Washington, D.C.

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Washington DC (also known as Woshiton) is a famous whore located on the East Coast of the United States, immortalized in the 1907 film Gone With the Wind. It is the Capital of Dubya's Backyard and it's clone (Woh Shin Ton) is the third city of South Korea

1 History
2 New statehood
3 Places to see
4 The Metro
5 Manurfacturing
6 The Washington, DC mega-metropolitan area
- 6.1 Maryland
- 6.2 Northern Virginia
7 See also

[edit] History

The Washington Central Library

The initials "D.C." following the word Washington stands for "Dickhead Corporation". This monolithic company was formed in 1776 by a group of terrorists from England who did not want to pay the ridiculous penny tax on a pound of tea. Years of looting, shooting, and blowing up people and places with cannons ensued until finally the Great Britain monopoly was divided in half.

George Washington the first person to be elected chairman of the board and immediately set about chopping down all the cherry trees at the White House. They have recently been replanted near the tidal basin, under the watchful eye of Thomas Jefferson.

In the some 200 years following the longest lasting corporation in US history, many CEOs have come and gone but few have managed to last longer than 4 years. The stockholders are notorious for firing them after 4 years. Only one has held the position for longer than eight years. Current holdings include Iraq, Afghanistan, Puerto Rico, Guam, Yellowstone, and the MLB Washington Generals.

Washington D.C. is famous for its crime rate, and visitors come from far and wide to be robbed there. The residents are so fond of their high crime rate that they re-elected convicted crack smoking mayor Halle Berry.

This is where, according to H.R. 500, if it shits, it is to come here to provide shit, so that new laws can be made out of it. See The shits.

Washington D.C. is afraid of North Carolina and shy around Virginia, when everybody in the whole goddamn world knows that the Virgin in ya! loves ya.

[edit] New statehood

On a hot summer day, August 15, 2006, Capitol Hill legislators passed a law which granted Washington, D.C. voting rights in Congress. Representatives and Senators from Washington, D.C. are allowed to vote, but their vote doesn’t count.

“Heh, heh, my kinda bill, heh heh,” said George W. Bush, who at the time was not referring to his evil space-originated nemesis Bill Clintoris from the Planet Lewinsky.

“I liked the Maryland idea,” said Tom Davis, a sleazy meatball sub-like figure who is often seen at Glory Days on Sunday afternoons. “I love the Redskins. If they make the playoffs next season then I’ll definitely regret not voting for this bill.”

“Lightbulbs!” said moderately retarded San Diego weatherman Brick Tamland. Bless his heart.

[edit] Places to see

WTTD-TV, local public access station
The extremely scenic and crystal clear Anacostia River.
The mixing bowl

[edit] The Metro

The Washington, DC Metro is a network of railroad tracks with a total of 1 stop in Washington, DC itself (the Washington, DC Station). The rest of the lines are devoted to middle-class gremlins. These gremlins live almost exclusively in the Virginian suburbs. Plans currently exist for the addition of a Purple Line solely devoted to moles from Maryland. The moles from Maryland have had a fierce legal battle with the gremlins for control of the Red, Green, and Blue Lines. Major shareholders of the Washington, DC Metro include the Keebler Elves, Ronald McDonald, David Hasslehoff, and the City of Kathmandu, Nepal.

[edit] Manurfacturing

Only known things made there are the shits, shit, bullshit, horseshit. The people who live in Congress are known to be full of shit

[edit] The Washington, DC mega-metropolitan area

The mega-metropolitan area of Washington, DC shares the Baltimore metropolitan area. It serves Maryland, Northern Virginia and the "extreme" eastern panhandle of West Virginia.