Water Guitar
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Water guitars are esoteric instruments consisting entirely of water. The common water guitar has 6 streams of water and 16 fountains. It is recommended that the beginner uses diving gear whilst learning to play the water guitar, as reckless water guitar play has been connected to a string of recent drownings.
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[edit] History
It is speculated that the water guitar originated when our curious predecessors attempted to play music on their own urine. Realizing that this led to foul odors and other unpleasant side effects, the concept was then generalized into the water guitar.
The earliest water guitar was found in Ancient Rome, and died with the fall of Rome. The water guitar was since resurrected during the renaissance, where it gained large popularity. Unfortunately, the water guitar has since faded in popularity, failing to compete with the much lighter air guitar. It has had a small upswing lately amongst environmentalists, who claim it saves the rain forest.
Despite the intense enviromental benefits of using a guitar made of water, it suffers from poor portability, frequently dissolving in the players hands. However, Bono insists on using it, as he is such a good person. He has been quoted as saying "it's the only real choice for those who love our planet," and that if you were to play a "regular wooden guitar, you'll burn in hell."Hippies across the world have taken this valuable advice to heart, and the Water Guitar has slowly been becoming popular; raising from the deep murky depths of the ocean to the public eye. Playing a water guitar will proberly gain you many fans, before you hook it up the amp and die from getting electrocuted thus making it a very high risk instrument second only to the nose flute.
[edit] Construction
The construction of the water guitar begins with humble water. It is processed several times to remove impurities, before it is lead through several filters. The water is then transported to a large marble structure, where it is pumped around by various highly technical devices to produce the instrument we all cherish so much today.
This process is fairly fast, though it is difficult to keep the water guitars in good repair, therefore, the construction system has been built inside many recording studios to allow easy access. The company Waterworld Inc. currently holds a monopoly on these manufacturing systems, though others are attempting to imitate it due to their lack of original ideas.
[edit] Trivia
- The Beatles originally played water guitars, but had to move to wood and air guitars to avoid electrocution.
- Most regular water taps can be converted into a water guitar.
- It is also possible to use beer, or any other liquid in your water guitar.
- Water guitars can be an effective murder weapon if the victim's face is shoved into the guitar and held there.
- Water guitars are extremely difficult to play effectively, unless you pay Waterworld Inc. millions of dollars first.
- Playing a water guitar is a surefire way to earn youself a name, before you hook it up the amp and die from electrocution thus making it a very high risk instrument second only to the nose flute.
