability of British behaviour that the term entered the language as a measure of certainty, i.e. one might describe a superlatively likely event as "certain as War and Tea". In modern-day English this has become abbreviated to "Warranty", a term typically employed to describe a business contract which guarantees the reliability of goods and/or services. The origins of the word have been forgotton by the majority of English-speakers; however certain related traditions remain in common use. In particular, it is still customary to extend one's little finger when returning faulty goods to Harrods or Fortnam & Mason.

Warranty should not be confused with the War on Tea, a new initiative of President George W Bush II, with the single aim of wiping out all international trade in the deadly drug Caffiene.

See also:

War and Peas, an alternative to the British tactic, proposed by the author Tolstoy (who famously declared that he would rather consume garden vegetables than leaves infused in hot water).

War ner Brothers

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