Water computer

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Water Computers use miniature hydroelectric dams to generate computing power. There's a one gallon reservoir of demonically-charged water at the top, which drains through a turbine with 450,000 balsa wood (for lightness) blades. This results in 50 megajoules to power the cpu. The water, now being completely spent, must be recharged with demonic energy before being pumped back to the reservoir. There's more than enough energy coming from the turbine to perform the pumping action; the demonic energy, though, requires the collection tank to be placed in front of a TV where Dick Cheney is giving a speech. A one hour Cheney speech contains enough demonic energy to charge 5 gallons of water.

The water computer was first envisioned by the late Reverend Al Sharpton (1954-) just 8 weeks prior to his birth. Considered a late bloomer in the arena of demonically-charged water power (DCWP), the then unnamed Sharpton fetus drew up blueprints for a DCWP handheld calculator. These plans passed through the amniotic barrier and were eventually excreted in the stool of the mother. Walmart soon caught wind of the plans and had 100,000 of these calculators manufactured in China, but they proved to be poor sellers due to the weight of the water tank. After growing to a weight of 235 lbs outside the womb some forty years later, the then-named Reverand Al went back to his origins and drew up plans for the DCWP computer (which were again excreted through his mother's stool). Now manufactured by Philip Morris, these computers have been a major hit, particularly in parts of the Republican world where water and Dick Cheney speeches are common.