Waterview Park

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Located in the rugged mountain country of North Texas, Waterview Park is one of America's premier wildlife habitats, dedicated to preserving vanishing species of wildlife from across Texas and the southern United States.

[edit] History

Waterview Park was founded by Theodore Roosevelt as a way to protect America's vanishing wildlife heritage, especially ants, cockroaches, and fruit flies. Roosevelt realized that because these animals were not as "sexy" as bison or bald eagles, they would receive little public support and therefore faced the greatest threat of extinction.

[edit] Mission

To preserve native wildlife while educating the public about the dangers of unsafe sex and the necessity of contraception.

[edit] Growth and Progress

Since its founding as a refuge strictly for vermin, Waterview Park has broadened its scope of interests to include the preservation and rehabilitation of college students. Naturalists had noticed a disturbing trend in the abandonment of weaning-age humans who were simply thrust out of the house.

Said one Waterview Park Ranger, "A lot of the problem came from Hollywood. First there was Look Who's Talking and its sequels, and then you had movies like Baby's Day Out and Baby Geniuses. Now everyone wants a baby. But people just don't realize the kind of commitment that it takes to raise a child. It's not like on a movie. Babies get bigger, they eat, they soil the furniture.

Without a lot of patience and attention and proper training [on the part of] the parents, the child just goes wild. Unfortunately, a lot of people just drive the child out to the middle of nowhere and drop it off. But these children are not equipped to survive in the wild. Most of the time they were born in captivity; they've never known anything but domestication. Out here, you see a lot of dead kids that have been hit by cars or just didn't know how to find food. Sometimes, you'll find a child three, four miles up the road that died trying to follow the car back home. No food out here, no water. It's just awful.

That's why we expanded Waterview Park, to take in these children and help them get adjusted to life in the wild so they can be productive citizens of nature. We have a guilt-free drop-off, so people who don't want their children can find people who do. We have one of the most successful recovery rates in the nation for abandoned children, and we are also pioneering a field of inter-species harmony. We're one of the few preserves in the country where you see free mixing of insects and humans, without any barriers or holding pens. We're establishing the kind of eco-system that really gives back to the land and the whole environment."

[edit] Visiting Waterview Park

Waterview Park is a restricted access preserve. Public visiting hours are 6:00 pm----3:00am, Tuesday through Saturday, except major holidays, by appointment only. Those who show up without proper documentation will be fined and probably removed from the park. The park is closed with no exceptions from 3:30 am----4:30 pm while the residents are asleep.